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The blood was thundering in Garak's ears as he walked out through the door of Sisko's office, the smile still locked on his lips. Insane, he thought. A nod to a young lieutenant who had purchased a gift for her fiance just yesterday, and another to Major Kira as he passed, ignoring her stony glance. Did Sisko really think that Garak would consent to this scheme? That he'd participate in something that was nothing less than a suicide mission? If so, then he must think Garak, himself, was crazy. And he wasn't. Oh, no. Not in the slightest. He was probably the most sane person on this station today and he knew that this scheme wouldn't work.

Granted that ketracel-white was the key to taking down the Jem'Hadar. There were still other avenues to try. Send teams in to take out the production planets, not just try to bomb them from space. But, no. Captain Sisko says they wouldn't get them all and they'd just start up production again. So what! It would slow them down. And that's what special forces, or even professional spy teams, do. It's what Garak, himself, would have done if that had been his mission.

The smile reappeared on his lips as a good customer stopped him to enthuse over the compliments she'd gotten on the new dress she'd worn to her sister's wedding. As Garak expounded on how it was she who had made the dress look good, in his mind he was tearing the dress into smaller and smaller strips, the smile never leaving his face until finally she left, beaming. It took a moment to stop his body from shaking and unclench his teeth.

Looking around in bewilderment, Garak realized that he had left Sisko's office and instinctively walked toward his shop. But that wasn't where he needed to be. Turning on his heel, he retraced his steps at a fast pace, eyes focused on the distance so as not to meet the eyes of anyone who might again try to catch his attention. There was only one place he needed to be, and one person he needed to see.

*******************

"I understand that he's with a patient, Madam. My question was when do you expect him to be through and can you get a message to him that I need to see him." Charming. Stay charming. A little flirtatious, maybe.

"As I told you before, a doctor is never disturbed when he's with a patient. And since this is a first examination, it's scheduled for another ten minutes, but could go past that. I just don't know, Mr. Garak."

Images of his hands wrapped around her throat made Garak consciously relax them. "But a note. Surely your technicians slip into examinations all the time. For medical emergencies." He could see in her eyes she was weakening.

"Doctor Pelketh just finished with a patient and I could have him see you immediately, if it's an emergency."

"I don't..." Garak could hear his voice raising. Consciously, he brought it back under control and allowed his smile to naturally widen. "A wonderful doctor from all I've heard, but Dr Bashir has been overseeing my condition for quite some time, and he knows exactly how..."

"Garak! I didn't know you were here." Julian had just appeared at the reception desk with a very pregnant Andorian, who made her way past the group.

"You were with a patient, Doctor. Mr Garak is having a medical emergency and I was just about to let you know." Garak smiled and nodded to the woman, as his mental counterpart snapped her neck and let her lifeless body slump in her chair. With a pleasant nod to the still living original, Garak allowed Julian to lead him into an examination room.

"You heard then!" The idiot was beaming.

"Yes, I heard. And there is no way I'm going to advise you how to get yourself killed on a spy mission. Are you out of your mind, Julian? Sisko is clearly insane to have come up with this plan, and you are not going to go along with this insanity. You're a doctor, not a spy, and you shouldn't be anywhere near..."

"It was my idea, Garak." The quiet voice did what a louder one wouldn't have done. It stopped Garak in mid-sentence. There was silence as they stared at one another. "I learned enough about the compound on Bopak Three to have come up with the idea of modifying it. But all the data I had on ketracel-white was lost when Miles destroyed my equipment. I remember most of it, but not all. If I'm going to try what I have in mind, I need full data and I need a good sized supply to experiment on."

"I can accept that, Julian. But that's a job for a professional. You can play spy to your heart's content in a holosuite. I'll even help you develop new scenarios. But you're not a spy, and you never will be. It's hard sitting back and waiting. I know. I've handled spies as well as been one. But you do your job and you let the professionals do theirs."

"A spy would never know what they were seeing, Garak. Can't you understand? I'm the only one that could memorize the process and the composition..."

"That enhanced brain of yours," Garak spit out.

"You have to admit that it's a massive advantage for us. As well as the fact that I'll know exactly what I'm looking at and not get taken in by any false information that security might have left conveniently around."

"Assuming you get in, don't get caught, and get out again. Assumptions that I, for one, don't believe. A professional doesn't have to know what they're seeing, they just need to get copies of the data and bring those copies out. That's what we do, Julian." Garak's voice was breaking and it was all he could do to not reach out and shake his friend.

"And if they get caught, or the information can't be passed, we lose any chance to maybe take down the Jem'Hadar in one maneuver. I'd be taking out the data in my head."

"Don't forget the powder you say you need, too. You don't think they have sensors to make sure none of that white latinum leaves the facility? Starfleet has an entire department filled with spies who do that work every day. Talk to Section 31. But Starfleet doesn't need you there, Julian. Here in Medical is where you can make the most important contributions. It wouldn't be an adventure like we play at. It would be certain death." Now he did put his hands on Julian's shoulders but, instead of shaking him, Garak just tightened his grip.

Julian didn't move away. He was calmer and easier than Garak had ever seen him during one of their frequent arguments. And when Garak finally let the death grip he held on Julian relax, Julian said very quietly, "I'm a doctor. Garak. I'm the right person for this mission."

Garak knew the determination in those eyes. He'd lost countless arguments to those eyes. Stepping back a few steps, he bumped into a chair and sat down abruptly, fear rising as he realized that this absurd idea might actually happen. His head slumped and he let his eyes close. Soft footsteps moved behind him and he felt firm hands take his shoulders and begin massaging them.

"You just said that you've been a spy handler. That makes this even easier. You train me up. We've only got two weeks, according to Captain Sisko, but I'm certain that you can get me ready in that amount of time."

The most direct thing to do would be to kidnap Julian, Garak thought, paying minimal attention to Julian's words. Make arrangements with a freighter that was leaving to take Garak, as well as a large cargo box. He could be off the station with Julian before anyone knew that they were gone. But then what? Where would they go?

"I've already made arrangements with Quark. We have a reserved holosuite for the whole time before and during the mission. We change the entry codings and we've got a secure headquarters. I've already looked into modifying some existing holosuite scripts and you're going to be pleased when you see what I've come up with."

It didn't have to be a big planet. A small one would probably be better. Somewhere where the Federation didn't have a base, ideally. Somewhere that would appreciate the addition of a tailor and a doctor to the local population.

"I'm thinking I should get Miles into our group and let him handle communications. We'll need to come up with some devices that use unusual frequencies and which are heavily encrypted. Miles can do that."

A neck pinch would render Julian unconscious, but then he couldn't get him out of here in the middle of the main shift. So sometime later, after he'd had a chance to put his affairs in order and pack an additional go bag for Julian.

"Are you listening to me, Garak?"

The soothing background noises turned into Julian's hard voice, and the hands on his shoulders were shaking him. Julian walked around and knelt on one knee in front of Garak, taking his hands. "We can do this, Garak. You can get me ready. We've been playing spy games for too long. This is a serious mission and I absolutely know that I'm the only one that can do this. Do you realize how many lives could be saved if I succeed?"

The face was so close to his and the hands so tight. Garak's entire focus was on brown eyes that dragged him into their very soul.

"I love you."

The words repeated in Garak's head and it wasn't until he saw the change in Julian's face that he realized he'd said them out loud. Julian pulled his hands away and stood up. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. For just a moment, Garak shut his eyes and hoped that this scene was one of his fantasies but, when he opened them again, Julian was still standing there, uncharacteristically speechless. Garak sighed deeply. Was there ever a situation Garak couldn't make worse? He got to his feet and looked Julian straight in the eyes.

"I've been in love with you since the first day we met. You can ask anything you want of me and I'd give it to you. My soul, if that's what you needed. But you can't ask me to help you kill yourself."

The silence between them continued until Julian abruptly turned away to face the featureless wall. Garak didn't move. Inwardly, he let his mind drift on the gentle waves he used to calm himself. Whether he'd meant him to or not, Julian now knew. What came next was out of Garak's hands. It was another five minutes before Julian turned around and, for someone who knew how to read that face like a book, Garak could read nothing.

"Then you need to teach me how to stay alive."

Their eyes never dropped from one another. It was Garak who folded first. He took a deep breath before very slowly nodding.

*******************

"So, what do you think?"

Garak said nothing as he walked through the corridor of doorways opening into a variety of small rooms. In one was a computer setup with comfortable office chairs. Another held an exercise mat, with a variety of foils and dumbbells hanging on the walls. Through a doorway could be seen a laboratory stocked with various chemicals and equipment. Julian paced at his heels, barely able to conceal his pride in the spy school he'd created. Unable to hide the beginnings of a smile, Garak asked, "Poisons?"

"Neuro-paralyzers. The effects wear off in a few hours, which should work just as well."

Garak nodded and walked on. The weapons range was the cleanest one Garak had ever seen. There was even a small equipment bench for cleaning the virtual phasers.

The last room looked like a large closet. Hanging on the rack were a profusion of costumes of every possible description. Most were of high fashion styles from a variety of cultures and professions. If Garak could have guessed, most would have looked well on a college professor or visiting scientist, though a few were dark and draped with hoods and cloaks. He allowed the grin he was surpressing to spread across his face as he examined the cuff of an evening coat, before carefully suppressing the smile and turning to Julian. "I see you have a plan for how you're going to get into the lab. On Eld Two, isn't it? Known for their medical research."

"The Lapthon Prize. Yes. They won it several years ago. My cover is that I'm a purchasing agent for sublatean enzyme analysis equipment. That's not what they'll be doing, but it's close enough to explain why I think they're a sales prospect."

Garak nodded thoughtfully as he wandered back toward the entry. "And if they aren't interested?"

"Then I'll have gotten a look at their layout and I come back later and break in. I'm assuming you can teach me what I need to know about door locks."

"Probably," Garak agreed. "Computer. End program." The spy school turned back into a bare room.

Startled, Julian looked around in confusion. Garak just smiled and walked over to the computer access panel, opened it, and brought up the program to examine.

"What was wrong with my scenario? I think I covered every topic I'm going to need."

Garak ignored him as he settled into serious coding. Julian moved to Garak's shoulder to watch. Once he opened his mouth, then closed it again. It was half an hour before Garak stopped, read and reread what he'd done, and then closed up the panel. Moving to the doorway, Garak said, "Computer. Start program."

The space instantly filled with a free-standing room set in the middle of the space and visible through a glass wall. The interior walls were normal, with the main furniture being a reception desk behind which sat an Elden woman of indeterminate age. Confused, Julian turned to Garak, who waved him into the room. "If you want to get to the people who have the information, you have to get past her."

A slow smile spread across Julian's face and he opened the glass door and entered. Garak moved to the glass and watched as Julian looked back and, from the momentary confusion, Garak knew that Julian was seeing a solid interior wall and not the glass. A holosuite inside a holosuite. Rather elegant, if Garak did say so.

Julian's voice was clear as he walked over to the reception desk. Garak moved around the room to another glass wall for a better view of the two.

"I know I didn't make an appointment, but I was hoping that I might be able to talk to one of the scientists on one of your enzyme projects. I'm Dr. Bond. James Bond." Whatever else he might have said was blasted out by a siren that had begun when the receptionist reached beneath her desk. As Garak watched, grinning, four large security guards appeared in the room, phasers drawn, and slammed Julian down on the desk.

"Computer. Freeze program."

Instantly everyone in the room but Julian froze in place. Wiggling his way free, Julian stepped away from the crowd and walked out of the room, turning to look back at the frozen scenario now visible through the glass wall. Garak came over to join him. They stared for a while in silence, then Garak explained, "What I'm going to teach you is how to evaluate situations and modify your approach as you go. We'll cover the other things, too, but this is what will make or break your ability to fulfill your assignment. And that is what these lessons will be all about. Focusing on the goal and using every means in your skill set to accomplish it. No matter what." The last was said with deadly seriousness.

Julian nodded.

"We're moving in here, so go out and clear up your affairs and bring in whatever you think you'll need for two weeks. I suggest you might want some medical supplies, too."

Julian nodded, though not as happily.

"You have one hour. The next time you'll leave this room will be to head for the docking bay. Computer. Unlock exit." There was a smile starting on Julian's face., "Well, go!" Garak encouraged with a gesture. Julian went.

For a moment, Garak looked at the place which had opened into an exit and returned back into a blank wall. Then he turned and walked around the scenario room. In the middle of the outer holosuite wall was a door, which he opened and went in. This was another large space, but one whose "outside" wall was virtual glass showing the view outside the station. The larger of the two beds was positioned up against the glass, the smaller not far from it. It would be a comfortable place to live for two weeks. Certainly a lot better than the training station where Garak's classes had been held.

Satisfied, Garak turned and quickly left the bedroom. He had his own packing to do before he moved in here with Julian. The bed had reminded him of something he might not have remembered. Lubricant. He was smiling as he headed for the stairs down into Quark's bar.

*******************

Garak was just unpacking the last of his clothes when Julian returned, lugging a large carryall. Garak was taking out the lubricant and putting it in the table drawer. Julian's eyes moved to the drawer, the large bed and, finally, to Garak. A raised eyebrow asked the obvious question.

Garak shook his head and closed the drawer. "Not yet." After a moment, Julian nodded and began his own unpacking.

*******************

"Ow! You've got the touch of a Vulcan shelat."

"Do you want to do this yourself?" Garak passed the medical device over Julian's arms again and peered at the display, trying to see if the bone healing data was showing that his attempt at playing doctor was finally working. Oh, for a bio-bed with a surgical tissue regenerator. Yes, it was working! Now if Julian would just keep still. Garak grabbed the shoulder of the injured arm and held it steady, ignoring the pathetic yelps coming out of the useless doctor. Seven minutes seventeen seconds later, the display turned green. Slowly Garak forced his cramping hand to release Julian. Julian's color was better and he immediately began moving his arm, testing its strength. Garak turned to put the device into the medical bag, giving himself a minute to regain his calm, now that the emergency was over. Anyone else, and Garak would have had no reaction. But Julian...

"I'd swear those security guards are rougher every day," Julian said as he flexed the arm.

"They are." The flat statement whipped Julian's head around. They stared at one another for a moment before Julian nodded, then went back to his exercises. "Consider it additional incentive. If you can't get through the receptionist, you're not going to get inside and you may as well give this up before you start."

"Bland statement. Begin analyzing micro-expressions. Slow conversation that follows up on all the positive reactions. I've got it. When we try this again tomorrow morning, I'll have her eating out of my hand. My other hand, that is."

Garak decided not to reply with a comment about not letting her bite it. He was feeling badly enough about the pounding he'd been putting Julian through. A little optimism couldn't really hurt the man.

"So, Day Eight. We've done 'Getting into locked places and getting out of them.' We've done 'Figuring out where people hide things.' We've done 'Sleight of hand.' What's the topic for today? And what about talking to Miles? We haven't gotten any communication system set up yet and there's only five days left. If anyone knows how to keep undercover work under the covers, you know it will be Miles."

Garak shook his head as he moved to the auxiliary computer terminal he'd set up in the corner of the bedroom. It was more convenient than having to continually go to the holosuite exit. "We agreed that this was going to be just you and me. Communications is taken care of. We'll do training on it in enough time to let you be comfortable with the equipment. As for today, let's go see today's scenario," Garak said, leading the way to the front of the glass wall behind which could be seen a security guard standing at attention in front of a door.

"You want me to get him to let me through that door."

"No," Garak said. "I want you to get through that door in twenty seconds from when you enter the room. And I want you to not let him stop you."

"This looks like one of your Dirty-tricks/Fighting scenarios, but with a deadline."

Garak opened the door and waved Julian in. "Twenty seconds."

Ten seconds later Julian was sitting on his ass, and the man had returned to the door he was guarding. Julian got up from the floor and returned to the doorway. At Garak's nod, he rushed up to the man with one of the dirtier moves Garak had taught him. This time he was on his back in under ten seconds. Slowly getting up, Julian returned to Garak and, at Garak's nod, headed in again.

The attempted take down went on for two hours before Julian came out and collapsed onto the holosuite floor. Garak crouched down beside him. "It's impossible," Julian panted.

Garak shook his head. "Kill him." The simple statement made Julian's mouth drop open. "If you kill him the instant you get within reach, you'll be through that door in twenty seconds."

There was anger in Julian's face as he got to his feet and went back to the door, and determination as he nodded for Garak to start the timer. Fifteen seconds later he was back on the floor. This went on for another hour. Finally, Garak called out, "Computer. Freeze program."

Walking into the room, Garak went to stand over Julian, who closed his eyes and struggled to catch his breath. "The mission is everything. The people obstructing it are nothing. You want to be a spy? This is what being a spy is about. Cold-blooded killing if that's the only way you complete your mission. If you can't do it, then I'm calling this whole thing off. And I've got the final say, according to Sisko. So what's it going to be?"

Looking at Julian lying there so long, Garak was beginning to think that Julian had come to see that this was more than an adventure game. Spying was real and spying was dirty. If Julian couldn't kill, then he would get killed. And that, Garak was determined, was not going to happen.

When Julian opened his eyes, he met Garak's for a long time before slowly getting up and returning to the doorway, where he waited for Garak to join him. At Garak's nod, Julian rushed into the room, grabbed the security guard and broke his neck. He was through the door in under fifteen seconds. When he didn't come out again immediately, Garak took a deep, long breath and walked back to the bedroom.

*******************

It had been a long hard day on both of them. Julian, because he sincerely hated the various ways of killing that Garak spent the day teaching him. Garak, because he knew he was damaging a soul. But they continued until Garak ran out of scenarios and he knew Julian was running out of strength - both physical and emotional. The last scenario had involved a young woman, and Garak could see the pain etched into Julian's face. They undressed in silence and each got into bed.

Garak turned so that he could look out the window and tried not to listen to Julian's breathing. But the catches made themselves heard where something more overt might not have. A shuttle moved slowly across the virtual window, and Garak concentrated on remembering how many passengers it took, and what the technical specs for that particular model were.

He'd just finished counting fuel cell filters when he felt the bed move and the weight of a figure settle into the empty space behind him. It took a moment for his heart rate to regain its normal beat. Slowly he rolled over. Julian lay on his side, turned away. As carefully as he could, Garak pulled Julian close up against his body and, after another little while, felt the tenseness begin to leave the rigid form. Sliding an arm around the slim waist, Garak held him lightly but firmly and, after a long time, when he knew that Julian was finally sleeping, Garak allowed himself to do the same.

*******************

Garak awoke first, tense with the realization that he wasn't alone in bed, and then amazed at realizing what he held in his arms. His waking must have alerted Julian, because Garak could feel the body he held suddenly grow rigid and then, purposely, relax.

"Don't worry. Your virtue is still safe." Garak's voice was soothing. He was relieved to hear a chuckle shake the body he held.

"For how much longer?"

"A few days. That is, unless you'd like to start sooner."

"An instructor's fee?"

The hand that held Julian tightened. "No!" Garak purposely relaxed it, then removed it from Julian and pulled away, turning over to lie flat on his back. He looked up at the ceiling. "One of the favorite games played among certain security forces involves making a captive into a play thing. It's considered a fun way to soften them up for interrogation."

He could feel Julian turn over. He glanced at him before looking back at the ceiling. "If you haven't had sex with a man and it happens to you, you're going to end up damaged both physically and mentally. Consider this in the same category as learning how to resist interrogations. I'd been planning to open you up not long before you leave. Probability says nothing will happen. But, just in case it does..." Garak looked over again at Julian. "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do this."

"You've been raped."

Garak nodded and turned his head to look out the window.

"How many times?"

"Eleven."

"By more than one man?"

"Seven times." He rolled onto his side to look directly at Julian. "Don't make it more than it was, Julian. I knew the risks and I was prepared. Much like I'm planning to prepare you. It was just something to get through, which I did. If it happens to you, you'll get through it, too." Garak sat up and pushed Julian gently toward the edge of the bed. "Now up. The day is passing and we have a full schedule to get through, as well as your favorite receptionist to charm. Maybe this will be the day you don't meet her friends. And today's topic is going to be 'How to know when someone is lying to you.'" He shoved harder and Julian landed on the floor. Garak leaned over the edge of the bed. "Now, tell me, is that going to be today's topic or not?" He was able to keep the grin off his face as he made his way around the laughing man and headed for the bathroom, but the smile broke out once he closed the door.

*******************

As it turned out, lying was not to be the topic of the day. Once Julian had had his morning flattening by the receptionist's security friends, Garak put Julian back into the locked room from which he had to escape. But this time the lesson was on 'Focus and distraction.'

Suspecting that he was in for a wait before Julian would be joining him for lunch, Garak had had the computer put a comfortable chair outside the room's window and settled down to enjoy the show. In the middle of the far wall was a banged-up, dilapidated door. Garak's smile widened. Appearances certainly could be deceiving. As Julian examined the mechanical lock closely, a loud ticking of a countdown clock began. There was definitely annoyance in the glance that Julian gave to the ceiling before settling on one knee with his lock pick set out.

Garak let him get half-way through the tumbler set before saying pleasantly, "Computer. Scenario Six." Instantly, the ceiling turned into storm clouds. A driving rain - complete with thunder and lightning - soaked the room. Hair in his face, water dripping off his nose, Julian paused only long enough to shake a fist where he thought Garak was watching - wrong wall - before returning to his task. The countdown clock was louder to make itself heard over the rain.

Sipping his drink, Garak punched a communicator button on his PADD. "The mission is the only essential. Everything else is a distraction that you must ignore. Focus. The rain doesn't exist. All that exists is the lock that you WILL open." Julian glanced up again at the wrong wall and his lips moved in a silent curse that Garak could easily read. Impressive, Garak thought. He'd have to remember to add it to his own rather large set.

When ten minutes had passed and Julian had not yet opened the door, Garak put his drink down and rose from his chair, stretching. As he entered the rain-filled room, a large umbrella appeared over his head. Julian threw him a dirty look and returned to working on the lock. Standing at his shoulder and letting the umbrella shield Julian as well, Garak watched for a moment before quietly saying, "Keep your shear line steady." Julian's teeth clenched and his body tensed as he ignored Garak, but his focus did tighten. Another few seconds and the key pins could be heard falling into place. The door opened and the rain stopped. Looking down into Julian's grinning face, Garak nodded, the smile barely held at bay. "I'm sure next time will go faster." With that he turned and walked away. Julian looked back to the door he had opened to see that it had reclosed and the lock changed to another variant. And then the skies reopened.

*******************

By the end of the exercise, Julian was picking locks of every description almost faster than Garak could reset the program. His grin was pure Chesire as the room around him disappeared. As Julian walked over to Garak, Garak was amused to hear Julian's shoes squish, as well as his stomach growl.

"Lunch when I dry off and change clothes?" Julian asked.

This time, Garak didn't smile as he shook his head. "Lunch later. And when you've dried off, don't bother getting dressed." They stared for a moment before Julian nodded, then turned and walked steadily toward the bedroom door, Garak watching. This was never the way Garak had imagined a first time with Julian would be. And he certainly had imagined it, and fantasized about it, and masturbated to it more times than he could remember. He shook himself mentally. You work with the moves the game gives you. It was his part of the game just now to make sure that Julian had the best sexual experience of his life.

*******************

The achievement of that goal, as it was turning out, was proving to be harder than Garak was. Focus, he told himself, and continued to move two fingers deep into Julian's ass.

Garak had come into the room to find Julian face down on the larger bed, stark naked and seemingly at ease. The lubricant had been prominently displayed beside the living sculpture. That was the moment, Garak remembered, as he felt the wet smoothness and warm tightness into which he was probing, that would have usually brought him into full arousal - just looking at a naked man ready and willing. But, obviously, it hadn't. Again, he balanced himself on his knees and used his other hand on himself. Nothing. He was beginning to feel the start of a small panic. Focus, he told himself, much as he'd told Julian. But it was useless. No matter how much he rubbed and manipulated, that dependable organ had become completely useless.

Vulcan meditation. That would do the trick. Once he relaxed, his natural sensuality would reassert itself, much as he intended to assert himself deep into this beautiful ass. But all he could hear repeating in his head was a dirty Vulcan drinking song he'd learned from a defrocked monk he'd spent a month with, discussing deeper Vulcan truths from a horizontal position.

Alright, then, what about remembering one of those sex/philosophy sessions? Vulcans were especially adept at experiencing absurdly long climaxes. Remember what it was like to be deep inside him? Whatever his name was. The problem with that was that Garak was also remembering the Vulcan chants the man was prone to sing at Garak's crucial moment. It had been funny then. It wasn't now. And it wasn't making him any harder.

"If I'm not ready now, Garak, I'm not likely to get any looser. Just get on with it, will you?"

Garak froze in place for an instant, then resumed the digital manipulation. "You're still just a little tense. Give me a few more minutes." Desperately, Garak tried to stroke himself faster but his fingers kept catching on the flaccid organ. He repeated Julian's curse and flopped down onto his back on the bed next to the man. They looked at one another, then Garak said, in what he meant to be a light manner, "You might be ready, but it seems I have a small problem."

They both looked down at Garak's limp penis. Then Julian started giggling, laughing and, finally, bouncing the bed and hitting his fists into the mattress. Eyes closed, Garak just rode it out. Let him have his fun. That ass was going to be his in the long run. It just wasn't clear how long the long run was going to be.

Just then he was startled by soft lips laying on his. His mouth opened in surprise and a tongue slid in, sucking and licking and pulling back to kiss. He opened his eyes. Julian was smiling. "If we're going to ever do this, it looks like I'm going to have to take the lead. Just lie there and try to concentrate on the mission."

"I thought you didn't want this. Do you mean I could have gotten you into bed years ago?" Garak's arms wound around Julian and his hands grabbed Julian's ass.

"No." There was no give in the word, but the smile remained. "I forced you into this and you've done everything you can to keep me alive. Believe me, I appreciate that. We're going to differ in the way we see this business but, until I get my feet wet, I'm going to accept your view of it and I'm going to learn what you believe you need to teach me. I accept your reasons for this part of the training. So give up the guilt and get this up." Julian lifted Garak's organ and, as he did, Garak could feel it start to rise. Julian's grin was extremely self-satisfied.

"I'm going to get myself off on you, so pass over the lubricant and roll over. When I'm done, you can take your turn. That is, if you're up to it by then." And, with a shove, Julian flipped Garak over onto his stomach and began preparing himself as Garak got up on his knees and got himself firmly positioned.

"Ready?"

Always the doctor, Garak thought as he nodded. Penetration was fast, deep and unhesitating. Garak had just enough breath to get out, "Computer. Scenario Three." Julian never paused but pumped as if his life depended on it. And then the three Vizaran window washers converged on the window outside the station, noses pressed to the virtual glass and watching with total fascination. Garak smiled into the pillow as he felt Julian freeze in shock.

Then, after the briefest pause, the pounding continued, but now could be heard Julian's low voice repeating "The mission. Focus." From Garak's position on the bottom, he could certainly verify that Julian was doing a bang-up job of concentrating.

*******************

"Isn't it time for lunch yet?" There was a definite tone of pathos to Julian's voice.

"Hmmm."

"You said that an hour ago."

The wiggle Julian did to stretch a leg just made Garak grip the man's hips tighter as he kept up a steady rhythm against the exquisitely shaped rump. Slow and steady. Feel every inch. Try each time to penetrate deeper. Silken skin. Slick, hot tunnel. Angle around to open it wider. And deeper.

"Lunch?" The beautiful ass in which he slammed began to sink away from him, though Garak tried to keep it up. Inevitably, and very regretfully to Garak, Julian was able to collapse flat onto his stomach.

Garak sighed deeply and quickened his now shallow strokes until, once again, that glorious feeling ran up his spine and exploded his head. He fell onto Julian's back, panting and breathless. What a body! Sweat and all.

"Finally!" Julian's voice was vibrant with relieved exhaustion.

Garak tried to press in deeper, but the position stopped him. Regretfully, he slowly pulled out, watching every inch of his organ, of which he was rightfully proud, emerge. Then he let himself fall back onto Julian. Julian rolled him off and turned to look at him. "I'm not complaining. It's as good as you bragged. But, Garak, it's been four hours and I'm sore and I'm hungry. Can we PLEASE eat and then I promise you can return to your favorite activity while I take a nap."

"How can you..."

"Easily," Julian interrupted. "I'm wiped out. I thought I was the manly stud around here, but you take sex to an art form. You have to be hungry. Rakian stew? Kalabian turnip pie? Vulcan pudding?"

The image of a steaming dish of deep orange pudding filled Garak's mind. Maybe he was hungry. He sighed and leaned over to slap Julian's rump. "Fine. Lunch. Though by now I suppose we should say late dinner."

While Julian showered, Garak busied himself at the computer. When a message reply arrived in answer to one he'd sent, Garak looked toward the bathroom, then sent back a one word answer. A deep sigh and he got up and walked over to the bathroom, glancing in at Julian who was just finishing up. "Want me to wash your back?"

"No!" When Julian made his way out, drying himself, Garak took his place, washing efficiently. It would all happen quickly now. Everything was set in motion. By the time he'd dried and gotten into a suit appropriate for cold climates, Julian was already at the table eating. A quick glance showed that Julian wasn't having one of his usual dishes. Apparently exercise upped his appetite as he was having a large bowl of Rastilian chestnuts. Not one of Garak's favorites, but it did please him to remember that he'd drugged all of the Replimat dishes instead of just the few Julian usually chose. He sat down beside the man, whose head was already nodding.

"Julian, pay attention." Julian looked at Garak curiously, eyes blinking faster than usual. "I love you. I want you to remember that. I love you. Do you understand?"

"Yes. You told me that before. I'm not feeling well, Garak. I think we need to call Medical."

"Everything's fine. I just drugged you. You'll be asleep in a minute."

Julian tried to get to his feet, eyes wide and panicked. But the drug was taking effect too fast and he stumbled, falling across the table, only avoiding falling into his dish because Garak swept it away. For a moment Garak just looked at the unconscious man, then sat him back in his chair, Julian's head flopping down. The fingers that tried to straighten the hair were gentle, as was the kiss on the top of Julian's head. Then Garak walked to the door and opened it to the man waiting outside.

*******************

Julian awoke slowly to find himself lying in the large bed in the holosuite. He was alone, but his head ached in a way it never had before. He tried meditation exercises to relieve the pain - well, more discomfort - but nothing seemed to work. Garak had drugged him, he now remembered. The bastard! Had he expected that this would stop Julian from going on the mission? And, if so, why was he still here in their spy school?

Slowly he got to his feet, struggling to keep his balance. He felt like he'd been out for days. That started the panic again. Just how long had he been unconscious? And where was Garak? "Garak!" The shout wasn't anywhere near as loud as he'd meant it to be, but the answer came back instantly.

"I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"Ready to lay you out. What did you do to me, dammit?"

"We've both been fitted with communication devices. That's why you can hear me."

The panic started up again. "You didn't put an implant in me like yours?" As if a strong wind were blowing over him, calmness filled his mind and he found himself relaxing.

"It is an implant, but it's a common Cardassian communication device. We'll share emotions and we'll be able to hear anything spoken. It's surgically inserted before a mission, and removed afterwards. I've used one dozens of times." There was a short pause. "Julian, do you remember what I told you before you passed out?"

It took him a moment, but Garak's declaration was there in Julian's memory. "Not now, Garak. This isn't the time."

"It has to be the time, Julian. I'm sorry."

And, like a wave, a torrent of emotions poured over Julian, and foremost among them, was the most intense love he could have imagined. Staggering, he reached for the back of a chair to steady himself. "Garak..."

"There's no guilt for you, Julian, in the fact that I love you and you don't love me. And there's no fault to me. The way I feel about you is a simple statement of fact and you need to accept it and move on past it. I'll control my mind most of the time and you won't have to be aware of my feelings but, when I'm tired or when I'm sleeping, I won't be able to control and you're going to have to be able to ignore that part of my emotions. That's why I'm telling you this."

"I'm reading your mind?"

"No. Examine what's in your head. You have no thoughts of mine. You have my emotions and you have my voice because I'm speaking aloud. If you stopped talking, I would have no idea what you were thinking except by the emotions you're projecting.

There was silence between them as Julian tried to process Garak's words. Alright, take it as fact. He had felt the tsunami of emotions that had now become nothing more than a mild awareness of something - what, he would have been hard pressed to know. So the damned device could be controlled. That was good to know. And having instantaneous verbal communication would be invaluable, he acknowledged. Given that it was already in his head - damn you, Garak - he could make this work.

"Confidence. Determination. And there's already a lowering of the level of emotions I'm getting from you. Two days - that's when you leave. By then, this will be as natural to you as the com unit you usually wear. Nervousness. Excitement. You're calming yourself."

The door opened and Garak entered, smiling. "I've never seen anyone handle it as well as you're doing. This is going to work out quite well."

For just a moment, Julian unleased a storm of anger and was pleased to see Garak flinch. As a doctor required to repress emotions in emergencies, he knew he had more than enough skill to keep his emotions in check, but it was nice to know he had a way of getting to Garak if it was ever necessary.

"Okay, what now?" Julian asked.

"Now we build a database of your emotional responses so that I can get a second opinion if something confuses me. The more I understand the subtlety of what you're feeling, the more likely that I'll be able to make suggestions and help." Garak walked over to the computer and sat down, glancing over his shoulder. "Why don't you lie on the bed and we'll start going thru memories that are likely to generate strong emotions. Let's start with fear. That has a good wave shape. Tell me a story of when you were afraid."

That wasn't the type of thing Julian liked remembering, but he saw the scientific underpinnings to this and did as requested, walking over to the bed and lying down. He stared at the ceiling. It took a few minutes to gather his thoughts. "I was walking with a group of boys in the woods at dusk when I stopped to pick up an interesting rock. I'd been studying geology and this one had some strange nodules. When I turned around, my friends were gone. I should mention that this was just after we'd had a campfire hour of ghost stories." He tried to find defects in the ceiling surface but it was holosuite bright and clean. "They didn't find me for three hours."

"Excellent." Julian raised up to see Garak leaning into the computer. "Keep talking."

Julian lay back. In his mind, he could again see the growing darkness and remember wondering who might be watching him from the darkness. He laughed to himself. Now there really was someone watching him, and that person would still be there when the sun came up.

"That's not fear."

Julian sighed. Okay, if it was fear Garak wanted, fear he was going to get. Along with the satisfaction of knowing that Garak, as well as the computer, was going to feel every chill down Julian's back. Where to start? Yes. Remembering that he didn't have to talk, Julian just remembered the scene. The moon had finally come out so it wasn't quite so dark. He was standing with the tree at his back to protect it, but that also meant that he couldn't see if something was coming up from behind him. He'd stopped calling because he'd gotten tired, and now he was thinking that if he called, who knows what would learn where he was. And then that small sound. A leaf rustling or a small branch cracking. In front of him, in the dim moonlight, he could see a long branch begin to bounce and two bright eyes suddenly appeared.

"Okay, we've got that. Now boredom."

At that, Julian laughed. Where to start?

*******************

"Come on, Garak, you can do it. Just once more." Julian was riding Garak's ass with desperation as he tried to bring Garak off again, as well as himself. "You are not taking this out of my head when this mission is over. And you're not taking out yours. I really hope that these have lifetime batteries because I'm intending to make really good use of them for a really long time." The words were gotten out between hard, panting breaths. "I feel everything I feel and everything you feel and it's amazing. You can do it, Garak, you're almost there. Just get us over the top."

Garak was clearly trying, but the long evening was wearing down even Cardassian stamina, and his attempts to push back were getting definitely half-hearted. Julian fixed that with a firm bite to Garak's shoulder. The rump began moving faster until, finally, it paused and an out-of-breath gasp would have told Julian that Garak had finally climaxed, if his implant hadn't burst the news into Julian's brain with extremely satisfying results for himself. They collapsed together into a sweating, heavily breathing heap.

They lay like that for minutes, Julian aware of every emotion passing through Garak. It was scientifically fascinating. The sexual pleasure, the determination, the absolute joy. And the love. He could feel Garak stirring beneath him as Julian's concern over that must have radiated down into the body below that was beginning to tense. Using the exercises they'd practiced during the day, he reduced his own transmission of emotions and, after a while, he could feel Garak relax again. With a kiss to the damaged shoulder, Julian rolled off and fell onto his back.

"I just need to get used to the idea, Garak. It's happened to me before that someone was in love with me when I wasn't in love with them, but this is different because I'm constantly aware of how you feel. Don't back away emotionally. As you said, it's just a fact that we both have to live with. I know nobody chooses who they love or who they don't love. We're going to be fine, and you have the ultimate lie detector in your head to tell you that. That's better. Now come over here and kiss me, if you've got your breath back. I like a little cuddling afterwards, as I'm sure you are recognizing."

He laughed as Garak projected pure sex into his head before leaning down to do a thorough job of letting his body demonstrate the love that was still coming through Julian's head loud and clear.

Suddenly, Julian pulled away and sat up, staring at Garak who put a hand to his head. "You can't lie to me! As long as this thing is in my head I'll be a lie detector, too! Go ahead. Pull back your emotions. Do you know that you leak out the edges of your mind. Just a little, but enough that I can still tell what you're feeling. This is wonderful!"

The little edges of emotion pulled back until Julian could no longer read Garak. He could see from the look of self-satisfaction in Garak's eyes that he was aware of this, and Julian sighed. It had been a great idea. Getting up off the bed, Julian headed for the shower. He'd been taking a lot of these lately because, happily, he'd been getting a lot of sex. "What's on the agenda for tomorrow?" It was nice not to shout and still know that Garak could hear his softest whisper. The water felt great.

"Assuming you get past the receptionist in the morning, which I now believe you'll do, you leave. Your training's over, Julian. You're ready. Transport is due out at 10 o'clock. We'll spend the time beforehand going over your go bag again."

Using the day's training, Julian closed down his own emotions. He'd have liked to have gone for a walk or played a round of tennis or just screwed Garak into the mattress, but he knew that it was time to rest. And there was nowhere far enough to go that wouldn't let Garak know what he was feeling. Well, that's what a handler was supposed to know. Purposely, and carefully, Julian lifted his control and let his emotions flow out. He was immediately wrapped in warmth and concern and trust and love. Okay. He could handle that. He went back to scrubbing himself and letting the water drain the worry away. Tomorrow he was going to become a spy. He knew he was ready.

*******************

He should sleep. He'd have to be getting up in three hours. But the room was warm and Garak hadn't been able to resist the temptation to lie beside Julian and watch him through the night. The gentle strokes on Julian's hair and face had not awakened him but, occasionally, Julian would lean his head into Garak's hand as he slept. Even a slight kiss from Garak would only elicit the beginnings of a smile. Julian slept in trusting slumber, which allowed Garak this chance to memorize a face he already knew better than his own. And in this darkness, he could love openly, knowing that love would only be recognized unconsciously and, for this night, accepted.

Tomorrow it would be Garak's obligation to put his own emotions away and only allow out what would strengthen Julian, not distract or confuse him during his mission. But, for now, Garak could indulge himself. Another kiss and he settled close behind Julian, reveling in the warmth and silky feel of bare skin. He was asleep almost immediately, the smile never leaving his lips.

*******************

Morning had come too soon, Garak thought, as he supervised Julian unpacking and repacking his bag. The smug look on the man's face was well deserved. He had finally read the receptionist correctly. She'd been looking for a little romance, and Julian had come on like Tarig, the legendary Andorian lover.

"Just remember that the next receptionist you're going to have to go through isn't going to be that easy," Garak reminded him.

"Bland statement, read micro-expression, follow positive signs. Repeat. Got it, Garak. Relax."

"I know you have it, Julian. You're ready for this. You'll be in and out in two days. Three at the most. Repetition..."

"Is what forms habit. It's embossed on my cerebral cortex by now. Don't worry." Julian picked up the second garrote. "Are you sure I need two?"

"It just helps convince someone that they've discovered all the weapons you're carrying. The garrote in your sleeve cuff lining is the one you'll use, if necessary."

Pointing to the various weapons sewn into his suit, Julian sing-songed, "Garrote in sleeve. Check. Poison button. Check. Explosive buttons. Check." When Garak started to open his mouth, Julian gestured him silent. "Yes, I know. Don't confuse them." He went on. "Lock picks in pants cuff. Check. Standard restraint release in other cuff. Check. Thin stilletto in tunic sleeve. Check. Stilletto handle in chest seam. Check." Looking himself up and down, Julian added, "But I still think you could have put a phaser somewhere in this walking arsenal. Yes, I remember. I get all the phasers I need when I overpower the security guards. I'd just feel a lot safer with one in my pocket."

The bag repacked and closed, Julian looked at Garak. "Any last minute instructions I haven't already memorized?"

"Just keep talking and let me know what's happening so I can advise you. Focus on the minimum you need to do to get the information out of there, as well as yourself. And, when you talk to Sisko before you leave, you might leave out mention of our specific communication arrangements. Just wear your com device and I doubt the topic will arise."

Julian nodded. "I don't think he'd appreciate that you kidnapped a Starfleet officer and put a device in his head."

"Probably not, but at least you understand that your safety is my priority. Your priority might be the mission, but mine is you." A short lifting of emotional control made that abundantly clear.

Julian nodded. "I'll get the data back. You just worry about getting me back." He held out a hand to Garak, who looked at it for a long moment before taking it firmly and shaking it as the handler Julian now needed him to be.

As he watched Julian leave the room, glancing around as if realizing he'd probably never be back in this particular environment, Garak knew it was going to be a long few days holding his emotions under the tight control he'd need. Well, he could probably use the practice. With a long sigh, he sat back down at the computer and began reviewing the mission planning for what must be the hundredth time. Julian was coming back safe and alive if Garak had to tear apart the universe to accomplish it. Now was there anything he could have possibly forgotten?

*******************

The trip to Eld had taken only two days, and Julian had stopped in his hotel room only long enough to throw his bag on the bed before hurrying out to reconnoiter the route between there and the government science lab he planned to visit. It was close to lunch time, so he and Garak had decided that he had a few hours before his first visit to the lab, which needed to be when everyone would be there.

"Join Starfleet and see the Universe." That might be an old slogan, but it was a true one. New races! New architecture! Who wouldn't be thrilled?

"What's happening? You need to keep talking, Julian. Remember I can't see what you're seeing."

"Sorry, Garak." Julian's attempt at casualness was a bit overdone. The suave spy should be used to this sort of thing, he decided. "Well, I'm about two blocks from the hotel. A typical city with moderate height buildings and little traffic on the ground level. Most cabs are for sky lanes. Foot traffic moderate. Most of the population is native. Very handsome physical types - humanoid, light greenish skin, hair colors variable, though most seem to be a greenish brown. From what I can see in passing, variation of purples seem to dominate in eye color. Interesting, since that would be a recessive gene in most populations. Perhaps seven percent of the passerbys are from off-planet. Enough so that I don't stand out."

"I've been there, Julian. I don't need a biology or sociology lesson. We know the distance you'll be walking. How is cover? Are any of the buildings open at both ends so that you've got possible escape routes if anything goes wrong?"

Sighing deeply, Julian regretfully turned away from the beguiling water features of the park he was approaching and turned to the entry to a large building that he could see straddled the block between the street he was on and the one on which the science lab was situated. Well, maybe it would have a cafe or Replimat. "Escape routes. Roger. Checking now."

**************

Looking at the three dimensional layout the computer projected into the holosuite, Garak ground his teeth with frustration. The map was made over two years ago and any number of changes could possibly have modified the landscape and routes they had gone over so meticulously. Julian must understand that only he could bring their information up to date. He had input the data from three buildings, as described by Julian on his walk-throughs, and noted the variations from the older schematics, but now all that he was getting over his com device was the sound of a busy fork, and loud crunching on what Garak supposed was Julian's side of Penblat nuts. Julian would rarely pass those by when they were available. The thread of emotional need, clearly hunger, was diminishing while one of contentment was increasing. It was good one of them could eat. Garak's appetite had fled with Julian's departure from the station, and it was taking all of his control to keep his impatience neatly tucked away so as not to add to Julian's anxiety. That is, if the optimistic fool had any. Happiness. Boredom. Concentration on his lunch. Garak thought he'd give him five more minutes before getting him off whatever he was sitting on and back on mission.

"You really don't know what you're missing, Garak. Fresh food is so much better than replicator meals. I saw some chocolate in a shop two doors down that I bet you'd kill for."

"Unless you want to be the first victim of my homocidal impulses, I strongly suggest that you finish your meal and return to helping me update this map. We've only got an hour left before you should arrive at the lab."

"Impatience. Annoyance. Emotion suppression. This is the best communication device I could have ever imagined. Does Miles know about it? I bet he could duplicate it and maybe even make one that could be worn and not implanted. Owwww! I'm going!"

There was the sound of a chair pushed back and then a change in the background noise. Garak got up and began to pace the same path that he'd been wearing in the floor since Julian left. He reminded himself that he should program a longer circuit that always kept him within three feet of the computer terminal. Something like a large, circular track treadmill.

"Okay. Back outside. We've got three guaranteed escape routes on this block. I'm going to try to identify one pass-through building on the next two blocks. That should be enough in the unlikely event that I need to leave quickly. But seriously, Garak, wouldn't it be better if I just got there early and spent the time trying to get the information we're after? If I'm lucky, I could get out tonight on the shuttle. Get the data and white before the shops close, and I could stop and pick up that chocolate for you."

There was not a single emotion making it out of Garak's side of the com device. Of that he was certain. When he knew that his voice would be light and pleasant, Garak explained, "We don't want you to show up while they're still socializing after lunch. Too easy for them to object to a stranger interrupting. We want you purely business while they're thinking about work. Nothing suspicious about a garrulous salesman. Annoying, perhaps, but not out of the ordinary." Amusement. Damn! Garak tightened down his emotions again. "Now, is there any obvious new construction that you're passing? And how much visible security are you seeing? When I was there, it was a quaint custom for police to wear a phaser on each hip, visible and accessible. Is that still the case and, if so, are they still the X3Js? Those tended to jam."

The rapid-fire questions had focused Julian's attention, and the information began to flow from Julian to Garak, and from Garak into the computer files, where it was meticulously organized and integrated into the computer plans. It was early, Garak admitted, but things seemed to be going well. He allowed a brief wave of approval to pass, enjoying the pleasure Julian radiated in return. This was certainly a different type of interaction than he'd had in the past wearing this sort of com. Why the last time he...

"What are you thinking about? Some old mission of yours?"

Garak's control smashed in. He hadn't realized he'd let control slip.

"Come on, Garak. I enjoy your stories. Tell me about your missions here. Two, you said."

Leaping up from his chair, Garak stood in the middle of the floor. Then he understood. "You're extrapolating from my emotions to my thoughts."

"Not that hard when you have 'Super Brain' at the other end of your emotional oozings," Julian teased. "Tell me about your missions. Maybe something you say will be what saves me later. You never know."

That stopped Garak cold, and he knew Julian knew it. And there was nothing wrong with describing at least parts of the missions. Secrecy was long past.

"Good! And I want the juicy details."

Garak shook his head in disbelief. It looked like a lot of their future conversations were going to be seriously abbreviated. Well, that could only lead to increased efficiency. What the hell.

"Exactly! Now, details."

Openly laughing, Garak checked the time. Still twenty minutes left. And it probably would relax Julian. He wandered over to the bed and lay down, looking out the window but seeing the street on which Julian was walking. Purposely he let out an emotional wash of affection, concern and trust. It came back doubled. "There was a bank two streets over from where you are now. The Obsidian Order had been using it for payroll extras and there was some suspicion that one of the bank officers was enriching himself at our expense. My job was to look into executive life styles and see if anyone was obviously living beyond their means. It was supposed to be a quick in and out job, which is exactly what it turned out to be when I realized that the Financial Officer, the most beautiful Elden female you could ever imagine, was wearing off-world fashions that were well beyond the means of anyone having to work for their living. Oh, but her taste was exquisite. The way she layered her blouse made your fingers itch to slip between the fabrics and caress the next layer down."

Oh, he had enjoyed both the in and the out of that job, and that several times, Garak remembered. His pants tightened and, mischievously, he opened them and let himself remember all the way into a full climax, com unit open and broadcasting every stroke as he described setting her up and exposing every luscious inch of her naked deceit. He was just wiping himself up when he realized that he'd used up most of the time they had. Checking the com unit showed that Julian was in the final stages of terminal frustration. Served him right for starting Garak down memory lane. Besides, Garak thought, he was really looking forward to relieving that frustration once he got Julian safely back. A lot of what Julian had been doing had been just a way to kill time so he wouldn't get nervous.

"Detail enough?"

"Not nearly! Check out shuttle times. Maybe I can catch a late afternoon one and explain that we need to Warp because I've got a medical emergency. I am so going to get back at you, Garak. Enjoy your little joke while you can. You're going to need my medical services after I finish servicing you."

"I'll hold you to that." Garak was laughing. "Now let's both calm our minds and lower our heart rates. Breath with me. Long, slow breaths. Imagine the lab you're about to visit. Picture the probable layout. Go over your cover story." He allowed Julian time to mentally rehearse. "Just let it become who you are. Now, what you need is in the next room. Are you ready to get it?"

Focus. The amusement and sex had disappeared. The man that Garak had trained was there at the other end of the com. Approval flowed out and confidence flowed back. "Let's do it, Garak."

"It's in your capable hands, my very dear Doctor. And I'm at your back. It's time." He could almost see Julian's nod.

**************

"So, there I was talking to Telli, here," Julian hugged the giggling, plain-Jane Eldrin receptionist to his side, "about our sublatean enzyme analysis equipment, and imagine my surprise when she said that you people were working with multilocus enzyme analysis. You do know that they use almost the same equipment? Well, actually, multilocus enzyme work is what really benefits from our new electrophoretic transfer protocol, which is built into the new Sytrem 80. And if I had had the faintest idea that you were going in that direction, I assure you that I would have brought along brochures of our latest equipment! It would cut analysis time in half. Minimum."

"You're overdoing it, Julian. Pull back."

A smile to the scientists around him covered a blast of the emotional equivalent of 'Shut up! I know what I'm doing.' "If you do much restriction fragment length polymorphism - say, twenty hours a week - our equipment could get that down to ten. That leaves ten hours to do the sort of fundamental research that you need to do to set up for your next generation of experiments."

"We're a classified government project. Ms Maltin should never have let you in here, and she certainly..." Tinkin, the project leader, glared at the giggling girl, who shrunk closer to Julian's side. "should not have been talking to you about multilocus enzymes, Dr. Bond."

"See if you can set up an appointment to show him your products."

"Think about saving ten hours a week, Dr. Tinkin. Give me just an hour of your time. We won't talk about your research at all. Just the Sytrem 80. And if you're interested when you let me make my pitch, I think something could be worked out about loaning you a demo model for three months that would let you see exactly why you can't let this opportunity pass. One hour. I could even give you a glimpse at the products we're planning to unveil at the All Galaxy Medical Equipment Exposition later this year. That would put you how far out in front of your competition?"

All the hours spent on micro-expressions was paying off. He almost had him. "One hour. And even if you're sure you aren't interested, maybe I could do something about loaning you a demo anyway. Just for listening to me."

"One hour." The scientist's tone moved from hesitation to certainty. "And we get the loan of a demo model for six months, not three."

"Done!" Before the man could change his mind, Julian had reached out a hand and shook the other's to finalize their deal, then slipped a brochure into it as he let go. Dedicated salesman to the end. Through the com, he could feel gales of amusement and surprise. He directed back just a hint of surprise himself at Garak's surprise. Let the super spy look THAT up on his computer graphs. The challenge of interpreting emotions was extremely satisfying, both intellectually and as a way of putting it to Garak. He let some of that out, too.

With his arm still tight around the dumpy receptionist, Julian walked her back to her desk and seated her at it with a dramatic flair. You didn't need micro-expressions to know what was going on behind those lilac eyes. He leaned down and whispered into deep set ears, making sure that his breath was washing over a universally sensitive spot. "Would you be willing to meet me for dinner after work. Just looking at you makes me hungry."

"Julian! That line went out with Vulcan sex therapists. Can't you be just a little more original?"

"Oh, Dr. Bond, I'd love that."

"Just my favorite type of girl - an old-fashioned one. Remind me to tell you all about my mother. Her name was Garak and she would have loved you." He leaned closer and let his lips graze the ear and allowed himself a small flick of the tongue, recognizing the little goosebumps that instantly arose with another deeper tongue thrust.

He was out of the office before she recovered and before one of her bosses could show up. What a lovely day. He'd even have time to pick up those chocolates before coming back for his date. Julian completely ignored the disgust coming through the com. He knew jealousy when he felt it.

**************

"I knew the first time I saw you that we could have something special together, Telli. Your eyes. Your soul shone out through those lilac orbs and spoke to me." Telli giggled.

Leaning forward in his chair, Garak said to the blank wall. "I'm going to vomit. Julian, please, just get on with asking her about the project members."

"I don't know your culture, and I might be violating something I shouldn't, so I'm going to ask your forgiveness now and hope that you'll excuse a visitor to your planet who is just overwhelmed by you. But, if you're not committed to someone..." Julian paused in horror, as if the idea had just presented itself. "You are! Of course, you are. How could someone so gentle and sweet not have already been taken. I'm sorry."

"I'm not! There's no one, I promise. You were saying?"

"Julian, no! You wouldn't!" Garak was yelling at the wall.

"I would. I'll say it. Telli, will you take me into your bed and make me the happiest man on this planet? I promise you all the gentleness and respect and passion that you deserve. I will make this a night you will never forget. One night of passion to be cherished in our memories forever?"

"That's it. You're officially, certifiably crazy. This is not one of our holosuite adventures, Julian. You're on a real mission. Keep your pants closed and remember the mission."

"For tonight, Telli, you're the only mission I have. I don't care about sales or enzymes. All I care about is what it will feel like to..." Julian's voice lowered to a whisper that Garak still couldn't avoid hearing, and which was increasing Telli's giggles no end. There was a moment of silence that Garak tried not to interpret. "Can we leave now? I know exactly what I want for dessert."

The only thing that kept Garak from shouting into Julian's com device was the fact that there wasn't a trace of sexual excitement coming through the emotions he was receiving. Satisfaction. Pride. Cold-blooded calculation. Whatever the bastard thought he was doing, he was doing it with his head and not his genitals.

"Fine, Julian. Just get in and get out. We'll talk later."

"I'm looking forward."

"Me, too, Mr Bond."

"Oh, Telli. You can't be so formal with me now. Call me James."

Garak just shook his head.

**************

Garak did remember that he'd told Julian to keep talking, and THAT the man was doing. Now, if he'd only just shut up! Garak had tried humming, tapping out the rhythm he read in the libretto to Alsky's new Klingon opera and, most recently, singing one of the parts. Only Klingons knew how to really find the passion in senseless slaughter.

"I could use a faster rhythm," came a breathless voice in his head.

Obligingly, Garak switched to the allegro part when the warrior was running toward the battle. "Better?" he asked, after the soldier fell dead.

"That's good," Julian agreed. "But I also wish I knew more about Elden biology." Frustration was coming through the com unit, loud and clear. "I so much want this to be good for you, my darling."

Garak laughed through teeth that ground together. "Can't get her off? You've only been at it half an hour. Where's that vaunted Bashir endurance?" But Garak knew that Elden females were a bit of a mystery unless you already knew something about them which, apparently, Julian didn't. Reluctantly, Garak explained, "Put your hand down to where you're working her, then feel slightly to the right. There's another opening and if you put in one finger, slow and deep, you should find what you're looking for." Another minute and the ninny Julian was riding started screaming, so Garak assumed Julian had figured it out. Male Elden organs were bifurcated. Garak had had two assignments on the planet and was well-versed in the subject.

There was a lot of faster breathing before Garak heard the noises he knew so well from Julian. Finally. Now if the insatiable Mr Bond would just get out of there, maybe they could do the planning they needed for tomorrow.

"You know," Garak mused, remembering his own experiences, "it's a good thing we put protection into your go bag. Did you know that Elden females ovulate when they come and that pregnancy is almost one hundred percent for unprotected sex?" There was a long silence, as well as a blast of horror, suddenly controlled. Hurriedly, Garak went over to the table between the beds and looked in the drawer. There was the package he'd reminded Julian to take. "You didn't read the tourist brochure they gave you at customs, I suppose. It discusses the child support obligations for off-worlders."

A wave of mixed emotions hit Garak and the sounds of Julian remounting his little darling were obvious. "Julian! Do you want to be a father?"

Julian's "Yes!" was repeated by a very happy female who, at least, wasn't giggling right now.

"Then you should know that every time she comes, she ovulates, and up goes the support cost. Elden females can have litters."

"Definitely worth it," panted Julian. Too late Garak remembered how Julian had felt at meeting his own descendants. He'd have to remind him to leave some of the mission funds or Starfleet was going to get some pretty nasty letters looking for an absent father.

**************

If he'd counted right, and he knew he had, Julian was just taking the idiot receptionist down for the fifth time. At least the sweet nothings had stopped after the second. Without the need to seduce her, Julian was concentrating on getting them both off as many times as he could. If it wasn't Julian panting in his implant, Garak might have been impressed. But, since it was, he was concentrating on not allowing his desire to strangle the man to pass out through his own and put Julian off his stride. As if anything could.

"Are you almost done, Julian? You need to get back to your hotel and get some sleep."

"I could do this forever." Julian got out between the rhythmic slaps of bare skin on bare skin. "You feel so good."

Little screams said Julian was pumping harder. At least that was better than the titters that had been driving Garak crazy for the past few hours. She seemed to have no conversation, though that didn't seem to slow Julian down at all. Determination. Concentration. And, yes, massive sexual excitement. Garak looked down at his own pants which bulged, as they had all evening. For just an instant, he allowed his disgust to leak out, then clamped down hard. Amusement. The bastard!

Finally, she screamed, long and loud. Garak stared at the ceiling. He'd heard it all before. It took another few minutes before he heard Julian's cry and then there was silence except for the breathing. Garak flopped back into his chair, unable now to avoid letting his relief show. He could see the scene as clearly as he could see the computer screen. Julian's face in exhausted release when neither of them could get up the strength to even kiss. Exhaustion. Affection. Pleading for something. Julian's emotions were wide open. Garak tightened up his own.

"Will you please get out of there and talk to me?" Everyone had their limits and Garak was approaching his.

"No. Really, Telli, I can't go again. You've taken it all out of me, you seductive creature, you." Squeaking bedsprings came through clearly. "Just lay here in my arms and I'll tell you all about me and then you can tell me about you. When we're apart, I want to be able to close my eyes and imagine you going about your daily activities. We shouldn't be two bodies that once merged in flame. We should be a joined soul that found itself in all this wide universe for one glorious night." There was the sound of an overly loud kiss, probably meant for Garak's benefit, then Julian started in embroidering the background they had created for him.

"The first thing I do when I come into work every day is get a cup of raktajino. It's a Klingon beverage that really wakes you up. Then my boss comes into my office and we decide who I'm going to see during the day and who he's going to talk with. His specialty is finance and mine is science, but some of the issues we deal with overlap both topics, so..." Cold. Calculating. Careful.

It was a minute before Garak could understand the abrupt change in the emotional signals he was getting from Julian. Then it hit. The bastard was interrogating her, and she was so exhausted and emotionally open that she was about to tell him about everyone and everything that happened in that laboratory. Waves of amused approval washed out from Garak. He couldn't help himself. He began to laugh. The image of Julian, naked, interrogating a naked woman was suddenly the funniest thing he'd seen in weeks. Garak was sure Julian hadn't missed a stroke while holding his indirect conversations with Garak, and Julian's voice never hesitated either as he told the fictional story of his day. Garak just laughed on and on.

**************

The streets were dim as Julian made his way from Telli's building to his hotel. The only people still around were the occasional security guards to whom he nodded politely in passing. "I really hope Starfleet will cover what I left for Telli on my expense account. We need to come up with some creative way to describe it."

Through the com, Julian could feel Garak's amusement, but also his tiredness and, in occasional spurts, his jealousy. "We're not a couple, Garak. This was purely business. I'm sure you've used your not inconsiderable talents any number of times to get information out of someone in bed." The emotions that had been leaking into his unit were abruptly cut off.

"Too many times." Disgust, mixed with resignation. "And rarely in a bed," Garak admitted.

"That's a shame. It's much more comfortable." Julian ignored the barely heard curse. "It's a shame you couldn't have enjoyed it along with me. If you'd been taking care of yourself during that last ride it would have been a lot more fun." The waves of jealousy blasted through Julian's head. "Okay! Over and done. When I get back, you can demonstrate just how much better it is with you." This time, the emotions were hard to pull apart. Still jealousy. Some sexual excitement. Resignation. And, appearing and disappearing as if Garak was trying unsuccessfully to control it, love. "I'm sorry, Garak. I forget." The control grew tighter. "Talk to me."

Julian had walked another block before Garak did. "It worked. I should be pleased with that."

"But you're not."

The control completely broke on the other end of the com device. Julian didn't need the words, but they came anyway. "I know you have your harem of willing females on the station, but I've never imagined you having sex and I certainly never thought I'd have to share one of your affairs so intimately. You got the information from her. Good. You can go in tomorrow and get what you need more directly because of what she told you, but I really hope, Julian, that I never have to go through that again. It's true, we're not a couple." There was a very long silence. "But I wish we were."

They didn't speak again until after Julian had entered his hotel room and thrown his clothes down on one of the beds. "Still there?" he asked, though he could feel Garak's presence in his head.

"Still here. But we both need to get some sleep."

"And I know just how we're going to do that," Julian said, taking himself in hand and lifting all emotional control, though whatever had been coming through from the other side was abruptly cut off. "I could get so addicted to this with you, Garak." His organ was a little sore from a hard night's workout, but he kept at it. "That first time you entered me. You had me on my hands and knees, and I'd been ready for a while." Slowly the emotions began reappearing in Julian's mind. Yearning. Wanting. The ever-present love.

"I almost stopped you when you were pushing in. I'm so glad I didn't." Sexual excitement mixed with reluctance. "I thought you'd give me time to adjust to you inside me, but you didn't. You were so large and so hard and you showed me immediately just what sort of pleasure I'd been missing up until then." Nothing now but growing sexual excitement. "You were lost in driving for your climax, but you were taking me with you all the way. I didn't want you to stop then and I thought any minute you'd come and it would be over. But you didn't. You just kept thrusting deep inside me until, with no help from me, you pushed me up and over into one of the best climaxes ever. And only then did I feel the hot wetness that meant you had come inside me. A real first."

This time it was Garak who came first, the sounds in Julian's head making Garak's feelings as clear as if they were in the same room and he could look over and watch. And then Julian came, letting all the power of their shared feelings bounce back and forth until, very slowly, the emotions faded away, along with their erections.

Julian was almost asleep when he heard the quiet voice in his head say, "Thank you." He grunted something unintelligible. Whatever they had to say to one another would keep until he got back.

**************

"I understand that this is a secure project, Dr. Tinkin. We have the same problem with keeping our research under wraps until we can come out with a really advanced product at a very good return on our investment latinum. By the way, I know a Ferengi who would give his left testicle to be able to invest in a project with good potential returns before it's fully developed. For a reasonable percentage, of course. So, if you are ever looking for new capital, let me know." He dropped his voice. "He gives me a cut of that return for finding investment opportunities, and I'm always willing to negotiate some 'appreciation' off that cut for anyone helping me find some good opportunities."

Since Tinkin's personal finance problems had taken up a good bit of Telli's office gossip, Garak had to admit that this approach was working better than anything he would have probably learned through more direct means. The approval flowed outward but only continued concentration came back. Julian was doing brilliantly.

Leaning back in his chair, Garak let the technical issues flow past him while he's studied the voices. Not suspicious. Simple technical discussion with Julian sensing nothing that made him nervous. If Garak didn't know better, he'd think the person he was handling was an old hand at this.

For more than two hours the discussion ranged back and forth - some technical and some, significantly, financial. Julian was right. He was the only one who could have done this. That thought must have leaked out because Julian was exuding pleasure. But a closer analysis made him realize that Julian was also exceptionally focused and, as Garak was getting used to seeing now, stone cold. Sitting up at full attention, Garak listened for the background noises and the relative strengths of voices to gauge where people stood in the room. There. A small sound of glass. Probably equipment. Julian was getting close to some action and didn't need any distractions from Garak. The control came down hard and Garak's attention never wavered.

A small crash. "I'm so sorry, Dr. Tinkin. Inexcusable clumsiness on my part. Let me wipe that off." There were sounds of people moving around, more apologies, and sounds that might be cleaning up. The emotions coming from Julian were wide open and completely concentrated on what he was doing. This was the move they had talked about. Distract and sleight of hand. If Garak guessed right, Julian's pocket now contained a good amount of ketracel-white.

It was all Garak could do to hold in his own emotions. Julian needed total concentration if he was going to succeed with the next stage.

"Oh, certainly. I was just dusting off your keyboard. I am so sorry. Maybe I could get a wet cloth from the bathroom. Over there? Thanks."

That meant he'd managed to affix the computer copying device. It was hardly larger than a spot on a page but by now it had already hacked in and downloaded the entire computer system. Julian's only problem would be retrieving the physical dot.

"Both of us need to stay calm, Garak." From the echo, Julian was inside a small place with no sound-absorbing acoustic material. Probably tile. The sound was barely to be heard over running water. "I could either try to get it back immediately, or let some time pass so as not to draw attention to that part of the table again."

"Get it now. They think you're clumsy. Use that and let them throw you out." The sound of the water stopped and a door opened and closed. Garak could almost feel the tension in Julian's body. He could feel the focus.

"I've got a wet cloth. Just let me wipe that up." A resounding crash and shattered glass, shouts and screams throughout the room announced that Julian had at least succeeded with the distraction part of the plan. Now if he'd just gotten the data intercept dot.

"What are you doing? I said I was sorry. Give me that back." Absolute panic was coming through the com. Garak leaned forward willing Julian to communicate what was happening. "I don't understand why you're pulling my clothes off."

"Yes! Keep talking!"

"Radiation? Why would there be radiation in an enzyme analysis lab? Okay, let me take them off myself. Wait, where are you putting my clothes?" The panic was gone. In its place was total despair. Then the sound of running water as Julian was scrubbed down.

Garak got to his feet and started his never-ending circling on the new treadmill. Julian was all right. He hadn't been discovered. He'd lost everything he'd come for, but he was alive. A stream of misery filled Garak's mind and he realized Julian had felt everything Garak had been projecting. He stopped and closed his eyes. "It's alright, Julian. It's a minor setback." Garak made sure his controls were tight shuttered. "The trick now is to get you out of there and back to your hotel. We'll come up with a new plan. Just brazen it out. Ask them for clothes."

"Thanks for the towel. Now if I can just get something to wear."

The other voice was much fainter, as if he were across the room. "I've already sent someone to your hotel."

Apprehension, but a casual tone. "I haven't unpacked yet. Could you contact them and ask them to just bring the whole bag? And is there somewhere I could wait that wouldn't be quite so embarrassing? I imagine you don't get to usually see quite so much alien anatomy." A laugh seemed to be Julian's answer to some remark Garak couldn't quite make out. But the level of nervousness Julian was projecting seemed to be decreasing.

"I probably should have mentioned earlier, Julian, but Elden society is primarily male-male sexually. The female fertility problem."

"Thanks, Garak." Julian's low-voiced mutter was hard to hear. "That explains my new found popularity. There are two bulky guards who are following me into the place they want me to wait whose eyes are glued to my not so private parts."

"Just don't bend over."

"Thanks for the unneeded advice." Louder. "I said thanks. This will be fine. Please, don't make these gentlemen wait with me. I'll be alright until my clothes get here." A murmur in the distance. "Well, if you insist. Hello. The name is Bond. James Bond. And you are?"

For the next fifteen minutes, Garak listened to Julian attempting to keep the curious guards from making a close examination of his strangely colored and shaped genitalia. Julian had found a PADD to hold on his lap in a chair he'd appropriated, and was attempting to turn the conversation to sports. Both guards seemed to have few interests in team sports unless Julian was suggesting a group grope, which Julian was attempting to firmly make clear was out of the question. The relief in his voice, as well as through the com, when the door opened and someone appeared with his bag, was almost equal to Garak's.

"The pale green suit has a duplicate armory to the one they burned, Julian. Wear that."

But before Julian could do more than unzip the bag, the door opened again. The voice was that of the same security official Garak had heard earlier, but there was no friendliness in the voice at all now. "The computer system's been compromised. Search him thoroughly. If he's hiding anything anywhere, I want it. After that, he's yours. I'm going to get Tinkin. Bond spent the morning with him and I want to know why.

Full scale panic. Garak put his own panic deep under mental controls that fought to be released. "You said the dot was burned with your clothes. They have nothing to charge you with. Keep up the story that you're a victim of your own clumsiness and they have nothing they can legally charge you with."

There was the sound of a desperate struggle and Garak stared at the wall as he maintained his even tone, his hands clenched into fists. "I'm right here with you. Body cavity searches aren't pleasant, but just imagine that it's my hands that are touching you. Close your eyes. Just feel the calmness I'm sending you."

"Don't bother, Garak. They're both dead." The tone was cold and the link confirmed the focused determination and lack of guilt.

Garak stopped himself before more than a trace of his relief seeped out. "Good. Pale green suit. And don't forget the phasers."

It was a few minutes before Julian said, "Done. There's a second door here that's locked. It goes to a back hallway, if it matches the floor plan we have."

"What!" That same security official's voice was loud, but so were the two phaser blasts.

"What's going on, Julian? Talk, dammit!"

"Dr. Tinkin is here and so is a large container that has ketracel-white in it. I'm taking them both with me."

"You're faster without him."

"Yes, but with him I can salvage something out of this debacle. Stop fighting me, Tinkin. You just watched me kill two men and there are two more dead on the floor. If you don't want to join them, then shut up and let me get this on you."

Julian would be restraining him, Garak knew. "Hurry up, Julian. Even if the scientists don't have the guts to investigate, those blasts are going to bring someone. Get to the hallway, second door on the left to stairway, then right toward your hotel. I have someone waiting for you in front of the building as backup. I'll move them to the back to pick you up."

Control was out the window. He and Julian were both projecting every emotion but neither was noticing. Their entire focus was on successfully moving past each obstacle as it presented itself. The sound of the door opening and running. Panting breaths.

"Garak, there's already a security contingent coming from the direction of the hotel. I can't go that way. Dammit. And after all the time I spent figuring out escape routes. There's cover in that park I saw and it's starting to get dark. I'm heading that way."

While Garak listened for any alarm from Julian, he ran to the computer console and began punching up data. It was several minutes before he stopped. "Computer. Replace program with Scenario Twenty-three."

Instantly, the bedroom disappeared and Garak found himself at the top of a tall cliff just as he heard Julian cursing in his head.

"Garak! The path just ended at..."

"I know. I've replicated your position here, but I've got full light and can help you. Can you still see the path?"

"Yes. Not very wide. We're going to have trouble making it down."

"You still have Tinkin with you?"

"He's blubbering, but he's not going anywhere except down. I've got the ketercel-white. I threw it into my bag and"

"You've got the bag!"

"Yes, but I can't get down the path holding it and Tinkin. I'm going to take the white out and..."

"No! The straps of that bag can be turned into a backpack. Do that now." Confusion but no hesitation.

"Done."

"Head down the path immediately. I'll send your backup to the beach below. He'll pick you up. Go! I'll pace you here."

On two cliffs, two long journeys down a steep and crumbling narrow path began. Julian's way was harder as the erosion of the past two years had changed the cliff face in ways that Garak's didn't reflect. Julian pushed Tinkin ahead of him, ignoring the occasional scared gasps and continuous panting coming from the out-of-shape Elden. When he'd try to pause, Julian would jab him and, once again, the man would take step after trembling step.

"I don't suppose I want to know how far down we still have to go."

"Probably not. Have you reached the switchback yet?"

"No. But the path just started leveling off."

"Then another fifteen feet. Once you make the turn, the path will widen out and you'll be able to sit and rest." As Garak listened to Julian and Tinkin navigating the last part, he stepped to the edge of his own path and looked down. Still perhaps three hundred feet to go, the path winding back and forth and looking exceedingly narrow from up here. Julian should be grateful he didn't have to see the view Garak had. Directly at the base of the cliff were sharp rocks but also deep water that could be heard rhythmically smashing onto the rocks. It was going to be a slippery and dangerous trip across them and to the boat, which Garak assumed would be as close as safety permitted.

"Sit down, Tinkin. Catch your breath. Garak, we're on the ledge you described. Are you hearing anything from your people about the search?"

"You'd hear if I heard," Garak reminded him. "Last report before I started down was that the search was concentrating near the spaceport. Assuming normal search patterns, they should be finishing..."

"Just about now. We need to make some plans. Stay here and don't move." That was to his climbing companion. After a minute, Julian's voice returned. "I've backtracked a little ways up the trail. We'll rest for ten minutes. How long do you think it will take us to get to the bottom?"

"Maybe two hours. You can manage that with your eyes closed." Actually, Garak thought, the time was closer to four hours.

"That bad?"

"The instant you get back, that com unit is coming out."

Incredible sadness. "There are some things I want to talk to you about, Garak. I was going to wait, but maybe this might be a good time."

"I'm not listening. Rest. They're going to think about searching your location eventually."

Resistance, then deep weariness. And then acceptance. Like a curtain rising, Julian's controls lifted and Garak leaned his head back against the cliff where he now sat, too, and let Julian's calmness fill him, though he didn't dare let his own emotions out. It was just so peaceful after the stress they'd been under.

**************

They hadn't rested more than ten minutes when a spotlight startled Julian, and that instantly alerted Garak.

"They've found us."

Garak could clearly hear a rumbly voice in his head, made mechanical sounding by a bad speaker system. "Stay where you are and put your weapons down." Julian pulled Tinkin to his feet and raced faster than prudence dictated. Prudence be damned. Just then Tinkin squealed and started to pitch forward. Julian grabbed him and pulled him back. A few slow steps showed that the path was eroded away and a quick light on the spot showed it was a good fifteen feet before the path continued.

"Garak, we can't go on. The ledge is gone. Are there any other ways down?"

Garak stared in frustration and disbelief at his own perfectly solid path. Two years of erosion. How could he have any idea what the rock face actually looked like now? "Shoot the ships down. Don't give them time to call for help. That will give you time to backtrack and we'll make another plan."

Immediately could be heard a steady and even sequence of phaser blasts, followed by explosions. "I missed one." There was surprise in Julian's voice, as well as heavy breathing. "That damned spotlight has us again." Another phaser blast and suddenly a loud explosion. Julian screamed.

"Julian. What's wrong? Julian!"

It was perhaps two hellish minutes before the agony in the com unit diminished and Garak could finally hear Julian's shaking voice. "The ship was turning and I didn't get the shot I expected. Some fragment must have hit the cliff above me. It got my eye. I'm blind, Garak."

"We have to surrender. They'll kill us."

"No one is surrendering, Tinkin. Shut up or I push you off this ledge myself. I don't need eyes to do that. Garak, any ideas? This would be a good time for some alternatives."

"Then you're lucky to have me for your handler, because I have one. You still have the go bag, right?"

"It's been a royal pain all the way down but, yes, I've got it. What magic trick did you stick in here and not tell me about?"

"Actually," Garak said, attempting lightness and confidence, "it's not in the bag. It IS the bag. Feel in the middle and you'll find a hidden seam. Unzip and the bag will split into two parts. There's a parachute and a reserve chute. Didn't really expect you'd need it, but as long as I was coming up with clever gadgets, I thought, why not?"

"Why not, indeed?" Through the pain, Garak could feel Julian's confidence returning. They laughed with the sheer absurdness of it all. "I suppose you realize that I've never used one, and I'm assuming neither has my friend here."

"Not a problem. I'll talk you through it. Remind me to tell you of my first flight down into a dormant volcano. First get the reserve chute onto Tinkin, then get yourself into the main one. You push off hard from the cliff, soar with the birds, if any are still awake, and take a warm, refreshing bath until the boat reaches you. The important thing to remember is the rocks. You need to kick off hard. Both of the chutes are meant for gliding, so you shouldn't have a problem. Is your friend athletic?"

"No. And I'm guessing he weighs close to 300 lbs."

There was a beat of silence. "Then we do have a problem. He's not going to fit in the reserve chute. It's rated for five pounds over your weight. You're going to have to leave him and jump alone. Even blind, you've got the co-ordination to easily get past the rocks. Run your hand along the bag handle and you'll find a small light you need to carry with you. Once you hit the water, it will guide the boat to you."

The stillness was long enough for Garak to realize that he was getting nothing through the com from Julian. "Julian! Tell me you heard me." Nothing. By concentrating, Garak could just tell that Julian was still there. Still alive. Thinking, obviously. "Julian! No! You aren't giving him the main chute. There's no safety margin on the reserve. I won't chance it."

A very quiet voice spoke in a tone that Garak had always hated. Implacable. Unchangeable. "The spy in the field makes the decisions, not the handler. Who taught me that? The mission must be completed at any cost. That was another thing you taught me. Well, I have here the very things needed to make this mission succeed. The reserve chute will probably work. Fine. Then I run the project when we get back to the station. And if this doesn't work, then someone else at Starfleet will run it, and they can dedicate whatever they publish to me. But this mission will succeed, Garak. And you're going to help me make sure that happens."

There was dead silence between them as Garak locked down every emotion and mentally raced through possible scenarios. Julian's blindness was leaving them with very few options, and no good ones.

It was a long time before Garak lifted his emotional controls and let out the ragged despair and love. "If I say no?"

"I do it anyway. But I'll have a better chance if you help."

Again the silence. And then resignation. Garak felt some fear coming from Julian, but mostly determination. He would see this thing through and Garak was left with no choice.

As always, Julian knew. "Thank you." The rush of love almost stopped Garak's heart. "Now let's get this bag taken apart and reassembled. What do I do first, Garak?"

**************

It hadn't taken all that long to assemble both chutes. Tinkin wanted to stay exactly where he was, but Julian was having no part of that. Whether Julian made it safely down or not, Tinkin was the prize he might be giving his life for. Julian had recognized the mission was dangerous before he started. This was just how the game was played. And Tinkin was nothing but a piece on the board.

Garak had described how to tell the two chutes apart, the main chute and the reserve one, and how to get into them. Blind, it had been a bit of a struggle to force Tinkin, but he'd finally gotten the man into the main chute. Now the problem was getting him to jump into nothingness.

"This design has been in existence for hundreds of years. It's like being cradled on a puff of air. Do you have amusement parks on Eld?" At Tinkin's squeaked, "No." Julian continued, "Well, forget that analogy. Just remember that you have to push with your feet against the rock and jump out as far as you can. This chute is made for long distance travel, so you'll probably have to wait for the boat for a few minutes. I assume you can swim."

"Not for years."

"It's just like riding a bike. Bike? Never mind. Now I'm going to count three and you're going to jump. It's that or I shoot you. Which is it going to be?"

It took another few minutes to get the trembling man positioned on the ledge, his eyes closed so that he was blind like Julian. On the count of three, and with the help of a strong shove, Tinkin jumped. His scream could be heard all the way down. Julian collapsed against the rock wall, breath coming fast. "The next time I say I want to be a spy, remind me of this night."

"I will. I promise." Garak's fervor came through the com loud and clear.

Julian laughed, surprised he still could. "What a day!"

"Indeed."

"I don't have long, but I really need to tell you some stuff before I jump." The night was getting cool, and the sound of the waves breaking on the rocks below was calming.

"Tell me when you get back."

"You know it's unlikely I will get back." Picking up the package of ketracel-white, Julian ran his hands around it. The container was some type of plastic and seemed well sealed. If he was very lucky, it would be waterproof. Sifting among the items on the ground, Julian found some tape and attached the signal lamp to the package. Pulling on it, it felt as if it would hold. He'd turn it on at the last minute so as not to provide a target if any new ships had honed in on where the old ones had been destroyed. "I'm taking the white down with me, and that will take up the reserve weight and more. Let's hope that the manufacturer was being overly conservative."

"Then leave the white, Julian!"

"If this mission is to have any meaning at all, I need Tinkin and the white to get to Starfleet safely, Garak. I didn't send it with Tinkin because I didn't want to lose both if something happened."

"You could stay on the ledge and throw the white down. You know I'll get you out of there."

"I haven't the slightest doubt of that. But the package could get destroyed on the rocks. Coming down in a chute will give it the best protection."

"But not you."

"That's why Starfleet pays us the big gold-pressed latinum bricks. Or, rather, why they ought to! I've attached the signal light to the package, Garak. Make sure your man picks it up."

A breese sent a chill through Julian and he turned up his collar. A little cold, a few more minutes. It was a good tradeoff. For those minutes he just drifted in the emotions Garak was projecting. No fear. Just admiration and love.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" Garak asked, finally breaking the silence.

A smile crossed Julian's face, unseen in the dark. "Remember when you said you wished we were a couple? Well, I've been thinking about that, and I think I would have liked that, too. You put me through hell, Garak, and you took me to heaven. I think I would have really enjoyed being with you."

"You don't have to say that just because I love you."

"No, really. I think I could have loved you."

"Well, since you're going to be back here in a few days, what would you think about moving in with me?"

That set Julian laughing. "Your place or mine?"

"Your choice. Though your quarters are larger."

"Mine then. But no more than half the closet! I know what your wardrobe is like."

"I'll be moved in by the time you're back on station."

"I really wish it could happen." Julian reached for the package, preparatory to standing up, but his hand bumped first into the small box of chocolates he'd bought for Garak. What the hell. It was only another pound. Another quick, but fullsome, wrap of tape and he had it attached to the package of white. He got to his feet.

"I'm going to jump now, Garak. I wish we could turn our coms off. I really hate putting you through this." He took another long lungfull of clean, cool and salty air.

"You don't want to be alone now, Julian. And I wouldn't want you to be."

The warmth took away any chill from the night. "You aren't open like I am."

"You don't want all of my emotions just now, Julian. Not my worry for you or my fears. Just take my love."

Even though he knew he couldn't be seen, Julian nodded. Garak would know. Carefully he taped the package to his body and stepped to the edge of the path. It was a beautiful night. One last deep breath, and Julian spread his arms and leaped from the ledge, pulling the chord as he'd been instructed. The jerk as the chute expanded surprised him and he waited for his weight to collapse it. At least it was lasting long enough to get him past the rocks. He hadn't wanted to land there.

But the chute didn't collapse. The air whistled past his face and he soared into the glorious night. "It's holding, Garak! It hasn't broken yet!" For all the sports he'd enjoyed, hang gliding had never been among them. If he survived this night, Julian promised himself a holosuite script to beat all others. He could feel Garak's joy and it just made the flight all that much better.

His blindness meant that the only way he knew when he was approaching the water was by the increase in the sound of the waves and the taste of the moisture in his mouth. And then, suddenly, he was down and struggling in the water. All of those kayak upsets with Miles were finally paying off. Julian was comfortable in extricating himself from the harness and positioning himself to let the signal light be seen. A nearby shout said that he was almost safe. The burst he threw at his com was almost overwhelmed by Garak's return.

Hands dragged him into the boat and he panted his thanks. Then a darkness deeper than his blindness filled his mind and the world stopped.

**************

"What should I do now, Mr Garak?"

Garak opened his eyes to find himself standing in midair in the holosuite. He'd leaped with Julian, but the program wasn't about to let him kill himself. Julian's emotions were completely gone from his mind. "He's alright?"

"Fine. I gave him just the dosage you said and he's out like a light. Lucky you had me put it in with my supplies. Anything else before I head for shore?"

"Yes. Destroy his parachute. Did you see where the body landed?"

"Splat that made! He's on the rocks."

"Use your phaser. Make sure nothing's left. His reserve chute, too, has to be completely destroyed. I don't want Julian ever knowing that Tilkin came down in the reserve and Julian came down in the main one."

"Got it. We still meeting on Jantee Four?"

"The hospital. I should be there when you arrive. Keep him comfortable, but keep him sedated."

"Will do."

In his mind's eye, Garak could see Julian lying in the boat. The blindness worried him. "Computer. End program." Without a glance around the now bare room, Garak hurried out.

**************

"Is he awake yet?" The nurse just leaned into the room, whispering.

Garak, who had been lying in the hospital bed beside Julian, shook his head.

"Let me know when he wakes up. The doctor wants to look at him right away. You know your partner is pretty famous in this hospital. We'll take very good care of him." And, with that, the head disappeared.

Garak continued to stroke Julian's hair. The advantage of such an out of the way hospital like this was that they were rather lax in their rule enforcements. But their medical reputation was first rate, the reason he'd chosen this place to take care of Julian, as well as to remove the com link. That had required a small behind the scenes arrangement and wasn't listed on Julian's medical chart.

A slight movement caught his attention and his hand froze. The one eye that wasn't covered with a temporary bandage was blinking. "I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by Morn in a full speed collison on the Promenade." Suddenly realizing that he was lying beside someone in an unfamiliar room with an open door and a low buzz of voices outside, Julian started up. Garak pushed him back down.

"You're in a hospital on Jantee Four. Damage to your eye has been repaired and they expect no future problems. The bandage can come off whenever you want it to." As Julian raised a hand to his face, Garak cautioned, "The doctor did say he'd prefer to be here when it's removed." Reluctantly, Julian let his arm fall back.

"I can't feel you."

Garak replied to the literal statement with a quick kiss. "Removing your com unit at the same time was the conservative thing to do." The nod Julian attempted resulted in a look of pain. "The doctor also said that you'd have headaches for a day or so."

Just then, the nurse popped back in for another check. "You're awake, Dr. Bashir," she said, stating the obvious. "Your partner has been so concerned. I'll get the doctor right away."

When she was gone, Julian looked Garak up and down. "Partner?"

Garak's smile lit the room. "You did agree to our moving in together."

"I also thought I was about to die."

Garak's smile vanished and he started to sit up. "I'm sorry."

Julian stopped him with a hand. "I'm the one who should be sorry. You saved my life with all your preparation. But, Garak, I really don't have a good history for long term relationships. The one with Leeta was the longest I've been in. Do you really think it's smart for us to move in together?"

That deserved another kiss, a little longer than the last. "Instead of my moving in with you, and it getting awkward when you want me to leave, why don't you move in with me and you can just remove yourself whenever you want?"

"Dr. Bashir!" Julian pulled away from Garak as if he'd been caught in flagrante delicto. "No, no. It's fine for your partner to be here. We're so pleased to have you here. Not that we were glad you were injured, you understand, but I've wanted to meet you ever since I read one of your papers."

While the two switched into medical technical babble, Garak slipped off the bed and out into the hall. The man who had picked Julian up out of the water was sitting in a chair leaning against the wall, his phaser only noticeable if you knew where to look.

"We'll need transport to the space dock in three hours. After that, your work is done. Debt paid. In fact, consider it now my debt to you." The man nodded and punched a communicator. He'd never been much of a conversationalist, but Garak remembered a number of times when the man had had his back.

In the room, the jargon continued and Garak settled into a chair in a corner and closed his eyes. He was asleep before he knew it.

**************

The hand that shook Garak awake was seized by the wrist, but it instantly twisted in a hold Garak had put great effort into teaching and left Garak on one knee off the chair. The smile on Julian's face was well worth the pain. Garak got to his feet. "I take it you passed your medical. When can you leave?"

"Now, except I promised to spend the next hour talking with a few of the doctors who want to know more about some of the research I've been doing lately."

Glancing at a clock, Garak smiled. Fifteen minutes to spare. If he knew anything, he knew his Julian. "We'll leave for the shuttle as soon as you're ready. Captain Sisko was kind enough to insist I take one to bring back the station's chief medical man. Who was I to turn him down?"

"Where is Dr. Tinkin? Already onboard?"

Garak took a deep breath. This was going to be the hard part. "He's dead. There's some thought that his lines twisted or that he didn't pull the right cords. I'm sorry."

The blow showed on Julian's face. Then he brightened. "But the ketracel-white, we've still got that."

Garak reached beside the chair and pulled out a flat, water-soaked package attached to a light and a small box. "It's probably got some traces left. Again, I'm sorry. This smaller package seems intact. Maybe that will have enough for your sample?"

There was more than a trace of irony in the look Julian gave Garak as he unwound the masses of tape with which he'd attached the box before holding it out to Garak. "Chocolates."

As Garak shook his head, Julian started laughing. "It's not funny, but this really wasn't the way I imagined this mission going. Either when I came up with this idea, or when I flew off that cliff. Oh, remind me, you and I are going to start hang gliding as soon as I can get a holosuite program going. I wasn't a very good spy, was I?"

Gathering him close, Garak just held him for a minute before whispering in his ear. "Missions are what they are. This one didn't work. But you gave it everything you had. Well, maybe not everything." A hand slipped down for a quick grope under the hospital robe.

"I don't think I ever mentioned that once you come off a mission, you still have a great deal of adrenaline you need to work off. The advantage of a private shuttle is that you'll have a lot of privacy to work it off in my ass."

"I miss knowing what you're feeling."

Looking into Julian's eyes, Garak said quietly, "You don't need a com unit to know." And in their kiss he proved it.

"So there we were, making like rabbits against the window in one of the medical supply rooms when this small shuttle craft flies by. I'm concentrating on what I'm doing, but I can see over her shoulder that the pilot's seen us. He waved, so I waved back. Luckily, she had her back to the window or I'm sure that she would have stopped me then and there and, oh, I was so not ready to stop."

Garak laughed and encouraged Julian to continue. "That can't be all the story or you wouldn't be laughing so much. What then?"

"The shuttle flies back, turns around and keeps a parallel path to the station right beside the window. Only now there's a crowd leaning into the cockpit, pointing and laughing."

"I trust that you didn't let that distract you."

"Not a stroke. I will admit that I was a bit worried for a moment, but Starfleet trains us to adapt to the unexpected."

"Excellent preparation. I might have been a bit off my game in that situation. I presume you made Starfleet proud?"

"Twice! And once she started coming, she didn't stop till we were through. I will modestly admit that I was at the top of my game."

"And the shuttle?" Garak was really laughing now.

"The pilot held up a sign, when I was done, that read 7/10! It was a 9 at the least!"

"And your lady friend never guessed that she was the star in a pornographic production?"

"Not at all. I only hope that no one on that shuttle recognized her from the rear. I've noticed a few people giggling as we pass, so I'm afraid the story is getting around."

It was only recently that Julian had begun sharing his sex life with Garak, at the latter's insistence. What had been normal conversation with Miles, seemed awkward at first with Garak, but Garak had been a fascinated audience, and Julian did enjoy remembering some truly historic personal events. He'd tried cleaning up the stories, but Garak had insisted on every detail and he was certain that they'd both ended up with uncomfortably tight trousers on several occasions.

It suddenly occurred to Julian that in his enjoyment of his own recitations, he had neglected to provide an audience for his friend. And Julian really was curious to know just what that long, thick organ that Julian occasionally observed professionally or by accident had been up to over Garak's fabled career. He would definitely make a point of asking.

The turbolift arrived at the Promenade level and Garak and Julian got in, only to be followed by a crowd that had just gotten out of the Bajoran services. Just as the door was about to close on those still waiting, two more slipped in and the lift started up. It was a very slow local, stopping at every floor for people to work their way out and more to come in.

Julian was still thinking about his lady of the shuttle when he realized that what he was being smashed back against was a very large and hard erection. Discretion, as well as politeness, said not to indicate awareness, and he tried to subtly move away. This didn't win favor with the large man directly in front of him so, sighing, he allowed himself to be pushed back onto Garak, who emitted a somewhat strangled sound.

For the rest of the ride, he was aware of being pushed back and forth onto Garak until the man rested his hands at Julian's waist and proceeded to complete the process Julian had inadvertently started. A large sigh on the back of his neck told him he'd just been dry-humped by his best friend. A giggle started, which he couldn't control, even after the man in front looked over his shoulder in disapproval. All he could do was shrug and try to clamp his lips together.

"I'm afraid that the rear of your pants is going to need some attention, as well as the front of mine," came a soft voice from behind. "There's cleaning supplies in my quarters. May I suggest we adjourn there?"

Sure enough, another exchange of passengers let in a breese that confirmed Garak's observation. They both burst out laughing and exited at the next floor.

"I really am sorry," Garak tried to get out between breaths of laughter. "I've never had anything like that happen before, I swear."

Julian was trying to look over his shoulder to see how bad the damage was. "Don't worry about it. I've been soaked with worse."

It took only a few moments for them to strip off the stained garments, and Julian collapsed in a chair and watched as Garak applied the cleaning material to both, then waved them in the air before hanging them in front of an air vent. He came over and collapsed in the other chair. They looked at one another and started laughing all over again.

"You know we look ridiculous sitting here fully dressed from the waist up and in our underwear from the waist down?" Julian was still having trouble stopping the occasional bursts of laughter.

Pointing at Julian's shorts, Garak observed, "Teddy bears?"

"It was a gift. And a very kind one."

That started them all over again. Worn out and in good spirits despite the mishap, Garak took advantage of Julian not being able to walk out on the conversation to explain yet again why Julian needed to expand his casual wear choices. Julian, in his turn, countered with a range of possible exercise routines that he could design for Garak. Both conversations eventually faded into silence.

Julian broke it first. "You're bi-sexual, aren't you? I have seen you look at women though, more often, you turn to watch slim, young men in good physical condition."

A slow smile from Garak reassured Julian that the subject wasn't off-limits. "Far be it from me to eliminate half the population of possible partners simply because of the shape of their natural genitals. I've never understood your limiting yourself so much."

"When I work my way through the available women on the station, I'll think about it."

"I admit that, given a choice, I prefer male partners. You play tennis. I have sex. I'm certain that we're equally exhausted at the end of our games. There's a different kind of pleasure when you bring your full strength to the game and end up in a wrestling match that leaves you either on the bottom or the top. One of the few truly win-win scenarios." His smile was very broad.

"You like being on the bottom or the top?" This was actually the first time Julian had had this type of conversation with someone and he was finding it fascinating.

"You're only familiar with the top position, so you can see the advantages to that." Julian nodded. "I love the sight of a well-formed ass. Rounded cheeks that cry out to be grabbed and squeezed. That lovely dark tunnel in which I can lose myself, body and soul, and still have my head perfectly free to watch what's going on. The sight of myself disappearing and reappearing." Garak came back from his mental trip and shook his head. "You know."

Julian did. He found his throat was a little dry and he noticed that Garak's tight undergarments and his own teddy bears were bulging. Garak seemed to be unconscious of the fact that he was stroking himself lightly. Politeness said to look away, but Julian found the sight compelling.

"You can't imagine what the bottom position is like until you've been there. An absolutely amazing feeling. It has been so long..." Garak voice got softer and less even as his hand kept moving.

"I have wondered what it would feel like," Julian confessed, his own voice none too steady.

"Someday, if you'd like, I'll show you." Something in that image must have gone deep into Garak because he came suddenly. Panting, he collapsed back in his chair and let the air cool his lightly sweating body.

Julian's breath came fast. The casual sharing was startling and he was sorely tempted to let Garak do exactly that, or copy Garak's solution and release. But Julian did nothing but sit and watch Garak, curious to see how this different level of their relationship would develop. But the image of that face in climax was permanently imprinted on Julian's brain. Slowly his curiosity grew and his own erection subsided. His voice was low as he asked, "How long has it been since you've been with someone?"

"Actually, a few years," Garak admitted, sitting back up and looking down at his lap as though just realizing what he'd done. With a smile that held no embarrassment, but great warmth and intimacy, Garak got up and went to the closet, where he stripped off his underwear and stepped into a new pair.

"Years? That's not healthy! How often do you take care of yourself. That's a serious medical inquiry, so no smart answers."

Garak turned around, shaking his head. "I don't." At Julian's pointed glance at the discarded underwear, Garak shrugged. "That was completely unexpected. But very pleasant."

"Nocturnal emissions?"

"Maybe once every few weeks. Are we finished with these questions, Doctor?" Garak went over to check on the state of readiness of their trousers and to order drinks for the two of them.

"Yes. Except that I really want to see you in medical. I'm just realizing that the only time I see you is for emergencies, not for your general health." Garak got into his pants and handed Julian his, as well as a large brandy. "And I want you to start masturbating at least once per day. Twice would be better."

Garak choked on his own drink. "I'm not going to..."

"Yes, you are. Doctor's orders. You've just proven you're able to perform solo, so take your medicine like a good little patient and call your doctor in the morning. He can't wait to hear all the details."

"Or we could just arrange to meet more often in crowded lifts," Garak suggested sarcastically. "That seems to work just as effectively. Shall we say lunch in my quarters at rush hour? Of course, we could always just ride up and down until my problem is solved and then go to the Replimat for lunch."

"My rump is not going to always be around to solve your problem. But if we ever get caught like that again, my ass is yours. In the meantime, I expect you to take care of your problem or you're going to have a number of very uncomfortable tests in your future."

"Once a day, you say."

"Twice would be better." Julian looked at his glass appreciatively, and sipped. "Good brandy." A little more of this, Julian thought, and he just might get the image of Garak up his ass out of his head.

*************

A week had passed before Julian saw Garak again. His friend had seemed to always be too busy for lunch. For his mental and physical health, Julian hoped that Garak might be busy following his doctor's prescription. He had certainly been taking his own advice. Looking up, Julian saw Garak hesitate in the upper level entrance to Quark's. "Garak! Over here." A wave and Garak made his way through the tables and stuck out legs that formed a small obstacle course. A waiter who knew them well dropped off the appropriate beverages before Garak was firmly in his seat.

"So, how did it go? I've been looking forward to getting my update on your condition. Details! Have you been following your doctor's orders?"

Garak just looked disgusted. "I never realized the extent of your prurient interest in the topic."

"You should have," Julian cheerfully told him.

Shoulders slumped, Garak nodded. "I should have." He straightened and drank down half of a very potent brew, then put the glass firmly on the table. "I seem to be having a problem. While my technique is considered outstanding, it seems not to be working as well as it used to. Or even as well as it did just the other day."

"No erection or no ejaculation?"

Garak finished the rest of his drink in one swallow. "No erection."

Leaning back in his chair, Julian stared at the ceiling for a minute then looked back at Garak. "I assume you tried pictures or video."

"Nothing works. Limp as the preka noodles you're thinking of having."

"How did you... Oh, it's Thursday. Quark does have the best sauce with those, doesn't he?"

"About my problem..."

"Yes. What about remembering some of your earlier experiences? That's one of my favorite inspirations. A nice buxum school marm, or well-endowed stud? There must have been times you really enjoyed some wild rodeo rides."

"Your vocabulary seems to have enlarged. What are you reading?"

"Miles lent me some old westerns. I'll pass them on to you when I'm done. Come on, tell me about one of your best rides." He perked up. "Or maybe I should tell you about one of mine. That's probably what did the trick last time."

Two hours later, Julian started running out of stories and the waiters were making themselves obvious. Waving Garak ahead of himself, he headed toward the lifts. It was a moment before he realized that both levels of the Promenade were full. Curious, he made his way down the stairs, Garak at his heels. They had gotten only a few shops from the stairs when the change in tone from the crowd said something was about to happen.

An aisle was opening down the middle of the Promenade and security guards walked on either side of a small, dark-haired woman in blue robes. "That's Kestin," Julian said excitedly as Garak pulled him back into the doorway of a closed shop. "I forgot that she was coming today. The concert must be over, and I missed it. I really wanted to hear her."

As the crowd was pushed back against the walls, Julian realized that he was being rubbed against by a very large, very hard organ. Apparently, Garak's problem was no longer a problem. Sighing, he planted his feet firmly and attempted to ignore what was going on behind him as Kestin passed by, only dimly to be seen over the heads of the crowd. A clutch at his waist and a large expulsion of breath said that they'd be ready to go as soon as security would let them. He only hoped that he wouldn't have to get his pants cleaned again.

*************

"There! All out." Garak examined the previously stained area more closely. "Well, mostly out. This cleaning liquid isn't quite as good as what I have access to. I'll remember to give you some of mine."

While Garak hung their pants on the chair in front of the air vent in Julian's living room, Julian downed his second adult beverage and watched as Garak settled onto the other end of the sofa. If he wasn't to run through his whole wardrobe, they needed to find out why Garak could only get himself off in public, though Julian's initial diagnosis was flaccid organ defect due to trying too hard.

"So you react to dirty stories. We can work with that. I have some experience advising on sexual dysfunction. We might start with you describing to me your favorite encounter. And, if you do find yourself reacting, don't worry about having an audience. I'm a doctor."

"You do realize that you enjoy danger, I hope, Doctor. You sit here in your underwear suggesting I try to become sexually excited and yet you don't worry that I'll be successful and decide to relieve my frustrations in your very beautiful ass."

"I thank you for the compliment and, no, I have no worries of that whatsoever. I'd trust you with my life. Do you doubt that I'd trust you with my ass?"

"Remind me someday to kiss you."

"If it's appropriate, I will. But, right now, doctor's orders. Sit there and show me that a good tale - that's T-A-L-E, for the backward - well told, won't give the appropriate results."

"You're just looking to get turned on yourself."

"I'm a professional, Garak. This is what I do." Julian grinned. "Great job, isn't it? Now enough. Story time. Your best sexual experience, and I want every wet, thrusting detail."

The recital took over half an hour and, by the time Garak was through with his description of seven straight orgasms in the ass of a man he'd bumped into on the street, and whose name he'd never gotten, Julian had finally managed to relieve his own frustrations under a throw pillow. He seriously hoped that Garak's fabled cleaning solution worked just as well on velour as it did on Starfleet trousers.

Garak, however, showed not the sign of a bump, much less a bulge. He'd managed to tell his tale with drama, humor and even a touch of the tragic as he described trying to find the man the next day and failing utterly. But excitement? Not a jolt.

They shared a look and Garak shrugged apologetically. "All right. Reminiscing doesn't seem to do it. Let me try one of my holobooks."

"I doubt they're more explicit than mine."

Julian poked his head up from under the sofa where he was rooting around. "You're familiar with yours. You might find mine more exciting because they're different." He triumphantly held up a battered book that had obviously had numerous views. "Let's see you stay limp while Pecos Pete and Bronco Bill get to know the new school marm." At Garak's look of complete incredulity, Julian waved at the book he'd handed Garak. "Try it." He settled in his corner of the sofa as Garak shook his head, then turned on the book.

Two minutes and no reaction. That wasn't human! Of course, Garak wasn't. But still! Julian slid over to Garak's side of the sofa and looked over his shoulder. Oh, that was an especially good part. And Garak should love it. While Pete was schooling the school marm, Bill was doing a job on Pete. Julian pulled over his already stained pillow and settled in for some serious watching, as Garak put his arm around Julian and held him close against his side until Julian finished. When he had his breath back, Julian checked Garak's underwear. Dry as a Vulcan desert. And flat as one, too. If Pete and Bill and the school marm couldn't do the trick, Garak was in serious trouble. He slipped out from under Garak's arm and settled back into his own place. This took serious thought.

"It's really not important, Julian. I've been celibate for years."

"But then you weren't having it off on my rear end. What do you think happens when you come up against some stranger sometime? You could get yourself seriously damaged and it would be my job to put you back together again. No. We figure out now how you can take care of business purposely and privately."

"Why does that look on your face make me very nervous?"

"It shouldn't. Just keep remembering that I'm a doctor. Show me your technique."

"I assume you're kidding."

"No. I'm quite serious. Take it out and show me how you do it. I've taught courses in this, Garak! I'm sure it's just something with your fingering. Or maybe you're in a bad position where your body is too strained to be able to keep its attention where it should be. Now, out with it."

Garak's smile was amazing but, obediently, he pulled his organ out of his underwear and began stroking himself, his eyes never leaving Julian's. Julian limited himself to occasional, purely professional glances. But no matter what the strokes or how Garak handled himself, the result was the same. A large drooping organ that looked incredibly sad in Garak's hand. Finally, Julian couldn't watch any more. "Maybe you need something to drink. Let me get you a kanar. That might relax you. Just keep it up. It's going to work."

Getting to his feet, Julian knocked his pillow off the sofa and bent over to get it. When he straightened and turned to toss it back onto the sofa, he realized that Garak was smoothly massaging a massive organ, the strokes coming faster and faster. "You did it! I knew you could. That's marvelous!" Frozen into place, Julian tucked away every motion that he didn't recognize for later close investigation. Science never sleeps. At last, with a cry, Garak came. And came. And came. Then collapsed, boneless, head back and eyes closed. A quick calculation told Julian he had just enough solution left to clean the rug. But what the heck. A rug versus a medical breakthrough? No contest. He sat down beside Garak and wiped him off with the dry part of Garak's underwear.

Garak opened his eyes and smiled his thanks, before hesitantly asking, "Would you mind kissing me?"

That stopped Julian cold for a moment, then he realized that it was what he would want when he'd just climaxed, so leaned over and shared a kiss that deepened until he was lost in lips and teeth and tongue. Garak pulled away and smiled at him. "It was your ass." Julian made no connection and it showed on his face. "I got hard as soon as you bent over. It appears that what turns me on is your ass." He leaned back and kissed Julian again until they were both hard and breathless. "And this." Garak leaned in for one more massive kissing session. Garak pulled back again. "Are you willing to turn over and let me demonstrate how fully functional I am now?"

Rationality slowly returned to Julian's sex-befuddled brain. This wasn't what he wanted. Scrambling, he extricated himself from Garak and stood beside the sofa, breath coming fast. Garak looked devastated. Julian shook his head. "No." Simple and certain.

After a moment, Garak nodded. So softly Julian could hardly hear him Garak said, "I didn't think you would. Not this soon." A deep breath and a broad smile. "But at least now we know what works. If you..." He stopped, then started again, "I don't suppose..." He stopped again, got up and went to get himself a drink, then flopped back down.

Julian sat on the edge of the other end of the sofa. "Go on. I don't suppose what?"

"That you'd let me have a picture of it?" Garak looked positively mortified asking.

It took a moment for Julian to understand what "it" was. He smiled in relief. Considering what he'd been afraid Garak would ask for, that request was easy. "Of course."

There was no chance to expound further on the scientific utility of sexual images because Garak had jumped up, pulled him to his feet and pushed on his back to bend him over. Reminding himself what Garak COULD be doing right now, Julian stared at the floor, examining the stains. Behind him he could hear Garak doing something with his PADD. Then there was a rush of cool air as his underwear was pulled down over his buttocks and more small noises behind him. Then his head was pushed down further, his legs pulled apart and Julian felt a hard organ touching him where one had never been before. He started to jerk upward but a firm hand on his back held him down. "Just pictures. I'll be done in a minute."

And it was a full minute before Garak had completed his portfolio of images. A pat on Julian's bare buttocks said he could get up now and Julian pulled up his underwear and turned around to watch Garak holding his PADD close to his nose and whizzing through images that Julian hadn't seen outside of some of his more explicit books. Sighing loudly, he got his pants off the chair and put them on.

"Are you going now?" Julian asked as Garak wandered toward the door, not replying. He sighed. So this was what being a sex object felt like. He was really going to have to think about the topic.

*************

Julian had managed to avoid seeing Garak for a week but, finally, he had no more excuses and had arranged to meet Garak for dinner at Quark's, as it less lent itself to tete-a-tetes because of the noise level. Knowing that pictures of his naked rump might be Garak's solution to sexual dysfunction was disconcerting, to say the least. All week, when he was alone and had the chance to relax, his mind kept picturing what Garak would be doing in front of those images.

And the images were appearing on his mental canvas at the most inopportune moment. Like the other night with that lovely communications officer. Though he had to admit that the images in his mind had made him harder than usual, and he was pretty sure that when he came he'd been heard in the surrounding two apartments.

And then last night, out of purely scientific curiosity, he'd tried masturbating to the image. He was lucky he could still put his pants on over his poor, abused organ.

"That looks sore."

Instinctively, Julian looked down at his lap, then up at Garak's cheerful face.

"Your hand. You're holding it unnaturally. Did you bash it into something?"

Whisking it under the table, Julian waved Garak to his seat with his left. "Nothing important. So, how was your day?"

That smug expression spread across Garak's features. "My evening was amazing. Problem solved and your prescription is turning out to be excellent for my health. I'm sleeping better, eating better and feeling years younger." He leaned across the table so that he could lower his voice. "I thought that if twice a day was good, more would be better. At least six times a day, and once nine! If you're as good with your other patients as you are with me, this must be the healthiest station run by Starfleet."

"I'm glad for you," Julian choked out, grabbing for the drink refill the waiter had just brought. Emptying it in one long swallow, he indicated another since his throat was burning too much to talk. This was obviously some of Quark's stronger stuff.

Once the man was gone, Garak pulled his chair closer to Julian's. "The memories this is bringing back. I had a reputation you wouldn't believe back on Cardassia. Five minutes in a bar and I knew who I could go home with." He looked around the room, and leaned even closer. "See that Andorian over in the corner?"

Julian nodded. He still wasn't sure he could talk.

"He's interested in me but convinced that you and I are together. I could go over to his table and walk out of here with him in under two minutes. And he would be very good in bed. There are some Andorian tricks that I remember..." A deep sigh and Garak turned his attention back to Julian. "I'm not bragging now, but if you ever have a choice of lovers and one is a Cardassian, choose that one. We're trained in sex and let me tell you about having ridges in the right places. It's really a shame you don't enjoy men. You don't know pleasure until you've had a ridged penis ream you inside out."

Their dinner arrived just then, along with Julian's refill, which he emptied as fast as the last, holding up two fingers to get a start on the next rounds. The room seemed a little close and Julian found his breath hard to catch as Garak spent the next hour describing a series of sexual encounters that made him wonder how Garak had ever had enough time or energy for the spy trade, while bedding most of the men whose paths he crossed. Eventually the stories wound down.

"But you haven't eaten anything, Doctor. Are you feeling alright? Doctor, heal thyself. And I know just how you ought to do it. Take your own advice and spend an evening... But I forgot. You injured your right hand. It's never the same with the other one, is it? Well, when you've got your grip back will be time enough. While you're recovering, I'll send you some inspirational material to get you ready. I never did loan you any of the more erotic Cardassian novels, did I? I have a holobook that you'll have to read one-handed because the other one will be very busy the entire time."

Staggering slightly, Julian got up from his chair. "If you'll excuse me, Garak, I really need to get to bed."

Garak got to his feet, as well. "I've inspired you, haven't I? Excellent. We'll go by my place first and I'll get you that book." He led Julian out. "Don't thank me now. I'll meet you for lunch at the Replimat tomorrow and you can tell me how much you liked it then."

Julian just closed his eyes so that the room wouldn't move with every step and let Garak work his will on their path. With luck, he'd be asleep before they even got to Garak's.

*************

Half an hour later, Julian was still awake. The book Garak had insisted he take had been thrown on the bed when he came in, and he'd fallen on it after he'd changed to his pajamas. Curiosity had forced him to just flick the book on and the images of the first paragraph had opened his eyes as he'd thought nothing could. Five paragraphs later, he gotten up and forced down a dose of instant sobriety, immediately swearing to himself that he had had the last drop of alcohol he would ever drink. Then he'd returned to his bed, the book, and abusing an organ that had had nowhere near enough time to recover. If you believed that pictures didn't lie, Cardassians were the sex athletes of the quadrant. He stopped reading long enough to come again, gingerly wiped himself off, and went back to the book. It was going to be a long night.

*************

Stuck in the back of the crowded lift, Julian stared in disbelief as Garak got on and, seeing Julian, smiled broadly and pushed his way to the back. Julian carefully stopped him and positioned him to stand directly in front. He'd just gotten these pants back from the cleaner.

The smile Garak gave him over Garak's shoulder was radiant. "Still working perfectly," he whispered, making people turn curiously.

"I knew that shirt design was good for my body shape," Julian got out. "I'll be by to pick it up as soon as it's ready."

Garak smiled in understanding and turned back to the front. Two more stops and then a large group of people entered, shoving everyone back. He caught his balance on Garak's hips only to realize that he had suddenly developed the erection of all erections and it was desperately trying to get into Garak's clothed butt. He could feel Garak freeze and then, not looking back, shove his bottom back so that Julian was suddenly sweating. Slowly he pushed against the firm globes, glancing around to see if anyone was watching. No one was, so he pushed a little harder. This went on for another stop and then, suddenly, he felt the rush of semen through his organ and, unable to stop himself, came high and hard. The lift emptied and he and Garak were alone. Garak turned and looked down at Julian's now soaked pants. "My place or yours?"

*************

"Thanks." Julian took the pants and put them on. "I'm really sorry..."

"Don't apologize. I understand completely. We're just lucky I've taken to carrying cleaning materials. Your place was much closer. Do you mind?" Garak indicated the bathroom.

"You don't have to ask." Collapsing on the sofa, Julian leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about what had just happened.

Garak came out, putting his PADD away and headed for the door. "Check your messages," he said and was gone.

Picking up a PADD on the adjacent table, Julian brought up new mail. Indeed, there was one from Garak. He started laughing and couldn't make himself stop. The PADD, and the image of Garak's butt, fell to the floor.

*************

"So, there I was kneeling on the bed between the legs of the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and NOTHING! Not a quiver. We both tried for almost a quarter hour and I can guarantee that there will be no second date with her. NEVER have I failed so spectacularly." If misery could be personified, Julian was it.

It didn't take any psychological sophistication to recognize that Garak was barely able to keep himself from grinning. "My deepest sympathies and great relief that I can say I was never in that situation."

"Wrong sex?" Julian asked, then waved a hand. "Forget that. But you haven't heard the worst part of the story." Garak leaned further forward on the table. "After she left, I started thinking and I went and got my PADD and brought up your photo..." The confession ended in Garak's sustained burst of laughter. All around the room, people were looking at them. Julian busied himself with his cake and tried to ignore the onlookers, who got quickly bored and went back to their own conversations.

"I am honored to think of my ass as inspirational. We seem to be quite a pair." The smile slowly faded from Garak's face and they stared at one another. "It seems we have a mutual problem here." He placed a fork in the middle of the table and tapped it. "Either you're attracted to me or..." Garak placed a spoon next to the fork and tapped it, in turn. "You've developed a general interest in men or, more specifically, their rumps."

"I see naked asses all day long. It can't be that. It has to be you." Julian's tone of voice didn't make his conclusion sound very positive. He brightened. "But there is a way to test it. You come in to see me tomorrow and I'll give you a thorough checkup. If you don't turn me on when you're on the table, then we'll know that it's men. Whichever way, you get the checkup I've been wanting to give you and, if we do end up in bed together, I'll know I won't be picking up any unpleasant diseases. No, don't object. You know that thing of yours has been in a lot of places you probably wish it hadn't been."

"Unfortunately, true. Alright. Tomorrow, medical. Right after the shop closes?"

"Fine. Now eat your cake before I do."

*************

"Spread just a little further apart." Julian's voice was strictly professional.

Keeping a smile fixed on his lips for the bored male nurse leaning on the wall, Garak obliged, head down on the table and rump high. Something very metallic and cold invaded a space that should only know hot, wet objects. With some effort, the smile never faltered. After what seemed like endless and thoroughly unnecessary probing, the metal tube was removed.

"You can sit up now."

While Julian turned to examine whatever it was he'd found, Garak managed to rearrange himself. He didn't bother covering himself, trying another smile on the still bored nurse. Garak didn't want to think how many of these examinations Julian must perform every day. Spying and tailoring both had their bad days, but not every day and not so... The brilliant conversationalist found himself at a loss for words when thinking what Julian must be looking into every day.

"All good, so far. Now lay back and I'll be through in just a minute."

As Julian started to lean over Garak's genitals, Garak could feel himself hardening. Julian moved around the table to block the view and continued his examination. It seemed to involve a lot of unnecessary stroking that Garak was afraid was going to embarrass both of them very soon. If he wasn't mistaken, Julian's face was a little redder and his breath a little fast.

"Turn over." A hand ran over his buttocks and then a gloved finger went up his ass. Garak maintained his cheerful aspect with the nurse while Julian's finger moved in and out, then came out for good. Julian pulled his gloves off and threw them away. "You can get dressed now, Mr Garak. I'll be back in a few minutes. Gaber, why don't you give Mr Garak some privacy."

A raised eyebrow was all Garak could do to express his opinion that he would have appreciated that privacy a lot more ten minutes ago. But bureaucracy would always win out over rationality. After getting dressed, Garak sat on the side of the table but, when Julian didn't come back immediately, eventually laid back down and counted tiles on the acoustic ceiling.

It was another five minutes before Julian returned, red in the face and out of breath. "No doubt now. It's you. Come on, let's get out of here. I need a drink."

*************

"It's not so bad, Julian. You're going to be surprised how much you're going to enjoy being with me." Garak's smile was spotlight bright.

"There was this incredible woman I had my eye on in engineering. And now she'll never know what it would have been like."

"Hopefully your friend of the other evening will never tell her, so your reputation should stay intact." That deserved, and got, a dirty look. Garak smiled back. "We're going to be great together. Just give us a chance. One hour from now you're going to be having the best sex of your life and you'll wonder what the worry was all about."

"What if it doesn't work out? I don't want to ruin our friendship over sex."

"So I break your heart and we come here to Quark's and you tell me all about it, like you always do. Only then we'll have been together long enough that maybe you'll let me kiss it and make it all better." Garak reached out a hand and took Julian's. "I've wanted you from the day I first saw you, and I don't care what eventually happens between us. I won't regret a single minute I spend with you. And I don't intend to let you regret it either."

"I liked your book." There was a growing mischievousness in Julian's eyes.

"Oh, you're going to like the real thing so much better," Garak promised. "I have planned our first time for months. By tomorrow morning you are going to be very sore and very happy and very tired. And I am going to be your lover."

"Why an hour? We can be upstairs in three minutes." The optimistic Julian was beginning to reemerge, to Garak's relief.

"Because we're going to spend that hour fooling around and kissing and learning what each of us enjoys. The sex is going to be great, but it needs to be more than that for me. And I think for you, too. So, for the next hour, you can play with my ass to your heart's content, but no riding my range until the hour's up. Then my ass is yours for as long as you want it."

"You asked to be reminded."

"To kiss you. I remember." And leaning over the table, Garak did.

“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” The words kept repeating through Garak's head as he stormed away from the Replimat. All the effort he had put into staying pleasantly casual in his dealings with Julian and, once again, he'd lost his temper. He knew exactly what he should have said. “You're very kind, Doctor, and I'll be sure to call you if my headache gets any worse.”

"I should have stayed," Garak told himself, closing his eyes, partly with frustration at his own behavior and partly at the pain behind his eyes.

“Watch where you're going!” The words and the impact of the Galipotan bulling his way down the middle of the Promenade told Garak, as nothing else could, that his order had arrived. Preventing himself from taking the man to the ground and watching the life drain out of him, Garak forced himself to relax tensed muscles. Just as he should have stopped himself from yelling at Julian.

For a moment he was tempted to go to the freighter dock and claim his merchandise. Or he could turn around and find Julian and apologize. Instead, Garak reversed direction and headed to his own quarters. People would just have to do without a new dress shirt for another day.

Lights that had always been too bright now blazed through his eyes and splashed themselves into fireworks on the back of his skull. It was getting impossible to pretend that what was going on was just another temporary adjustment to the implant. Something bad was happening and, regardless of the cost and the potential danger of bringing himself to the attention of the Cardassian authorities, it was time for a more drastic approach.

Two things – find a replacement implant, and find some medical professional who could exchange the one killing him with that replacement.

Surely someone could get him what he needed. Even if the model woven within his brain wasn't used anymore, there would be at least one available on the black market. It might bankrupt him but of what use would the money be, if he were dead.

The operation. Garak had been avoiding thinking about this for the last few months. The idea of someone not a Cardassian playing around inside his head turned him cold. Garak knew how little information on his species had been allowed to filter out of the Empire. It was considered information that could be used to create bio-weapons.

Garak had, himself, killed two different men who had profited from the sale of Cardassian medical information. Maybe it would be possible to find out if they'd been part of a cell that might still be operating. That was a thought to come back to later. Always assuming that there would be a later with this skull-crushing pain. At this point, he admitted silently, he'd put himself into the hands of a veterinarian.

It was no wonder that Julian had pulled away from him again. If he weren't forced to live with himself, he'd be tempted to leave, too. Well, the way his head was feeling, he might just be leaving permanently. Action/reaction. Planning/Contingency. How was he expected to think things through when he couldn't even think?

Julian had been long-suffering and had tried to be understanding through all of Garak's explosions over petty annoyances. And the more uncomplaining the man had been, the more Garak had tried to blast apart his calm and make him react the way Garak felt. Stupid! Just how was that going to bring Julian back? It wasn't, of course. Garak just found his control slipping over and over again. He, who prided himself on control.

And it wasn't even the lack of sex between them at the end that had driven Julian away. He would have waited, if Garak could have controlled his constant irritation at the smallest thing going wrong. Garak knew that. But it seemed as if Garak needed to drive the good doctor away and, finally, he'd succeeded. Now he was right where he wanted to be. Alone. Alone to use his hypo-spray whenever he needed it. And now was when he needed it.

Reaching his quarters, Garak hurried to the drawer where he kept the triptacederine. His hands were shaking as he shoved an ampule into the injector and pushed it into his neck. The minor pain of the shot was as nothing compared to the easing that almost immediately flooded his body. He let the hypo-spray fall to his desk and moved quickly to a chair while he could still sit with control, and not just collapse. Blessed relief. It wouldn't last long a distant twinge warned him but, for now, it was enough.

“The desk. Second drawer.” The words repeated in Garak's head as he stared down, listening to the sound of the drawer being opened and objects being moved about.

“I should have recognized it.” Julian's soft words pulled Garak out of his numbed state.

“How could you, Doctor? I made it myself. For all you knew it might have been a remote control to turn out the room lights.” He watched Julian's hand poised over the switch. “Turning it off is not going to work, Doctor. All you're going to do is condemn me to a slow death instead of a quick one.”

“You don't know that, Garak.”

“Of course I do.” The desperation in his own voice was obvious even to Garak. He let out his breath in a long sigh. Control. “I'm sorry, Julian. I know you want to help. But sometimes it's better to just let things proceed to their natural ending.”

Julian came around the desk, and put a hand on Garak's arm, squeezing tightly. “You don't want to die, Garak. You're the tough one, remember? You'll get through this.”

“Am I, Doctor? Will I?” Garak leaned his head against Julian's shoulder. They stayed like that for minutes.

“You'd die for me. I know that.” Julian whispered softly. There was only the slightest movement of Garak's head. “So live for me.”

It was so like the man, Garak thought. Always believing there would be a better outcome than reality should have taught him to expect. But wasn't that part of what Garak loved about him? That Julian would face insurmountable odds with the supreme confidence that he would prevail. And though Garak knew that this was one fight Julian couldn't win, what did he, Garak, have to lose? Pain! The word screamed in his head. Garak forced it back down. What had he trained himself for if not to stand fast. He didn't really have anything he could leave this man he loved. But if his slow death was what Julian needed in order to know that he'd tried everything, then that was something Garak could give.

It was a moment before Garak straightened up. Leaning forward, he kissed Julian lightly. “If you need to try to save me, then try.” Julian's hand reached toward his badge, but Garak stopped him. “Just promise me one thing. When it's over – when you have to give up – promise me that you'll be there holding my hand. Swear.”

Julian's return kiss was much harder – determination rather than triumph in his voice. “What I'll promise is that I will be standing in front of the gates of hell to make sure that you don't go through them. You are not going to die, and we will get through this together.” At the supplication in Garak's face, Julian added, “And I promise that if you do die - which you won't - mine will be the last face you see and the last voice you hear and the last touch you feel. Now can we get the hell out of here and get you to the Infirmary?”

At Garak's nod, Julian finished his motion, slapping his com badge. “Bashir to Ops. Medical emergency. Two to beam to the Infirmary. Energize.”

He'd known that Tain was the one who'd put the implant into Garak's head. And now he knew where Tain was. The Arawath Colony. Now he had a place to go. He'd found the navigational maps and should have no trouble getting there. The problem would be not getting blown out of the sky when he got there. But he was determined to get the answers out of Tain if he had to shake the whole Cardassian Empire to do it.

Forgiveness was well and good for Garak's peace of mind. They'd forgiven each other a hundred times before and, if Julian had anything to do about it, they'd forgive each other a hundred times more. But everything depended now on his saving this man - this love of his though, if Julian had his way, Garak would never know the hold he had on his soul.

What really scared Julian was that there was always the chance that he would be held up too long. The whole trip was a gamble, and that warm hand that he had held could become cold in death before Julian ever made it back. The thought was agony.

Fifty-two hours. That still gave him two days to be back here in case one last hand-hold was all he could give. But if he had to choose between trying to save Garak and letting him die alone, then to hell with promises. To hell with compassion. Garak had had his hand held. It was time he had his life saved.

He glanced around at the empty room, then leaned down to kiss the sleeping man, letting his tongue part the lips so that they could share breath, warm and regular and, oh, so familiar. “Please,” Julian begged the deities to whom his friends prayed, “let him still be breathing when I come back.”

A last squeeze of the hand, and Julian turned away. He had work to do.

“Especially the lies,” Julian repeated. “Now what exactly does that mean?”

“It means, my good Doctor, that I've always found truth to be more interesting when clothed in fantasy. Haven't you?”

“No.” Julian's answer was flat. “I like plain and simple answers. But, then, I'm a plain and simple man.”

“Hardly. A plain and simple man would never have gotten in to see Enabran Tain.”

What a glorious mate! There was no way he could have chosen better. Beneath that beautiful face, perfect hair and hard—muscled body lay a heart that an Elian courador would have envied. In a world of betrayal and deceit and despair, Garak had chosen to love a man of honor and loyalty. How his father would have laughed.

His father.

Garak looked down at his plate for a moment, then back up. “You promised that when I got out of the Infirmary you'd tell me about your visit.” He waited. When Julian didn't answer, Garak prodded, “What did you think of Tain?”

“A bastard.” There was no smile that accompanied the bald declaration.

“Well, of course, Doctor. But a magnificent one, you must admit.”

“He's no friend of yours, Garak. Or do you prefer 'Elim'?”

“Oh, he told you that, did he? I'm surprised. What else did he tell you about us?” Garak was not really expecting to have been acknowledged as a son but, as usual, hope had its own way and could not be controlled.

“Nothing, really. Just that he wished you a long and miserable life, surrounded by people who hate you.”

A shadow crossed Garak's face before he could control it. Hope was ridiculously overrated. “How like Tain. Forgiveness is not part of his character. Oh, well, I suppose I should be grateful that he was willing to help give me that long life.” Garak looked over at Julian's plate. “If you're really not going to finish that pudding...”

“Garak! Forget the pudding.” But he shoved over his plate as he said it. “We really have to talk. I said once that honesty was important to me and that's not what I'm getting.”

“Excellent,” Garak said digging the last bit out of the corner of the dish. “You will remember that you also said that we would still have our secrets.” He settled back to his stew. “Some of us simply have more secrets than others. You, my dear Doctor, are practically an open book.”

Julian coughed. “Yes, well, I still want to hear more about your past. Whatever you can tell me.”

Images of bodies and fires and explosions whipped through Garak's mind. He refrained from shaking his head to get rid of them and applied himself to his lunch. “If it's important to you...”

“It is.”

“Then perhaps we could start tomorrow evening. That will give me time to filter out the stories that really can't, even now, find their way to the good Constable.” Julian had the grace to look embarrassed. “And I need to talk with you, too.”

Reaching across the table, Garak took Julian's hand in his, a move that sent Julian's head rotating to see what people would think of this strange move on Garak's part. He tried to pull his hand back, but Garak was determined. “I want to make our relationship official. Thanks to you, what was driving us apart has been corrected, and I think it's time that we eliminate one secret from both our lives.”

“Marry me?”

Ignoring the shocked sarcasm in Julian's voice, Garak got up from the table, smiling broadly and still holding Julian's hand. If his dear Doctor was going to walk into a verbal trap, then why not let him? The ever-present mischief rose joyously. “I'm almost speechless, my dearest Doctor. I was only proposing that you move in with me, but marriage...” He interrupted Julian as he began to splutter. “I need to think about this. It would be a huge step for both of us. Marriage! We'll talk tomorrow.” And with that, Garak was gone.

Julian sat there, hand still in the air and stared at the Promenade down which Garak was rapidly disappearing. Throwing back his chair, and ignoring it when it fell to the floor, Julian ran from the Replimat calling, “Garak! Wait!” But Garak had already vanished. Running a few hundred yards further on, Julian looked into shop doorways, but Garak was nowhere in sight. Turning in a wide circle, Julian took a deep breath, then headed for Garak's quarters. This had to be straightened out. And quickly!

“I'm sorry. I was just getting dressed. Come in.”

“Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you since last evening. We have to talk, Garak.” Moving past the man, Julian turned to face Garak as the door closed behind him. “You got the wrong impression. I wasn't proposing marriage, whatever you thought you heard me say. That's just not the way I feel about you. And I've been trying to tell you that all evening and half the night.”

Julian watched a series of expressions pass over Garak's face, ending in his publicly pleasant one. “Of course. An unfortunate misunderstanding. Consider the matter completely forgotten.” With a wave of his hand, Garak opened the door and indicated the way out. “Please don't let me keep you. I still have a few things to do before I go to work.”

Tempting as it was to run, Julian mentally gritted his teeth. He knew when he had hurt someone and he knew his obligation to make amends. “I'll wait for you. Just let me get a cup of tea while you finish up.” So saying, Julian turned around and stopped, staring into the once familiar room. Behind him he could hear the door closing and Garak's loud sigh.

Moving past him into the room, Garak stopped and looked around as if just seeing it for the first time, himself. “One never knows when the redecorating instinct will strike. I'm afraid that the Infirmary gown's horrible colors became too much for me to bear and I felt the need to surround myself with a more subtle pallet.”

Subtle it might be, but it contained all the colors of a dying sunset. The ceiling lights had been modified so that the colors were more restful, the predominant room color now a range of blues, rather than the harsher reds and pale greens. If Julian could have stood back from himself, he might have been shocked to see how well his Starfleet uniform fitted into the color scheme. But the lights were the least of the changes.

Gone was the center bed that Julian had tended through a long night. Instead a mirror stood before the window, behind which could be seen a bed much like his own, but positioned to look out at the surrounding space and the occasional ships moving to and from the space station. The mirror visually enlarged the space, reflecting back an immense sofa done in the exact shade of mauve that showed at the neck of Julian's uniform. Throw pillows in the uniform's turquoise blue invited the viewer to relax and perhaps enjoy the bowls of holobooks and music that were positioned on each of the end tables. Separate spotlights lit the corners of the couch so that one could easily read without having to brightly light the entire room.

Julian turned to stare at Garak, unable to think what to say. Without a doubt, this change was meant to make the space comfortable – to make it a home – for one person. Himself. “Garak...”

“I know. But, really, I did it for myself. You know that I was complaining how sterile these spaces are. Well, I decided that if I was going to have to live out my life here, then I should put as much effort into designing the space in which I live as I do the clothes I wear.”

That would have been more believable to Julian if a short walk to the bed hadn't revealed it to be a comfortable double one, with pillows neatly arranged side by side. The closeness of the window almost made him feel as though lying there would be like lying in space, itself.

“I do so dislike feeling cramped and crowded. I took your advice about the sofa but I came up with this arrangement as a way to keep the open feel of the room. I'm sure I'm going to enjoy sleeping here.”

Julian turned back from the window and let his eyes wander over the space, noticing two desks pushed together against a side wall so that the users could look up at one another when not working. He glanced at Garak, who had followed his gaze. “One desk for my tailoring. Additional space if I'm working on something else.”

If it weren't so early, Julian would have been tempted to order something stronger than the tea which he walked over and got from the replicator. “Tarkalean tea. Extra sweet.” The drink came out at his exact preferred temperature, and Julian took a long swallow before sitting down in what he was certain was his corner of the gigantic sofa. “We're not getting married.”

Garak brought over his own cup of tea and settled at the other end of the space. “Exactly what I had decided myself.”

Indicating the room, Julian asked, “Then why all this?”

Garak looked down at his cup for a moment before finally meeting Julian's eyes. “I hoped that you might want to move in with me now that this...” He tapped the side of his head. “has fixed the problem that pushed you away.”

Julian's cup of tea required his undivided attention for a full minute. It was all so frustrating. Garak really asked so little, and gave so much. Julian had never doubted that he loved the man. But he knew himself. Someday he was going to want a wife and children – a family. And there was no way he could let that dream die by giving free rein to a love that would kill the dream. Besides, there were Garak's own words from long ago. Never a patient. Well, maybe there was a middle ground.

“Look, Garak, I do enjoy spending time with you but I'm not sure that I'm ready to get back into any sort of a relationship with you. You said it yourself. Never a patient. I'm your doctor. How can I also be your lover? I need time to figure out what I do want.”

“I may be a patient, my dear Doctor, but I'm also very patient. I can wait. But since you do want to think about us, could I suggest that the best place to do that is right here?” That brought Julian's eyes up to meet Garak's. The man was perfectly serious.

Garak continued. “You want to know more about me, and I promised you that I would start telling you the stories. Why don't we spend several evenings a week here together. I assure you that you will be most comfortable and, in fact, if you won't share my bed, you can sleep right here on the sofa.”

Unconsciously Julian ran his hand over the soft velour, so much like the covering on his own. This sofa was larger and quite luxurious. A slight bounce said that it would also be firm enough to not do in his back.

“There are sheets in the closet.” The tone was inviting.

Julian's guilt resurfaced. All this because he had inadvertently misspoke.

“After all, a relationship isn't just about sex. It's about companionship and compatibility. What you should be thinking about is how well we sustain an intimate...” Julian looked up in panic. Garak smoothly corrected himself. “a close association.”

Put that way, Julian thought, spending time with Garak did make sense. That future family was a long way off, and there was no way he was going to be celibate until dream became reality.

And the stories! This time he would get to the bottom of Garak's endless lies. When he thought about it, Garak hadn't any idea just what Tain had told him. There would be no harm implying he knew more than he did. Enough to get Garak speaking the truth. Finally.

“Three nights a week.” Julian said firmly. “The other four I sleep in my own quarters.”

“Alone,” Garak replied quickly. “After all, the whole point is to decide whether we can be a couple. You can't do that while you're sleeping with other people.”

There was, unfortunately, a logic there, Julian realized. “Alone,” he agreed. Getting up, he went over to the disposal to get rid of his cup. “Now I need to get to work and so do you, or how will you ever afford this lovely new décor?”

“Exactly, my dear Doctor,” Garak said, walking Julian to the door. “I'll expect you tonight and will plan on dinner here to celebrate our first night together.”

And with that, Julian found himself outside in the corridor. He let out a long sigh. That had really gone much better than he'd expected.

“Take all the samples you want, Doctor. Think of me as your personal laboratory specimen. As long as you remember that none of this goes into a research paper,” Garak warned. He leaned down to take off his shoes and put his legs up against Julian's. The sofa had been a very good idea of his. His quarters were starting to feel like a home.

“Tain really didn't put any restrictions on the data he transferred to me.”

“Believe me, Doctor, the continued good state of your health depends on you being very discrete with that information. Men have died for making that type of information public.”

“I can't believe that, Garak.”

“Oh, believe it, Doctor. I heard about it from Tain himself.”

“Well, if you're sure.”

“Quite sure.” Garak banished old images with another sip of the kanar. He made a mental note to go through the good doctor's files and make sure that he wasn't tempted into an indiscretion that might turn out to be his last.

“At least I can make use of what I learn for treating you.”

“That was Tain's only purpose in giving it to you. Consider also that if you're at all reticent to let your friends on the station know that you're spending nights here, you might want to let it be known that you're taking this opportunity to make a deeper study of Cardassians. I'm always ready to be of service to science. Or be serviced, if that would be more appropriate. The deeper your study, the better, in my opinion.”

They were back to the sexual banter of their early days, and Garak could see that Julian was enjoying the control he'd felt he had over it for these past few weeks.

The sofa was common territory until bedtime, when Garak would retreat to the relative privacy of his bed and listen to the sound of Julian's breathing changing as he fell asleep. Even over the loud background hum of the station, Garak could always pick out the sounds of his lover. And only then did Garak also sleep. He didn't think it would be that long before ex-lover became current one. But perhaps, he thought, it wouldn't hurt to help the process along.

“I was thinking, Doctor. You haven't been enamored of the novels I've given you so far, but there is another type of novel that I have to admit that I do occasionally read. They're considered shocking on Cardassia because they focus on the more elemental aspects of relationships rather than on matters of family and of honor. But they can be quite entertaining.” While he said this, Garak sorted through some holobooks on his side table, choosing one. “Yes. I found this one rather intriguing. It provides insights into the – shall we say mechanical – interactions between individuals.”

“You're not telling me you have pornographic novels there, are you Garak?” Julian said, reaching for the tape with a grin. “I would really like to know what a Cardassian considers shocking.”

“Then, by all means, be my guest. Consider it part of your anthropological research. Meanwhile, I will indulge in some of your ancient Earth poetry. Matthew Arnold, I think, would go well after such a fine dinner. Since it's so difficult to get off this station, I shall have to make do with words.”

“Ye are bound for the mountains!
“Ah! with you let me go
“Where your cold, distant barrier,
“The vast range of snow,
“Through the loose clouds lifts dimly
“Its white peaks in air -
“How deep is their stillness!
“Ah, would I were there!”

Garak's sigh, that followed the fading echo of the words, was followed by Julian's pat on his leg, assuring Garak that his frustration had been heard. That was another thing that was so pleasant about having a roommate – there was someone with whom you could share your feelings. Oh, how Tain would have laughed. With a laugh, himself, Garak settled to his own book.

“I wanted to ask you, Garak, before you get lost in that, where are you getting those replicator recipes? They're really excellent.”

“They are, aren't they? Quark has been good enough to trade me some of his favorites for a small amount of help implementing some security safeguards for his computer. He thinks that someone on Ferenginar is trying to access his financial records.”

“Ask for his Malovian cake recipe. I love that one.” Julian's voice was fading off as he became absorbed in the first few pages.

Remembering just how explicit the book was, Garak felt fairly sure that the cake would not be the only thing rising in the near future. Julian had a limited tolerance for chastity, and Garak was willing to wager that that tolerance was rapidly running out.

Their evenings together had become exactly what Garak had hoped for. Julian had adjusted quickly enough to having his personal effects in emptied drawers, and some uniforms and casual clothing in the half-emptied closet. Making room for Julian had given Garak the opportunity to pare down his wardrobe to his favorites, and the incentive to construct some lounge outfits for Julian that matched Julian's taste and Garak's hopes. At-home robes predominated.

At first, Julian had kept to his planned three nights a week, but Garak had discovered that a prematurely terminated spy tale could be guaranteed to work on the man's mind during the day and have him arrive on off-evenings to continue the tale, and then spend the night. Whether Julian was aware how much of the stories were fiction based loosely on truth, Garak couldn't tell. But he was enjoying telling the stories, and Julian was delighting in the semi-gory details.

After about an hour, Garak stretched, reciting from the page he was on.

“Let the long contention cease!
“Geese are swans, and swans are geese.
“Let them have it how they will!
“Thou art tired; best be still!”

“And with that, I, too, find myself tired and will take myself off to my well-deserved rest. But, please, feel free to awaken me if your reading leads you to want to verify any particular points of interest. You know that I'm always available for research consultations.”

“Go to sleep, Garak.”

Smiling, Garak padded over to pick it up, the smile increasing as he read, and ending in a very wide grin.

Dear Garak,

You should know that I'm not one for being manipulated. But good try.

Thank you for a very enjoyable read. Due to your invaluable instruction, I have taken care of any residual frustration from which I might have been suffering. A number of times. I appreciate your choice of literature and see that I shall have to examine your library in greater detail.

Expect me this evening. Make it a special dinner and be prepared to finish the story you neglected to finish last night. The Malovian cake would be appropriate.

Love,
Julian

The grin turned into loud laughter as Garak collapsed onto a nearby chair and laughed with an abandon he had all but forgotten he could. Bless that man for always being smarter than Garak expected. So Garak's Scheherazade act had been duly noted and encouraged. The player had been well played. Clearly he was going to have to up his game. That thought started the laughter all over again.

“How can those recipes be better than what Quark serves if they come from his replicator? His Pyrean casserole never tasted that good.” Julian stacked together the remaining empty dishes and handed them to Garak. “And the cake...”

“Apparently he uses cheaper variations in his bar. The 'good stuff' he saves for friends. Either we've graduated to that status, or I've sold my soul for future computer work.”

“If the latter, consider it a fair price. That was delicious.”

“I'm so glad you're pleased, Doctor. And, now, do you have any further ideas for this evening?”

“In fact, I do. You shower, then I'll take my turn.”

“It would be more environmentally responsible for us to shower together.”

“My evening. My plans. Off you go.”

Reluctantly, Garak headed into the small bathroom and proceeded to strip down and enjoy the heated water. He enjoyed more wondering just what Julian was planning. But this was certainly a lovely way to start if seduction, as seemed likely, was on the menu.

He soaped himself with meticulous care, remembering Julian's favorite spots. Then soaped himself more slowly as he remembered just what Julian would do with those spots. With a sigh and a last stroke on his aching organ, he stopped himself before he spoiled Julian's fun. The best techniques relied heavily on anticipation over completion. Garak was used to waiting.

A tease in the back of his mind made him question whether Julian might be actually planning an evening of frustration for him, but surely Julian would never be so cruel. But it wouldn't hurt to remind the man just what he'd been missing.

Naked and bouncingly erect, Garak came back into the central area to see if clothing was de rigour. Since Julian moved quickly past him for his own ablutions, with nary a glance at the bobbing hardness preceding Garak, apparently they were. With a sigh, Garak went to the closet to choose appropriate apparel. Something clingy, perhaps, in a fabric that encouraged the hand to stroke it, as well as whatever was underneath. He had made several of those robes during lonely, but hopeful, evenings. The green velour. Its colors flowed artistically into the colors of the room and it was, he thought, while light-weight, still pleasantly warm. Perfect. It even felt good slipping over his head. Of course, the tenting effect disturbed the purity of the robe's lines. A simple meditation trick restored the classic drape. No sense being vulgarly obvious if subtlety was Julian's game tonight.

Now what for Julian? Garak could hear the water being turned off. Quickly he ran his hand over the robes he had made for his lover. He stopped when his hand reached a gossamer breath of silk in the exact colors of Julian's uniform. Again, perfect. He had it shaken out in time to hand it to Julian as the man emerged from the bathroom, gloriously naked and apparently oblivious to the fact. Taking the robe with a smile, Julian slipped it on and walked over to his end of the sofa and settled into the corner, indicating the other end to Garak.

“You were telling me about an operation to silence some friends of yours on Odom 4. The Obsidian Order was going to have them killed and you had just decided to intervene and save them.”

“That's really a very uninteresting story,” Garak said, settling down. “Let me tell you, instead, about an op that I went on when I was still a teenager. They wanted my class to...”

Julian interrupted. “You're not getting out of the other one so easily, Garak. You've succeeded in raising my curiosity. You learned about the assassination order and...” Julian prompted.

“My class story is really far more interesting, Doctor.”

“The Odom 4 story, if you please.”

From the tone of Julian's voice, Garak knew that any further delay would just make the story more intriguing, and he wasn't sure just what records might still exist. All right, then, Odom 4. With the skill of long practice, he forced the mental images that were racing through his mind deeper down.

“If we must.” Garak turned himself around and lay beside Julian, turning him so that they were spooned and Garak didn't have to allow the sometimes too discerning man to watch his face. Light fingertip caresses, hopefully distracting, were allowed, so Garak lightly stroked Julian's chest and began his tale.

“As I told you, Muther was a friend of my youth who had gotten himself into some black market trouble. He'd always been the mischievous type, even when we were children, and I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't been doing it more for the challenge of getting away with it than for the money. Anyway, I learned from a friend who was involved with op planning that Muther had been marked for assassination.

“By now he was thirty - married with five small children. He'd introduced me to his youngest once when I bumped into them unexpectedly on Bajor. Odom 4's not far from there. Cutest little girl of two years old. Curly black hair and a liking for painting her forehead teardrop in the wildest colors, according to Muther. It was bright red that day, I remember. I don't think I have ever been overly fond of children, but I will remember her smile for the rest of my life. Tansy was what they called her.

“Well, my friend in op planning told me that they were going to make an example of Muther and his entire family as a warning to the other black marketeers. They were going to kill that marvelous, innocent little girl. I just couldn't let them do that, could I?”

Julian's hand covered the one on his chest and squeezed. “Of course not. So what happened?”

The blast of the explosion filled Garak's eyes again. “I was too late. They were all dead.” He shook the images away. “I told you it wasn't a worthwhile story to tell.” He teased his fingertips down below Julian's balls and kept them there until Julian stopped trying to remove them.

With a sigh, Julian snuggled back against him. “I'm sorry.”

“Yes, well, there are consequences for illegal behavior. And I'm sure that someone must have been deterred by the lesson.” He sat up. “Can we move over to the bed? For some reason, I feel an overwhelming need to be made love to right now.”

Julian rolled over and looked at him, his hand rising to stroke Garak's ear. “So do I.”

There was no sound – no obvious sign of what had awakened him, but Garak had survived by trusting his instincts. Moving slowly, he got his hand on the phaser he kept by the bed, but it was his weak hand. His strong one, the right, was pinned under Julian and left him in an awkward, vulnerable position to counter whatever threat was in the room.

If he wakened Julian, then there was an extra variable to consider, and Julian was probably safer lying low. There was a slight brush sound, as if fabric had inadvertently touched some piece of furniture. Since the room was sparsely furnished, that gave only a few possible locations for the intruder.

Garak braced himself and strained to hear anything – another soft collision, or even the temporary blockage of some air flow from the vents. Again, almost instinct told him that whoever was there, was staying on his side of the room. Better. He wouldn't have to try to shoot over Julian, while praying the man didn't move.

Pressing hard into the mattress, Garak began slipping his arm free but, just as he did, Julian turned and a faint light on the wall was simultaneously obscured. The scream and the shot occurred almost together. A second shot and the scream was abruptly cut off.

As Julian sat up, Garak was out of bed and checking the rest of the room. Nothing. Whoever had been there had been alone.

Julian, alert but confused, called out, “What was that?” as he raised the room lights.

Garak walked back to the bed, phaser still in hand. He had just opened his mouth to tell Julian when he closed it again. The threat was gone and he didn't want Julian to be, too. This was the first time in months that the man was back in his bed. Tomorrow was soon enough to explain.

“Only my own stupidity. I keep a phaser where I won't again and must have rolled over and accidentally fired it. Then I fumbled and shot it again.” He laid the weapon on the bed and stared at it in apparent disbelief. “I can't believe I was that stupid.”

Grabbing the gun, Julian checked the safety. “This was set on kill! Which we both could have been. I think I'll keep it on my side of the bed for now,” he said, doing just that. “Are you okay, Garak? I thought I heard you scream.”

“Just startled. I can't imagine where my mind was.”

“Probably where mine was. Now come back to bed. Computer, lights down. We have to be up in just a few hours and I, for one, need my sleep. You wore me out!” Julian lay back down, drawing the cover over himself.

One more check of the room and Garak lay beside him, pulling the man against his chest. A quick search had shown him that the backup phaser was still in place. Though he really needed to practice weak hand shooting. Two shots for one opponent was unforgivable.

For a long time, Garak lay like that – testing the room, listening to the steady rhythm of Julian's sleeping breath. He knew what he'd have to do to upgrade his security system. And Julian's, as well. But for the life of both of them, he couldn't understand why an assassin would come after him now. Unless Tain had regretted his impulse to save Garak's life. On that thoroughly depressing thought, Garak eventually allowed himself to fall asleep, but it was a fretful sleep and his hold on Julian was tight and unyielding.

Garak's voice held biting sarcasm at the disapproval in Odo's. “Would you have preferred Julian and I were killed instead?”

“Of course not, but it's going to be difficult discovering who it was if you can't even tell me the race of the attacker.”

“Next time someone tries to kill me I'll be sure to ask for identification. Could you just see if there's someone who's arrived on the station recently and isn't here now?”

“I'll see what I can do.” With that, Odo got up and left the bar. Garak went back to watching Julian, who was celebrating his racketball win with some of his Starfleet friends. Noticing Garak looking his way, Julian gave a small wave and went back to talking to Major Kira.

“What's this I hear about you being attacked last night?” Quark stood behind the counter, empty drink tray in hand.

“Does the Constable tell you everything?” Garak asked with disgust.

“Usually.” Quark leaned forward. “So tell me. What happened?”

“Someone was in our quarters last night. I was able to remove them without worrying the good doctor, and I'd prefer it to remain that way.”

“That's the nice thing about blasters. No unpleasant mess to clean up later.” He indicated Julian across the way, who was laughing uproariously, as were the rest of the table. “And he really didn't wake up? You must have some technique if you wiped him out that thoroughly.” Ignoring Garak's silence, Quark continued, “And maybe it would be better if you got a chance to do that computer upgrade you owe me. Just in case.” A small pat on Garak's back and he was gone to clear a table.

Garak shook his head, then smiled. Always practical. It was one of the things he liked about the Ferengi. If Odo didn't get back some information soon, it might be better to get Julian off the station for a short time. But where was it safe to go? And where would he be willing to go? Garak took a small sip of the kanar in front of him. Until he knew what was going on, it would be better to keep his wits about him.

Julian attempted not to look embarrassed as he explained, “After getting all the Cardassian data, I'm taking the opportunity to use Garak as a test subject for my research.”

“If you'll take my advice, you'll find yourself another line of research. We already know more about them than we want to.” A thought came to her. “Unless what you're studying has applicability to bio-weapons?” At the look on Julian's face, she stood up. “Just let me know when you're not where you might be expected to be. Ops has to be the central communications hub, and there's not always time to go through the Infirmary.”

Julian could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he nodded. “Yes, of course. I'll do that.”

She had barely cleared the next table when Commander Sisko slid into the chair she'd just vacated. “What's with you and Mister Garak? I'm hearing you've almost moved in together.”

“I'm studying Cardassian...”

Sisko interrupted impatiently. “Yes, yes. I've heard that story. I don't care what you get up to in your personal life. That's your business. But you just got information out of Enabran Tain and that is my business. All I'm suggesting is that if you accidentally learn something from our simple tailor that has some connection to what we're doing here, that you let me know.”

Julian's face was now blazing. “Of course. You want me to spy on our station spy. I assure you that I always pass on any information I think is appropriate to Constable Odo. Whatever Garak has done in his previous life, I can assure you that he is doing nothing now that would undermine the station or Starfleet. He's my patient and, yes, he's my friend. But I believe I can walk that balance line between protecting him and protecting Starfleet security.”

Patting Julian's arm, Sisko stood up. “Good. That's all I ask. Keep your eyes open. Good game!”

Noticing Miles approaching with a wide grin and two full mugs, Julian glanced over at Garak who met his eyes, raised an almost full glass of blue liquid in toast and smiled proudly at him. Julian sighed. It looked like the news was spreading, whether he would or not.

“Julian! Now that game was more like it. Did you see my kill shot left? No? maybe that was when you were sitting on your rump.”

“You do remember that you lost, I hope?” Julian said, sipping at the pro-offered brew and ignoring the spreading puddle of beer from the frothing mug being slapped down on the table.

“By a hair's breath. All I would have had to do was raise the angle of the next shot and I would have had the game. Next time, Julian, you are going to know what it feels like to go down to an old man.” Miles' face tightened as he glanced across the room to where Garak was talking with Odo. “Which reminds me, are you certifiably crazy? You aren't really going down for that damned Cardassian, are you?”

Julian spit his beer onto the table and Miles got up to slap him on the back, taking the opportunity to whisper into his ear, “I don't care how many sex tricks they know, it's not worth it. If he's got something on you, let me know. I have some friends and we can take care of him.”

Coughing, Julian got out, “No, please don't! It's research. We're friends.”

Miles backed away, hands up, then leaned back down. “Your business, but take it from me, you can't be friends with one of those. The only thing you're gonna have up your ass is trouble.” Grabbing his beer, Miles began to walk away then turned back and said in a loud voice while staring at Garak, “But that offer still stands.”

If the table hadn't been wet with beer, Julian would have put his head on it. Catching Garak's eye and noting the confusion on his face, Julian shrugged an explanation. He was pretty sure he could come up with a good one later. He just needed to lubricate his thought processes a little more. Realizing the mug was now empty and that another friend was on their way over, Julian signaled a passing waiter that he'd have a shot. Double.

He needed Julian awake and sober enough to talk, but relaxed enough to go along with his plan. The problem was that his lover refused to shut up long enough to give Garak the opportunity to present it as it should be. He needed the doctor off the station. Now!

“So then Jadzea came over. She has this friend she wanted to introduce me to...” The words faded out as Garak ran his hand just above Julian's back and let it slide slowly above the rump that wouldn't stay still long enough to let the effect build. But since the man was now quiet, it had worked well enough.

A fast, hard push back from below was a more pleasant surprise, and Garak couldn't stop himself from responding with some fast thrusts of his own. It was so hard to concentrate when Julian was in this sort of mood – playful and open to anything Garak wanted to try. He consciously slowed down. But he promised himself that he was going to screw the man into the mattress once he'd gotten Julian's agreement on the field trip plan. Odo had gotten a piece of information that had surprised Garak.

“Odo came over to talk to me, too.”

For a moment Garak had the fantasy that Julian was reading his mind. He shook his head and bent to his task.

“He actually congratulated me and told me to ignore what the rest of them were saying. He thinks you're a gentleman, even if also probably a murderer and a couple of things worse. And he said he hopes that someone loves him someday as much as you love me. Quark joined us and asked if we'd like to have a party in his place to celebrate getting together. He offered a fifteen percent discount on an open bar.”

“If you keep talking, I'm never going to get this done.”

“I was counting. Of the thirteen people who were sure we were having sex...”

“Trying to have sex,” Garak interjected through clenched teeth.

“Four of them thought it was a great idea, five were sure I was making a big mistake, three of whom offered to set me up with friends, two couldn't have cared less, and two propositioned me. Both men. Three others seemed to buy the research story.”

"Eliminate distractions. Focus on the objective. Create a tunnel in your mental vision that shows only what you need to see." Garak could almost hear his father's voice reciting those old, familiar aphorisms. Which did absolutely nothing to help him concentrate on his current goal. Goals.

“I've been thinking that we need to get away somewhere together. Somewhere where we can do this all day and all night...” Garak made clear what he intended them to be doing. “and not be distracted. I know we said it wasn't safe to go off station, but I was thinking we could go to Bajor, like we did before.” Julian wiggled his rump impatiently and Garak focused on business for awhile.

“We could find another concert on some other planet. Somewhere that doesn't have an original DNA scanner. And you can turn me into a Vulcan or a Romulan. How would you like that?”

“Remembering your little Romulan diplomat? No, thank you.” Julian wiggled his rump. “Do you remember that time you combined deep muscle massage with your normal deep massage?”

Garak did. The moans increased.

“Then what about a spy tour?” Garak panted. There was a reason he didn't use this technique very often. “I'll take you somewhere I went on an op and walk you through it? What about the 'Tale of the Blue Rose?' Where I convinced the planet's president to fund a revolution against himself. I could show you the house where I had the documents forged.”

“Harder. Deeper.”

After another two minutes of harder and deeper, Garak collapsed on Julian's back. “Then you suggest somewhere,” he got out between gasps.

Julian looked back over his shoulder and smiled. “Odom 4.”

Garak leaned up on his hands. “No. Palos 10. Where I was in a gunbattle with a Ferengi.”

“Odom 4.”

“Arcon. The collapse of the national economy.”

Julian was relentless, his smile never wavering. “Odom 4.”

“Why?” Garak asked desperately.

“Because you really don't want to talk about it, and I want to know why.”

“Can't some things remain private?” Garak asked.

“Not if you want us to be truly intimate.”

Garak made some half-hearted thrusts. “This isn't intimate enough for you?”

“You know that's not the important kind of intimacy. If you want me the way you claim to, it's time for you to let me in. Speaking of which, if you're just about finished, I think it's my turn.” Julian put his head back down on the pillow. “And then you can turn off that music.”

Odom 4. Of all the places Julian could have asked to go. Garak began moving mechanically toward his climax. Everything he'd learned from Odo said that Odom 4 was probably what this whole problem was about. After all, it's why he was exiled in the first place. Taking Julian there was just taking him into the fire.

Well, maybe it was time to face this full on. His lover was no weakling. Properly prepared, Julian would be a full partner, and not someone who needed protecting. Who would have ever guessed that Garak would have chosen so well on that long ago, fateful afternoon? Whatever else he would have thought next was lost as his head exploded in climax and the world exploded around him. Just like on Odum 4, came a distant whisper.

They were walking down a winding road, houses peeping out through exuberant foliage. There were, indeed, flowers everywhere he looked. The colors not quite the same as those that had grown in the fields around his house when he'd been a boy.

“I can't believe you shot someone and I didn't notice.” The comment, with some variation, had been a frequent theme since Garak had explained to the doctor just why a trip to this particular planet was one he shouldn't undertake casually. As expected, the warning had only increased Julian's determination to go.

“They lived just over that hill,” Garak said, pointing. “I knew the husband from around the neighborhood when I was young. We entered the Obsidian Order within a few years of one another. We weren't close. Just nodding acquaintances, actually.”

“I thought you said Muther was into black market smuggling.”

“It was a bit worse than that. Information on the order was showing up in the underground press. No one knew what secrets were going to be exposed and, believe me, the order had secrets that would have embarrassed us all if they'd ever come out. Whoever was betraying us had to be stopped.”

“And Muther was that man,” Julian said.

Garak shook his head. “I didn't think the evidence was as strong as it was made out to be. But they needed an example to keep the rest of us in line. I'm certain it was a careful calculation. If he was guilty, the punishment was appropriate. If he wasn't, then he still held great value as an object lesson. One might be willing to risk one's own life, but few people would put their whole family at risk.”

“And you came here to warn him. Wouldn't that have gotten you into trouble, too?” Julian glanced over at Garak. “It did, didn't it? That's why you were exiled. Because you tried to tell him about the hit.”

Garak smiled. That wasn't so far from the truth. Except that he hadn't come to warn Muther. He'd come to kill the man, his wife, his two sons and his three daughters. That bush they'd just passed had been one of his observation areas. The others had been closer to the house. There. And over there. He'd spent those four days deciding the best way to kill an entire family. His job was assassination, and he'd been very good at it in those days.

If the house had still been there, it would have been visible by now. It wasn't. But Garak could still see it in memory. He'd lain in those bushes up ahead watching the family's pattern. And at night he would move in so close he could watch the family through their absurdly open windows.

“The op was planned for an early evening in the summer. It was the youngest child's birthday and everyone would be there for dinner – even some of the extended family. So it would be a strong demonstration of the power of the Order.”

A fence still surrounded the razed building, and Garak opened it, closing it conscientiously behind him, as if anything within its environs still needed to be protected. He stopped and looked around at what landmarks there were. Play equipment dangled haphazardly from rusty poles, and a large, nearby sandbox still held some evidence of the massive destruction that had happened not far away. By instinct he moved to the sandbox.

“It was an explosion,” Julian said quietly, unable to look away from the damaged play space.

“Rather cleverly constructed. It was a minimal configuration of explosives calculated to take out only the house, with no damage to surrounding buildings. The Order wanted no harm to come to surrounding properties, so that the tragedy would be soonest forgotten. Except by the people who were meant to profit by the lesson.”

“Where were you when it blew up?

“Right here. The blast was art, itself. Blinding, deafening, but the concussion waves went inward, not outward.”

“Were you hurt?”

“A stray brick hit my forehead. It was nothing.”

“On the contrary. You were drenched in blood, as I remember.”

“Freel!”

Garak froze for a moment, shaken by the all too familiar voice, but quickly steadied himself. He'd been expecting this. He glanced over at Julian, who had a hard look in his eyes. Good. Slowly he turned. In front of him was a Cardassian of his own age, though taller and harder. Handsome in the classical mode, with the bearing of someone who believes he will always dominate. But the greatest similarity was in the eyes – each man's cold and merciless.

“You're older. You've aged well.” Garak's statement was flat.

“You haven't. Must be all the soft living. I remember someone slim and tough.” Freel glanced over at Julian. “It's him, isn't it?” At the confused expression on Julian's face, he looked back at Garak. “You haven't told him about me?” There was surprise, but also pain in the voice, as if it was difficult to believe he hadn't been an integral part of Garak's story.

“There was nothing to tell.”

Now the anger rose in the other Cardassian. Freel turned to Julian, whose face still showed that he had no idea what this conversation was about. “Nothing except the fact that we were lovers for over a year. We knew each other's body as well as we knew our own. You think you know him because he screws you? You're nothing. You're human. We were the kings of the universe and I know him in ways you'll never imagine. He uses you. We loved each other.”

“You exaggerate, as usual.” Garak allowed amusement to creep into his voice, all the time listening and looking for clues that would explain the vulnerabilities of this always emotional ex-lover. “We were practicing skills on each other like all the other nineteen year olds we knew. You were good, I'll admit, but not exceptional.” A small smile at Julian to imply that the man before them wasn't up to Julian's abilities. Yes, Freel rose to that. Garak watched as Freel focused on Julian, his words almost spitting out in fury.

“That's not what he said then. It was love, not sex. We'd go at it for days on end, rest for hours, and then return to the play. Does he still call it play? Does he still like to wrestle naked until one of you slides into the other.” At Julian's involuntary glance at Garak, Freel laughed. “Of course not. You're weak. All humans are. He rides you like an Andorian pony, doesn't he? Does he dig his spurs in?”

“Enough, Freel!” The words cut. “You've made your point. He's aware of my past partners. Now he knows that you were one of them. He has nothing to do with our past. This should be between us. Let him go and let's settle this as we should. We can wrestle naked again, if you'd like. But perhaps we should do it in Tralian style. With knives.” He ignored the gasp from beside him, concentrating on the small changes of expression in the man before him. But the response wasn't what Garak expected. Freel's face showed shock as he turned to Julian.

“He loves you! He's trying to protect you. He's never loved anyone more than himself in his whole life. I gave him everything. I asked him to marry me and he laughed at me.” Freel's voice rose to almost a scream. “He laughed.”

That was the cue. Garak laughed now. “You have to admit that you looked rather funny trying to get the bonding ring out the box it was stuck in.”

For a moment, Garak thought he'd gotten the man off-balance but, with difficulty, Freel regained control. What a shame. He'd been much easier to manipulate when they were young.

“I still have it, you know. It helps me remember just how much I hate you.”

“The feeling, I assure you, is mutual.” Garak kept his voice calm.

Julian, who had not really been a part of the conversation, interrupted quietly - his voice that of a doctor. “What went wrong between you?”

The question was for Freel, Garak noted, applauding Julian's attempt to draw the man's attention away from Garak, the professional in these matters. He looked for an opening, running his mind over the ways he could use the various weapons he carried, or something from the immediate environment, if it came to that.

But Freel wasn't really interested in Julian. He looked at Garak and there was real pain on his face. “I don't know. What did go wrong?”

“We were too young. It was that simple. I wasn't ready to settle down with one person.” Garak only barely stopped himself from glancing at Julian, who brought that same problem to their relationship. “No matter how good we were together.”

“But we were good?” Freel's voice was pleading.

Garak let himself smile. “Oh, yes, we were. Do you remember that mission we took to Droxlen?” Moving a few steps he attempted to maneuver Freel so that he was turned partially away from Julian. “You were supposed to blow the hydroelectric plant, and I was supposed to seduce the plant supervisor to get him out of the way while you planted the explosives.”

“And I made you promise that you wouldn't let the old tanya get his hands on you. And after he took his clothes off, you stole them so he couldn't come out of that storage area.”

“But when your explosion went off, he ran out completely naked.” The grins they shared were real this time.

Freel's face went suddenly blank. “And then you ran off and spent the weekend with that dancer.”

“Freel, I was nineteen!”

“So was I, and I never treated you like that.”

“No, you didn't. You were faithful, and I wasn't. It was an uneven relationship, and that's part of why it didn't work.”

“Why couldn't you love me?”

“You can't snap your fingers and have love appear. It's there or it's not.”

“It was there for me.”

“I know.”

Julian's doctor-voice broke the following silence. “What could either of you have done that could have helped make things better?”

Garak used the opportunity to move a few more steps so that Freel was forced to turn a little more to face him. To his side, Garak could see that Julian was recognizing his tactics and preparing himself for whatever chance presented itself. “I truly don't know. Talking wasn't what either of us were doing back then.”

“But we should have been,” Freel said. “And you should have let me know when you felt tempted toward other people and let me help you direct all that toward me.”

“We could have moved in together.” In the corner of his eye, Garak could see Julian freeze. “If there was any chance that I could have loved you, maybe I could have tried to turn us into a couple. Love deserves something.”

“Garak!” There was desperate hope in Freel's voice.

Garak held up his hand and directed himself now to his ex-lover. “But I didn't love you. We were nineteen and I didn't love you then, and I don't love you now.”

“But you love him.” The flatness of the statement turned Garak cold. The many ways this conversation could go so very wrong moved through his mind so rapidly he was barely aware of analyzing them. As his body tensed, ready to be thrown between Freel and Julian, Julian spoke again.

“You know, sometimes it can be just as painful to be the one that's loved, as it is to be the one that loves.”

Freel turned to stare at the man, seeming to just then remember that Julian was still there. Almost, Garak moved but before he completed the decision Freel re-positioned himself to the canonically correct position from which to hold a weapon on two opponents. Damn old Rassler's class in tactics! Freel had always beaten him in that one. Garak forced his body back to relaxed alertness.

“You don't love him?” Freel asked Julian, disbelieving.

Julian echoed Garak's words. “It's there or it's not.” He shrugged. “I can't make myself love him just because he loves me anymore than he could make himself love you. It's not any of our faults. It's just the way it is.”

A chuckle from Freel turned slowly into loud, sustained laughter. “That's wonderful! All the years I've plotted my revenge against him, and you were making him suffer a fate worse than any I was imagining. How poetically just. Well done, Doctor. Well done.”

“So now what?” Garak asked. He indicated the destroyed building with a gesture of his head. “Did Tain send you about this?”

The smile disappeared from Freel's face. “I wanted Tain to send me after you, like he sent me after the brat, but he wouldn't. I tried every argument I could think of, but he was adamant. You weren't to be touched.” He shrugged. “So I resigned, and made you my last mission. How wonderfully appropriate that it all ends here.”

“Why here?” Julian asked.

“You're standing on this very spot and he didn't tell you what happened here?” The doctor's transparent face was his only answer. “The brat - what was her name? Oh, yes. Tansy. Stupid name for a stupid child. That's how he got so bloody. He ran in and threw himself on top of that unimportant little piece of traitor filth.”

The words, unexpectedly, brought back such vivid images that Garak responded without thinking, agony in his voice. “She was two years old. She had done nothing.”

The smile on Freel's face said he knew he had unsettled Garak, but Garak was having trouble getting his mind to control his emotions. She had been such a beautiful child.

Freel turned triumphantly back to Julian. “He thought he saved her. Took the brat to some whore of his on Melonk 3. But I had my revenge, didn't I, Garak? I found her and I killed both of them. And you knew it. You knew that Tain sent me to clean up your loose ends. And then I killed you by convincing Tain to send you away. I knew what our world meant to you, and I knew that you would suffer every day. A long slow death. Just the same way you'd made me suffer for all those years.”

The surroundings darkened in Garak's eyes as he focused on Freel, but all he really saw was the small face looking up at him and asking where her mommy was. For five nights he'd held her and rocked her to sleep as the piece of junk he'd bought headed slowly, but inconspicuously, for the only refuge he could think of for the child – Lanya.

“And now I'm going to kill your love, just like you killed the love in me.”

Reason left Garak in that instant. With a roar, he leaped at Freel, not hearing Julian's scream and hardly feeling the pain in his abdomen. Julian caught him and Garak maneuvered to keep his body between the man and Freel. Freel started laughing, a strange hysterical sound. “You want to die first? Maybe I'll let you.” He pointed the phaser at Garak, turning the setting to maximum. He was still laughing when a phaser burst struck from the small space between Garak's elbow and the hand Garak held over his wound. Freel disappeared as if he had never existed. The silence was broken only by the warning cry of a bird flying high overhead. Garak sank to the ground, Julian dropping his phaser and kneeling beside him.

Pulling Garak's hand away to try to get a look at the exposed flesh, Julian said angrily, “Is this what you meant about my standing back and letting the professional handle it? That was very professional, Garak – running straight at a man holding a phaser. Remind me NOT to put that into my bag of spy tricks.” From his heel, Julian pulled out the small tricorder he had kept there against Garak's advice. What he saw didn't seem to please him. Slapping the com unit he'd tucked under his collar, Julian said, “Computer, two to beam up. Energize.”

The runabout they'd taken materialized around them, as the tingles that teleportation always gave Garak moved into his wound and began to change into an intense burning sensation. Julian had moved across the room to where he kept his medical kit and was back and pushing a hypo into Garak's neck before Garak could tell him where it hurt. The room faded away and, with it, the pain.

When he next awoke, his abdomen felt cold, even though he was covered with a blanket. As he reached down to see why the chill, Julian came over and put his hand on the blanket to stop him. “Leave it alone. I've had to regenerate a few organs and the process will be going on for about the next hour. How are you feeling?”

“What organs?” At the look on Julian's face, Garak shook his head. “On second thought, tell me later after everything is back together.” He looked around at the technicians going quietly about their work. “I take it I'm going to live. Thank you, Doctor.”

“That's what we're here for.” Looking around, Julian went over to get a stool that he put next to the bed and sat down. “Are you well enough yet to tell me what that was all about? I take it there was more going on than you explained before we left.”

Garak stared up at an all too familiar ceiling. “Freel.”

“And Tansy. You told me about meeting her. You never told me you tried to save her.”

Garak smiled. “Don't think me a knight on a white charger, Doctor. I rushed into that as stupidly as I did - was it yesterday?”

“Three days ago,” Julian corrected.

Accepting that, Garak continued. “It was a birthday party for her and they'd left her outside while they made the final arrangements. I was nearby and she saw me and she gave me this wonderful, wide smile. And the next thing I knew she and I were bleeding all over each other and I was running away with her in my arms.”

“And you didn't give her to a neighbor because you assumed that the bomber would be back to finish the job.”

Relieved that Julian hadn't seemed to understand that Garak had, himself, been the bomber, Garak fought a losing battle with his conscience as to whether that information was necessary to add. Since Julian had given him a universal absolution, and what use absolution if the sins remained, he decided that that part of the truth was unnecessary. “If the Obsidian Order knew that she was alive, they would have found her and completed their lesson. Yes.”

“And Lanya?”

Garak smiled. “There Freel was quite correct, if rude. Lanya and I met occasionally and latinum did change hands, though I do believe I was given a significant discount. But I really liked her, and I knew that she wanted to get into another line of work. She had moved to a farming planet quite out of the way, and it occurred to me that she might like having a daughter. I discovered she had married a pioneer and he was amenable to their taking in Tansy. I gave them all the latinum I had with me and, when I got back to Cardassia, emptied out my accounts and sent her everything I had.” For a moment he could almost see the little girl looking up at him with those big eyes. “Tansy did have the most beautiful smile.”

“And then?”

“Ah, yes. Then.” The truth was that Tain had sent Freel as a backup to make sure Garak did the job that Tain knew Garak didn't want to do. “Tain accused me of protecting the child and what could I say? I had.”

Actually, that hadn't been quite the way it happened, Garak remembered. Tain had told him that he'd given Freel orders to kill the child and Garak had been so furious that he had told Tain that he wanted to protect her because Murther was not the father. That Murther had agreed to take in the child because Garak couldn't keep her – not in his line of work – and because Garak didn't want to leave his daughter with Lanya. So, Garak had informed his father that Tain had signed a death warrant for his own granddaughter. It hadn't been true, of course, but it had hurt Tain as much as Tansy's death had hurt Garak. That was the betrayal that had caused Garak's exile. Pain for pain. What a wonderful balancing out of justice.

“I'm sorry,” Julian said, taking Garak's hand.

Garak squeezed it. “As am I. But it's past and over and so, I hope, is the immediate threat.”

“If the attempt on your life came from this one, yes. Was Odo absolutely certain that Freel was the one behind your attack? Which I STILL can't believe happened and I didn't notice!”

“I'm certain the good Constable and I will discuss the threat. He doesn't want to see potential violence on this station any more than I want to see violence perpetrated on either of us. As for future attacks, you have my promise, my dear Doctor, that should my life ever be threatened again, I will inform you immediately.”

With a quick glance around to see what the others in the room were doing, Julian dropped his voice to a whisper. “For a moment back there I thought you were talking about us instead of you two. When you said the two of you might have worked if you'd moved in together. Then I realized that what makes our relationship work is that we keep everything even. We both play around or we both stay monogamous.

Still weak and not up to his usual dissembling, Garak just closed his eyes.

“Garak?” A whisper. “Garak!” A hiss. A hand gripped his arm and Garak looked up into Julian's face. “Do we have something to talk about?”

Garak felt the blood rising to his face. “It's possible I might have given you the wrong impression.”

“Impre...” Realizing that his voice had risen and heads had turned, Julian lowered his voice again, squeezing Garak's arm tighter. “Will you ever tell me the truth, Garak?”

“Oh, Doctor, will I ever tell myself the truth?”

He'd lain down as soon as he'd arrived in his quarters. The walk had been surprisingly tiring, and the ache in his abdomen had grown more intense with every step. Perhaps he shouldn't have left so soon, but it was impossible to lie there with everyone walking around as if he were some inanimate object. No acceptable company. No intellectual stimulation. And that old nurse/lover of Julian's staring daggers at him whenever she passed in the evening. Clearly, he had been there long enough.

Besides, his own personal medical professional would be showing up any minute to check up on him. He sat up to drink a bit more of the kanar he'd managed to pour on his way to bed. Just in case the medical prescriptions didn't include alcohol. He had missed his evening drink, he thought, putting the glass back down.

Closing his eyes, Garak tried to rest. Slowly, the images that had been disturbing him in the Infirmary began reappearing here, almost as if they had followed him. Tansy and Lanya first. Always first. Then memories of that year he had spent with Freel.

It had been exciting to be nineteen and a member of the Obsidian Order. A new career. A new lover. Life had seemed as if it couldn't get any better. Freel had been magnificent. Superb in body, and as well trained in technique as Garak, himself. They had reached heights Garak knew he would never reach again.

But that was alright. Having a place-memory meant that, for an instant, Garak could put himself back into a moment of time and remember the passion that they'd shared. A shiver went through Garak. That was before Freel had lost his mind. Love. Could that possibly have been real for the boy? If so, Garak wished that he could ask his forgiveness, too. He understood love now, and it most certainly did take over the soul.

Julian. Had he really been willing to trade his life for the doctor's? Garak touched the healing wound. Apparently so. And would again, he had to admit. But would he be successful the next time? Or the time after that? Julian was right. The threat hadn't been eliminated. One of his old operations could still come back on him. And where would Julian be then?

Suddenly he could hear his father's voice. “I should have killed your mother before you were born. You have always been a weakness I can't afford.” And, like a blinding light, he suddenly knew what it meant. His father loved him. How simple. Was it possible that part of his exile was to stop him from being a pawn that could be used against his father? Because if anyone knew that he was Tain's son, they might also believe that they could blackmail Tain with Garak's life.

A week ago Garak would have laughed at the notion. But the pain beneath his hand reminded him that there were some things that would triumph over any notion of honor. Could Freel have loved him like that? Too late to worry about it. But not too late to worry about Julian.

Lying here, he couldn't help but be aware of the space to the left of the bed. It had only been a flash – a glimpse of movement, but it would have been so easy for everything to have gone wrong. If the assassin had just come a short time before, he might have caught them in the act, so distracted that they would have been easy prey. “A weakness I can't afford.” The words repeated in his head. But they weren't quite right. The right words were more like “An asset I can't risk.”

The decision was made before Garak even realized there was one to make. Julian should not be here with him. Occasional lunches. The odd offing in one of their quarters. But he couldn't be recognized, as Freel had done, as a pawn to be played in any future move against Garak, himself.

There wasn't a lot of time before Julian would discover he was gone and come after him. Groaning softly, Garak got out of bed and began collecting the personal effects and clothes that Julian had left here over their time together. He had a carrying case for suits that he took home when he needed extra time to finish. That easily fit what he had collected together. Before he could change his mind, he took the case and put it by the door. Julian would understand. He'd almost been killed. Surely he'd understand.

The voice startled Garak awake. It took a moment for him to comprehend what Julian meant. Then he remembered. Sitting up, he said casually, “As a matter of fact, yes.”

“Why?”

Tempted as he was to try an excuse, Garak found himself, instead, speaking the truth. “Because I think you're in more danger if it's known that you're my weakness.”

Julian didn't answer right away, but stood looking silently down at Garak, who waited for him to recognize the logic.

“I would remind you who shot Freel and who got shot.”

At that Garak had to smile. “An excellent point. I can see that you're going to remind me of that for a very long time.”

The atmosphere easing, Julian sat down on the bed. “We were going to finish our conversation about even and uneven relationships, if you remember.”

“I was hoping you wouldn't.”

“Not likely. So what were you doing with those women if you weren't screwing them?”

Julian's face showed that he was remembering something, and Garak was afraid it was his carefully staged romp with the non-existent partner. “There was no one with me.”

Julian stared at him, then collapsed on the bed and looked at the ceiling before turning onto his elbow and looking at Garak. “What about that procession of women? Romulans, Klingons, Andorians. Wasn't there even a Ferengi?”

It took Garak a moment before he could bring himself to say in a low voice, “Odo.”

Silent for a moment, Julian turned face down onto the mattress and began laughing hysterically while beating his fists into the pillow. Gulping air, he looked at Garak for a second, then started off on another fit. When he had finally laughed himself out, he rolled over and looked up at the same ceiling that was fascinating Garak.

“I assume he's fully functional.”

“Yes.”

“But you didn't...”

“No.”

“And the reason that you did all this...”

“Was to make you jealous.”

A hand reached out for Garak's and squeezed. “It worked.”

“I know.” Garak squeezed back.

They lay like that for awhile until Julian broke the silence. “So our relationship was just like yours and Freel's. You were faithful and I wasn't.” No answer was expected or given. “I suppose it wouldn't be unreasonable to try to redirect some of my interest in women to you.”

“I'd be willing to go to counseling with you, but I don't know who we'd talk to.”

Trying to maintain a straight face, Julian suggested, “Commander Sisko?”

“No!” After a moment's consideration, Garak offered instead, “Quark?”

“Disgusting as that sounds, it's actually not a bad idea.” Sitting up, Julian smiled. “Do you know, I think we're being honest with each other. Maybe this could be the start of a trend.” He got up.

“Now, I presume that you've upgraded your security.” Garak nodded. “Good. I don't like the idea of our having company while we're sleeping. I'm going back to my quarters and pick up some more things. For the time being, I'm moving in.” When Garak opened his mouth, Julian stopped whatever he was going to say. “There's no point in trying to be discrete when everyone assumes I've already moved in. You need a nursemaid and I seem to be the best person to fill that position. So you can finish that glass of kanar you're trying to hide while I'm gone, because the bottle is going to disappear until I decide you're well enough to go back to your normal, dissolute pursuits.”

Garak patted the bed. “That will also have to wait,” Julian said, but he was smiling now, too. “When I get back I'll give you a once over, then I have to get back to the Infirmary. And I'm looking forward to thinking of some way to pay back our good Constable for his part in your prank. I could always fill his bucket with some high proof synthehol. I wonder if changelings are allergic to alcohol.”

“Do I have to worry about retribution, as well?” Garak asked, with a matching smile.

“Oh, yes. Worry, by all means, my plain and simple tailor. You will never know when or what retribution will be coming. Just be assured that I will get mine back.”

As he walked to the door Julian threw back over his shoulder, “I keep forgetting to tell you. Tain did send you a message when I saw him. He said to tell you that he missed you.” He waved. “Be back soon.”

Getting up from the bed, Garak listened to the door opening and closing. Images ran through his head - standing in an archway watching a large man working at a desk – waiting at a window for his father to come home - holding his father's hand after a walk in the country. An image of a black closet came to him but he pushed it away. He let the country memory return and felt again the breese on his face and smelled the flowers. The hand that held his was very large and very warm. Love wasn't weakness. Tain was wrong.

Walking over to the communications center, Garak stood thinking for a long minute then keyed in Tain's private code. He followed it with a single sentence. “I miss you, too.”

Garak was brushing off a piece of fabric that had fallen to the floor when he was scooped up by a tornado and deposited in one of the empty dressing rooms at the rear of the shop. Julian jerked the curtain closed across the doorway and shoved the unresisting Garak up against the wall. "Just what did you think you were doing? Were you taking some kind of revenge on me for not wanting sex with you? What were you doing!" His voice was low and menacing.

"I'm sorry."

The complete capitulation stopped Julian cold. Slowly and reluctantly he let go of Garak's shirt, but his eyes still asked for an explanation and he was still visibly furious.

The words didn't come as smoothly as they usually did. The jokes weren't there, nor the evasions, nor the excuses. When he had stood before his father, Garak had felt some defense against the accusations. This time there was none. He had violated a promise and he had taken no responsibility for his actions. In another life, that might have been accepted, even expected, behavior. Now, for some unexplainable reason, he felt that he had to give this man the one thing Garak wasn't good at offering - the truth.

"I got carried away and went too far. I am truly sorry." Picking up Julian's hand, Garak wrapped it around his own wrist, desperate to be believed. "I never meant to make you want me like that. I only wanted to show how clever I was to be able to create such intense sensations. When I realized that I had gone too far, I should have stopped right away but I didn't. And once I realized what I had done, I...ran. I'm sorry."

It was a full frozen minute before Julian admitted, "I let myself in for it. I have to share the blame." Julian's eyes blazed again. "But never, ever try anything like that again without fully informing me what you expect to happen."

The part that Garak heard was that fully informing the doctor might mean another session if he could come up with something else just as exotic. But this wasn't the time to verify that point.

For another minute they stared at one another as Julian processed what Garak had said, and Garak's mind raced over every sex technique he'd ever tried or been told about. "Are there any after effects I should expect?" Julian asked.

Garak shook his head. "I've been on the receiving end of that at least a dozen times. Normally it ends in a more..." he stumbled trying to find a delicate way of putting it. "...definitive manner. But when I have been left in that incomplete state, I was fully functional again in less than four hours."

"Then I suppose I should thank you for not turning me into garg. That damned burning lasted half an hour."

Attempting not to appear impressed by Julian's control, Garak took Julian's free hand and pushed up the sleeve, holding his hand suspended about the arm and looking at Julian, an offer that was part apology, part hope of reigniting his interest. "It doesn't have to be so overwhelming. It can produce the lightest stimulation."

Julian looked apprehensive, but nodded. As the hand above his arm produced the sensation described, Julian clutched Garak's wrist more tightly and closed his eyes. Garak stopped quickly and Julian opened his eyes. "Fascinating." he breathed. "It's like the effect of a good whiskey while you do it, but there's no hangover when you stop." Thinking a moment, he asked, "0 to 10?"

Smiling, Garak said, ".3 today. 4 yesterday."

Julian's eyes opened wide and Garak knew he was trying to extrapolate just what a 10 would do to him. Julian shook his head in amazement, then looked down at the wrist he still held. "You won't have to do that again. I'll believe you."

"That really wouldn't be wise at all, I'm afraid. I never promised not to lie to you. Just not to break my promises." The small smile left Garak. "Which I did."

"We're all human..." Julian started, then corrected himself at a lifted eye ridge. "...or rather, we're all sentient. I can forgive a mistake." At the relief in Garak's face, Julian smiled and they grinned at one another. Letting go Garak's wrist and turning to push him out of the dressing room, Julian continued, "Close up for lunch. I didn't get any breakfast and I'm starving. Besides, I have a thousand questions for you. Vulcan non-touching. That I was able to learn. But there are no details posted anywhere!" Julian's voice drifted away as Garak waved at a button to close the shop on his way through the doorway.

After a short while a soft voice hesitantly called out from a far dressing room, "Hello?"

**********

"You don't think they're going to make my feet look too big?" Julian stretched out his leg and turned his foot this way and that.

If the shiny, black shoe was any broader than the one he had worn into the shoemaker's, Garak couldn't tell. "The question," he reminded Julian, "is how they feel. What about the side pockets? And the heels? Do they feel the same as your old shoes?"

"They're more comfortable, if anything," Julian admitted as he got to his feet and paced around the store. "I'm surprised I can't feel the pockets."

"It's the barrier he puts between your foot and the compartment. And the outer surface is cleverly made to simulate your foot. Just in case someone did think to check your shoes for contraband." It necessitated some effort for Garak to keep his face expressionless for this discussion, but he was enjoying Julian's enthusiasm over spy shoes too much to do or say anything that might discourage his new friend. "What about the heels?"

Julian bounced a little as he walked. "There's no change I can feel in my posture, so they must be the height I'm used to." Looking to the waiting shoemaker, Julian nodded. "They're perfect. I'll wear them and you can wrap up the ones I wore." As the man disappeared with Julian's other shoes, Julian whispered to Garak, "What does he think about all this?"

That did get a smile from the keeper of another shop. "He thinks that he's lucky to have customers who are willing to pay for handmade shoes."

With the package tucked under arm, the two went out and looked around the promenade. By mutual agreement, they climbed the stairs to the second floor and began a leisurely stroll, glancing occasionally through the view ports to see if anything was coming through the wormhole. It was a quiet evening with nothing much happening except for a religious service that was ongoing at the Bajorian shrine. Garak glanced over to Julian, and quickly away.

What an amazing two weeks it had been. Instead of turning his back on Garak, Julian had accepted a friendship that rested on an intimacy Garak had forced upon him. While Julian might have bared his body, Garak had bared his soul. To no one else had Garak ever spoken of his father. True, Garak couched his past in the camouflage of half truths but it didn't really matter if this detail or that was not clearly revealed. What was important was that he had found someone who would listen to his stories and not judge him for a past that sometimes tore at a conscience he hadn't even realized he had. A priest who could hear his confession and perhaps, someday, even forgive his sins.

Garak knew he was still playing the game, but the goals and the rules of the game had changed. The bet he now laid upon the table was no small price. He would seduce this man, and in the seduction gain not just a body but another soul. And so he played, oh, so much more carefully. To this lover of secrets and knowledge, he brought threads that could be followed and hints that would tantalize. To this man who loved spies, he brought a spy. And if the spy actually was one, then let that be another thread with which to tie the good doctor to him. Handcuffs of mystery.

And there on the promenade below, Garak saw another opportunity to entrance and, yes, to tease. Garak touched Julian's arm to draw his attention to a couple passing beneath - the woman Andorian, the man Vulcan. "You're always asking me what I learned in spy school, well, if I had ever been in spy school, they might well have taught me distance surveillance. Can you figure out what those two are talking about?"

"What I'm always asking is for you to teach me your Vulcan touch technique," Julian complained.

"Which I won't," Garak agreed, "for both our sakes." Indicating the couple more firmly, he repeated, "What are they talking about?"

Doubtful, but willing, Julian leaned on the railing and stared at the couple as they approached. "The man is waving his arm in the direction...of Quark's," Julian finished triumphantly.

"And..." Garak encouraged.

"And his wife - she's not affectionate enough to him to be his mistress - she's looking the other way. Now she's looking back. They passed the Klingon restaurant a few shops back. She's probably saying she wants to go there."

"But they just passed Quark's, so what does that tell you?" Garak asked.

"That he'd better turn around soon and go to the Klingon restaurant with her, or it's going to be a cold night in their place tonight."

"Can you tell what either of them are saying?" Garak asked, pointing to the man. "Try reading his lips."

Leaning forward, Julian stared at the Vulcan. "Why do you think I know Vulcan? Which I do, actually."

"I didn't know that, but it's obvious they're both speaking English." Garak drew Julian's attention to the corners of Garak's mouth as he exaggerated the "EE" sound of "Beetle." "Neither Vulcan nor Andorian have a sound that makes their mouths move like that. Neither does Bajoran. But English does, so it's likely that they're using that language."

As the couple moved down the promenade, Garak and Julian hurried to get in front of them again. "They didn't stop at Quark's," Garak reminded his friend.

"No," Julian agreed, "and they didn't go back to the Klingon restaurant. So maybe that wasn't what they were talking about."

"Why not try to tell what they're both looking at," Garak suggested.

Julian nodded and stared intently, eventually turning to Garak in amazement. "They're both watching the man walking a few shops in front of them. They're stopping when he does and trying to look interested in things they're near."

"Fascinating" Garak said, nodding. "Now why might they be following him?"

Julian led them onto a walkway where he had a more direct view of the approaching couple. "They seem to be arguing. They're turning back. No, they're going on." Shaking his head in frustration, Julian admitted, "I have no idea what they're doing." He glanced at Garak, who shrugged and smiled.

"Actually, I have no idea either, Doctor, but I do think we ought to mention this to the constable tomorrow. Don't you? Maybe you'd like to do that?"

"I will!" Julian exclaimed joyfully, leaning further over the railing as the couple began to disappear beneath the walkway.

Worried that the doctor was unbalanced, Garak moved up behind him and grabbed his waist. The sudden connection of rump to groin seemed to complete Julian's imbalance as his knees buckled and he pitched forward. Garak's arms tightened around the man and he jerked him back onto firm flooring, then stepped back several feet as Julian continued to tremble. There was silence for a few minutes until Julian regained control of himself. He turned and their eyes met. "I apologize again," Garak said quietly. "I can only think that the effects last longer on humans for some reason."

"Unless you're willing to let me research the subject directly..." Julian waited.

Garak shook his head. "They wouldn't talk to you."

"Then I'll have to leave it to you." Julian said, not happy with that solution. Garak briefly nodded. "Maybe we should just call it a night. I have some reading that I need to do, and we can look for things to put into my shoes some other evening."

Garak's face closed as he nodded again, then suggested, almost pleadingly, "Lunch? Tomorrow? The Replimat?"

Nodding briefly in his turn, Julian strode off leaving Garak to watch after him and then to slowly follow. It made no sense. If there had been a single human partner reacting this way, the news would have spread. If for no other reason than bragging rights. So either this particular human was extremely sensitive, or something else was going on. How frustrating that he couldn't just investigate directly. The hands-on approach, so to speak. But the doctor was highly unlikely to appreciate that particular research technique. It would have been flattering to think that he was the cause of Julian's reaction, but the man's firm rejections made that unlikely.

A number of faces flashed through Garak's mind as he tried to think who would know the most on the topic and be the least likely to want to pursue Garak's purpose in asking. He brightened. Godul! Garak doubted that there was a man or woman with whom the Cardassian had had sex that Garak didn't know about up to the time of his banishment. Godul would love to catch Garak up on the ones Garak had missed over the last few years. His steps speeded up. If Godul stayed true to form, he'd be heading for a bar very soon.

As he hurried, Garak glanced down to the promenade, noticing that the couple they had been watching had turned and they were now walking swiftly back in the direction from which they had come, the wife saying in perfect Vulcan, plainly discernible to Garak's well-honed skills of distance surveillance, "I'm sorry, dear, but I'm certain that I left the water running in the bathtub."

**********

"That's much too large. If you could even get it into the shoe pocket, your limping would make anyone look there first." Garak leaned back on the sofa and watched Julian trying to stuff the miniature tricoder into his shoe. The liquor was a fine Roqque brandy he'd brought with him and a sip spread a warmth through his body that was definitely making him feel very good. "No, that's too heavy. Small, thin and light. Surely you have something with those characteristics that could be useful in an emergency."

"Communications, illumination, escape and repair. Yes, I remember. But surely it would be extremely useful to be able to examine your surroundings, and this would even keep notes." Julian grunted with the effort of trying to stuff the small instrument into the side pocket before giving up and fitting it into the heel. "It fits fine here," he said triumphantly.

"Yes, it does," Garak agreed. "But you'll find it a bit crowded in there when you add other essentials. And just as important as getting things into that space is being able to get them out in a hurry."

While Julian again began opening drawers to reexamine meticulously kept tools and potentially repairable equipment, Garak settled himself more comfortably in the corner of the green plush sofa, enjoying the soft texture that he stroked with one hand while playing with the stem of his glass with the other. The temperature of the room had been thoughtfully adjusted up and, while still chilly, Garak found himself more relaxed and contented here than almost any other place on the station.

Their game had resumed at a lower level than before. Garak kept his sexual teasing to the minimum required to remind Julian that they weren't simply buddies, and that he wanted the doctor's attention directed at him and not at the women whom Garak was more frequently noticing the man's eyes following as they walked the promenade or shared a meal at one of the restaurants.

As Julian bent over a lower drawer, Garak's breath caught. He'd spoken truth when he'd told the good doctor that the memory of the man's body would remain with him. At some unexpected moment like this, Julian would move in a completely normal way and Garak would find himself suddenly lost in lust and fantasy. Imagination had previously been relegated to a toolbox for plotting and planning - for making sure that every possible scenario was followed and examined so that each reaction could be appropriately made to every potential action. Sex in the way too distant past hadn't been for fantasy, but for purpose. But this - this slow mental pleasure - was becoming addictive.

"Show me yours."

Almost spilling the brandy onto a top of which he was particularly proud, Garak sat up straighter and brushed needlessly at the fabric. "What?"

"The contents of the compartments and heels of your shoes. Show me yours."

Garak's burst of laughter made the double entendre clear, and Julian joined in Garak's laughter. The doctor had come to enjoy their sexual banter since it was never threatening, even if always directed at him. Becoming a sexual object for a male was beginning to be taken for granted as a normal part of life for the man. Garak wondered if he had ever been so comfortably self-confident. Probably not.

"Since you've already shown me yours, that seems only fair." Garak reached down to remove one shoe and paused, glancing up. "I'd be more than happy to continue. I imagine comparative anatomy must have been one of your subjects. It was certainly a favorite of mine. And I assure you, Doctor, you'd find the study one of great satisfaction." At Julian's amused head shake, Garak sighed, "Well then, if it must be just the shoes," and proceeded to remove them both.

Coming over and sitting down, Julian picked up first one and then the other, laying what he found on the sofa between them. On the green plush rested a miniature phaser and a pronged knife blade, very small but deep enough to penetrate a vein or artery, the prongs forming a hilt to protect the hand from being cut during a stabbing motion. An assortment of small pieces joined the weapons.

"Communications, et cetera?" Julian asked skeptically, reaching out to examine the small phaser.

"Be careful with that," Garak said quickly. "There's no safety." When he saw that Julian was taking proper precautions, Garak leaned back again and took another sip of brandy. "That's a generic inventory. Each skill set needs its own tools."

"Then we can assume that your profession is not that of physician," Julian said with extreme sarcasm.

"A simple tailor," Garak agreed, "who needs to cut material. And a cautious one who protects his stock. You'll find needles and thread deeper in the side compartments."

The named items joined the others. "Actually, I'd think this 'thread' might be easily adapted with these 'pencil' stubs to make a very practical garrote." Julian looked closely at two small pills and started to lift one to his mouth.

"Don't!"

The cry stopped the doctor's hand midway. He looked intently at Garak. "Not a vitamin, then."

"No, not a vitamin." Garak reached for the few objects and tucked them back where they had been stored. "A stimulant. For when you've been sewing too long but the dress has to be finished by morning."

"Of course," Julian agreed. Then looked back at his own shoe. "So what do I put in mine?"

Getting up, Garak looked around the room, then went over to a door which opened to a drawered cabinet, and opened the bottom drawer, brushing through the miscellaneous clutter and emerging with a dented Starfleet emblem. "These old communicators had an on/off switch, as I remember. Make sure it's turned off and that the power source is good, then put that in the heel."

After handing the device to Julian, who had followed, Garak looked around then brightened and went over to the desk, Julian following again. Examining a tiny magnifying lens Garak suddenly twisted and broke it. Ignoring Julian's startled cry, Garak kept only the plastic lens and sorted again through the most frequently used miniature tools. Triumphantly he lifted up a simple piece of wire. "This is very rigid, but can be flattened at the end to make a most useful screwdriver. Sharpen the other end and it can be very useful, too."

"Illumination?" Julian reminded him.

"Ah, yes." Garak agreed. "Your eyes will dark adapt, so you don't need much light." Looking around, he pounced on a round disk. "This will be perfect. It doesn't give off much of a glow when you take off the plastic shielding and expose it to air but, then, you don't need much. And there's still room available in all the compartments if you should come across something else that is absolutely essential." At Julian's skeptical look, Garak added, "Trust me."

Julian shook his head and sighed. "I always seem to, don't I."

They smiled at one another. "Against your better judgment, I'm sure, and against your best interests, I'm afraid," Garak agreed. He broke the mood. "Now, leave all that and come and join me in this excellent brandy. You haven't had nearly enough."

"You're trying to get me drunk, aren't you?" Julian said as they settled back on the sofa, and he took the proffered glass, sipping cautiously.

"Would it do me any good?" Garak asked hopefully.

"Not in the long run, so I shouldn't think the short run advantages would be worth it,"

"Probably not," sadly agreed Garak.

"By the way, thank you for the nightshirt, and for Kukalaka's, as well. It wasn't necessary, but I appreciate it. And he looks much better with his seams repaired."

"I thought you might want to keep that first repair," Garak said, concerned that he should have repaired that, as well.

"He wouldn't have been the same old friend, so thanks for not fixing it."

Reassured, Garak leaned back and, for awhile, the two sat in silence, watching each other and feeling the liquor's warmth spread through their bodies. Garak could see the small changes that showed the liquor was having its effect on the man. The body that had sat so upright was now slowly slumped against the pillow and it was easy to imagine that beautiful body spread out and naked before him.

As he stared at Julian's groin, he realized that the material was tightening, a significant bulge prominently growing. The sudden hope that the long, slow seduction might be finally having an effect was dashed as he looked up to Julian's face and noted the small smile and the slightly glazed over expression. Apparently he wasn't the only one to enjoy sexual fantasies, though Garak would have wagered that Julian's mental companion was not the man's match in strength or gender.

The fantasy apparently finished, Julian refocused his attention and demanded for the hundredth time, "Teach me the Vulcan touching technique."

A wave of jealousy flooded Garak's body. He let it subside. "No more after effects?" Garak asked, pointedly ignoring Julian's groin and the undoubted purpose of his request. "I've talked with a few friends and, as far as anyone has heard, your reaction is unique." He added, with a leer, "If you'd like to roll over, we can perform our own experiment to see if the problem still exists."

Ignoring Garak's insinuations, Julian got up and stood over him, swaying slightly from the easily underestimated potent drink. "Take off your tunic."

"Gladly, but why?"

"Because this is getting ridiculous. There's nothing to be afraid of. You know that you would be able to keep control doing it to me now that you recognize the problem, so are you afraid that I'll drive you out of your mind and you won't be able to stop yourself if I do it to you?"

Garak's voice was soft, but tinged with an edge of danger. "So you want to excite me. Can I assume that means that you've finally come around to accepting that you're attracted to me?"

Julian ignored the tone and stayed squarely where he was. "No, but you can assume that, as a scientist, I can't let a chance go by to learn about something that isn't in the literature."

"And what if I can't control myself again?" Garak asked, pointedly looking the slim body up and down.

"I'm a doctor, dammit. I know how to handle situations like this."

Garak got up, pushing past Julian and landing him on the sofa in the process. He looked back. "You expect the person who is attracted to you - whether or not you're attracted to him - to teach you how to excite your female companions. Is this really about science, Doctor, or is it about becoming a better lay?" Before Julian could respond, Garak had stormed out.

"It's not like you're in love with me, Garak," Julian called after him. "And you forgot your shoes."

**********

"And if you're not completely satisfied, I expect you to let me know."

The elderly woman leaving the shop in a dress at least ten years too young for her was evidently taking Garak's repartee as flirting, and giggled as she swayed out of the shop. Julian stepped forward from behind a table of fabrics and watched her go. "Wasn't that cruel?"

"Not at all," Garak said, beginning to put away the fabrics and dresses that the sale had ended up leaving around the shop. "She's as young as that dress makes her feel." Checking the hem of one skirt to make sure it hadn't loosened, he admonished Julian. "I would think that you, Doctor, as a physician of the body, would consider nurturing the soul to be just as important."

A quick smile was his only reply as Julian picked up a fashion magazine and spun through the computer images. Garak unconsciously shook his head. They might have the occasional spat, but they always seemed to drift back together. In apology of their last, Julian had brought him a holobook of early Earth poetry. Garak had not mentioned that he had already read it, but read it again and the resulting literary discussion had smoothed over any remaining awkwardnesses.

But Garak could tell that the good doctor's attention was still wandering. Garak had begun experimenting with touching the man more. A slap on the back, a comforting caress on the shoulder. Sometimes he could even imagine that Julian was beginning to lean into his touches. Perhaps the man was not even aware that he was enjoying the growing intimacy, but Garak certainly was. What they needed was more time alone. But there was a restlessness in Julian that made Garak worry that their uneventful life was boring the good doctor. Perhaps it was time to step up the slow motion seduction. Perhaps he should talk to Quark about holosuite programs.

Glancing over to the still silent man, Garak noticed that he was absorbed in a brochure Garak had left on the counter. "It should be a memorable performance," Garak's sigh must have been loud enough to draw Julian's attention, the man looking up. "Janton hasn't been off Cardassia in, oh, twenty years. This is supposed to be the last concert on his farewell tour." Shaking his head with a small smile, Garak folded fabrics into neat piles, then paused at a memory. "I saw him when I was ten years old. It was one of the few times my father ever took me with him, but the friend he was going with had cancelled at the last minute. It was absolute magic," he sighed, remembering, then briskly returned to his straightening.

"Are you going?" Julian asked, still reading.

"Oh, if I only could but, alas, it's on Deleb, as you can see, and that is a bit close to Cardassean territory."

Julian looked up. "But you're only banned from Cardassia, aren't you? This should be fine."

"If I don't mind that being the last thing I ever hear, perhaps. I'm afraid, my dear Doctor, that there is something of a price on my head should I ever decide to leave this station. And so you are guaranteed to have me available into the indefinite future for an endless series of totally mediocre lunches."

"I thought you said your father had you exiled. Who put a price on your head?" Julian asked, his interest fully aroused. At a look from Garak, he asked in amazement, "Not your father?"

"Probably not directly," Garak admitted, "but I'm sure he could have stopped it if he had wanted." Carrying the pile of fabrics to a back table, he threw over his shoulder, "Don't let it bother you. I don't."

Putting down the brochure, Julian followed him. "Well, it does bother me." He brightened. "What would you think of our going to the concert together?" Enthusiasm bubbled in his voice. "I could get a runabout, I'm sure, and we could disguise you."

"As an Andorian," Garak suggested, sarcastically.

"Or a Klingon, or a Romulan, or a Vulcan. They're all easy for a surgeon of my superior abilities. Leave it to me," Julian said, his voice filled with excitement.

Perhaps there really was a fate, and perhaps that fate had just lain opportunity in front of him, Garak thought. He shouldn't leave the station. He knew that. It was crazy and it was a lot more dangerous than this kind and good man who liked to play with imaginary dangers could ever imagine. But who was Garak to turn his back on a gift that smiled and offered itself so trustingly to him. Another sigh, this one loud in artificial capitulation. "Not a Klingon."

Julian laughed in happy triumph and agreed. "Not a Klingon."

**********

"You're sure you can undo this?" Garak asked, as he inspected his new blue face in a shop window as they passed. Tossing his head, he watched the antenna bob.

"Every mole and every ridge right back where it was," Julian assured him.

Garak couldn't stop himself from running fingertips over strangely ridge-free skin. It was as if someone had sculpted an artistic distortion of himself. Absolutely fascinating, but continuously startling. Though there was something about the white hair that he did like. Only on the very young, and still rebellious, had Garak ever seen anything other than the dark Cardassian hair and he couldn't help catching a glance in windows whenever he could. Maybe he could get Julian to capture an image as a souvenir. But then he'd probably always be annoyed by the clash of red suit, blue skin and white hair.

"There was nothing in my wardrobe to go with blue," Garak complained yet again. "This red clashed, and the green was just insipid. If we had had time I would have made something up in a light brown."

"Who cares what you're wearing. We came for the music not the fashion show. Did you notice how Janton embroidered the theme of the second piece at least six times in the space of just seven minutes? His fingering was perfection."

"That's one of his most popular works. I have four different live recordings you might want to hear when we get back." Garak added, enlarging on Julian's point and temporarily distracted from the passing images of his dancing cranial decoration.

Without thinking, Garak linked arms with Julian as they argued some obscure chromatic point. But Julian's stiffening made him realize what he'd done. He could have pulled away. He could have apologized but, instead, he met Julian's eyes and smiled. "There's not a soul on this planet you'll ever see again. Enjoy it." A moment, and then Julian's body relaxed. A slight squeeze to Garak's arm in his and a large squeeze to Garak's heart. What an absolutely beautiful night, Garak thought, wishing he had a singing voice so he could repeat one particular chorus that they'd just heard at the top of his lungs. A most beautiful night.

The crowds around them were just thinning out when Garak found himself itching with that sense that someone was watching him. Directing their meandering stroll closer to the shelter of the storefronts, one side covered, Garak scanned the area for something that might explain what he was feeling. "Julian?"

Julian's enthusing died at the serious tone in Garak's voice. "What?"

"Do you see anyone who might be standing around, someone whose behavior is at odds with what you'd expect?" As Julian's head jerked around, Garak tightened the grip on his arm. "With some subtlety, if you please."

"Is this one of your little games, Garak?" Julian asked, but his head movement was more restrained and there was a tension in his body that hadn't been there before.

"I told you there was a price on me," Garak reminded him.

"On a Cardassian, Garak. Not on an Andorian. How could anyone know?"

"All I can tell you is that my instincts are screaming that we're going to be in trouble very soon." Garak laughed as though Julian had said something funny and asked, softly, "Did you notice anything unusual when we came through customs?"

"No," Julian said definitively, changing immediately to "Maybe." followed by a triumphant, "Yes! They were using a new version of scanner that I've read something about recently." He became very serious as he remembered. "It can recognize originating DNA. If anything set it off and an alarm was sounded..."

Garak nodded. "We've been here for hours. More than enough time for the word to go out and some bounty hunters to show up."

"I'm sorry, Garak. I didn't mean to get you into trouble."

"Us in trouble," Garak corrected. "You enjoy a little danger, Doctor, I think you're about to get some." And, with that, Garak pulled Julian into a narrow alleyway and slammed him against the wall as he pulled a blaster out from under his tunic.

"How did you get that past customs? This is supposed to be a weapons-restricted planet," Julian gasped, pulling out a similar one.

Laughing, Garak waved his phaser. "Scanner-proof alloy. Yours?"

"The same," Julian agreed. "We should confer more on weaponry. Maybe you could get us a better price for volume."

Just then, a phaser beam split the alley darkness. Garak and Julian instinctively moved back to back and Garak shot at a shadow which had appeared in the alley way illuminated by the street lights beyond. A scream said one danger was down. Police sirens split the night and shadows raced in both directions past the opening. Then there was a sound of more phaser blasts. Garak pulled Julian with him as he ran a few doors down, then ducked behind some empty packing cases that had been left at the back door of a shop. Handing Julian his phaser, Garak pulled the cases close around the door to completely block it - and them - in, making it appear that the boxes rested against an empty wall. He took back his phaser.

"Shouldn't we get out of here?" Julian whispered into the ear pressed close against his mouth. Garak's answer was a hard kiss. At the sound of running feet going past, and several more phaser blasts, one of which had, by the smell, singed one of their shielding boxes, Julian stopped struggling. There was a momentary silence, and then Garak felt the man begin to return the kiss. Adrenaline burned through them both and the kiss deepened. Hips ground together until they were both hard and panting for breath. The sound of returning steps froze them in place. Garak pulled his lips away to whisper. "Now we should be going." Then leaned in for another kiss that ended in grins from both that could be felt in the darkness, if not seen. As Garak suddenly stooped down, Julian whispered in panic, "Not now, Garak!" But Garak just stood up again, leaned against Julian and, reaching around, felt for the door lock. In just a moment the door opened and they fell into a dark storeroom. Garak quickly closed the door. "That flattened wire in your shoe could have opened it, too," Garak told him. One more hard kiss with hands gripping butts, and they ran together toward the front of the store.

**********

If Garak had thought that anything had been settled in the back of that shop, he found himself sadly mistaken. Julian concentrated on the mechanics of driving the runabout and every time Julian seemed to have a moment free, he needed to go over to check out some system or device. Getting the message, Garak had retreated to his seat and waited for the endless ride to be over.

A hurried trip to sickbay and the Andorian had disappeared, leaving Garak to emerge, with some relief, in his original form. Julian had been business-like throughout the medical procedure, and had given him an injection that he explained would help Garak sleep and suggested, rather strongly, that Garak hurry to his quarters before he collapsed in a corridor.

Garak hadn't seen the doctor in the two days since. And now there he was, walking down the promenade with a buxum brunette clasped tight against his hip. Judging by the direction in which they were hurrying, they were headed for the turbolift that went to officers' quarters. Slowly Garak walked back into the shop and pressed the button to close the gate. He had some accounts he needed to finish and they'd concentrate his mind enough so that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to think about what was going to be happening on that double bed with the greenish sheets, beneath the fake stained glass light. What a shame that his implant couldn't be cranked up any higher. This would be the perfect night for achieving oblivion.

**********

"Are my pants ready yet?"

At the sound of the voice from over his shoulder, Garak froze. Four weeks. Four lonely, miserable weeks since the doctor had disappeared from his world without a word. And now here he was. It was a moment before Garak could turn around. "Since you haven't ordered any, Doctor, they aren't. But I have several pairs that are close enough to your size that they would take only minor adjustments to fit you. Would you like to see them?"

"I was wondering if you're free for lunch. It's been a while."

"Your lady friend stand you up?" Garak asked, turning back to gather up the hemming he'd been about to start, and so that the trembling in his hands wouldn't show to his observant former friend.

"She left yesterday. Business and vacation over and back to Delem. I'm free now."

"How sad for you, Doctor. Unfortunately, I'm not."

There was silence and then Julian asked, "I do need pants. Would you measure me?"

Garak froze again. Slowly he turned, stiff hands clenching fabric. "What are you playing at, Doctor? What do you want from me?"

"I missed our lunches, and I thought you might miss our game."

"Our game!" Unconsciously Garak ripped the fabric he was holding. "I suppose it was an amusing game." Following a moment of shocked silence, the viciousness in Garak's voice gave way to controlled sarcasm. "How clever of you to have seen through it. Did you find it diverting? I assure you that I did." Seeming to suddenly realize what he'd done to the fabric, Garak shook his head. "Such fragile materials. I really have to speak to my supplier. I assure you that I will be very stern in demanding a refund for such defective material."

"Garak, please."

"No, really. It's too much to let someone get away with such shoddy business practices. Just ask Quark. He'll tell you how important it is to follow the rules."

"Garak!" Julian reached out a hand, wrist turned up. "I'm sorry."

The silent reminder stopped Garak, who just stared at the hand as if he'd never seen one before. Finally he asked, "And you want me to forgive you?"

"I forgave you," Julian reminded him.

Forgiveness. The word represented the deepest desire of Garak's soul - the washing clean of past sins. A gift, freely given. Garak had asked and Julian had given, with no conditions on the gift. If Garak were to deserve forgiveness, then how could he withhold it? How was he ever to purge the past from his soul if he hadn't learned anything from the man standing before him? Who would ever forgive him again if Garak couldn't forgive in his turn?

Closing his eyes, Garak took a deep breath. After a moment, he opened them and smiled at his friend and restarted their initial conversation. "So, you need pants. Quite true. Those are sadly out of fashion. I presume you're looking for something that could be worn anywhere."

Julian's smile would have lit a dark room. "Actually, something for lounging in my quarters would be perfect. I'm so rarely out of uniform."

"I think I know just the thing. Something that goes well with your sofa, perhaps?" They both laughed and Julian pulled Garak into a hug, Garak being careful to exert just the right amount of pressure to keep Julian comfortable. They pulled apart. "Just let me close up and then lunch would be fine." Garak paused. "But first I think I'll check the dressing rooms," he said with a small smile. Julian laughed out loud.

**********

Their normal table had been free on Quark's second floor, the surrounding noise giving them a sense of isolation. Their interactions had become almost natural again, but underneath could still be felt a constraint that hadn't been there in the past. Julian was the one to attempt to break through that barrier. "I haven't been honest."

"That seems only fair, Doctor. I rarely am with you."

"Our kisses scared me."

"I know," Garak said quietly.

"I'm not attracted to you, but I was ready to have sex with an Andorian male on the floor of that shop. That's not how I think of myself."

"You object to casual sex?" Garak's eye ridge lifted in silent reference to Julian's month-long companion. "Was it my being male, or my being blue, perhaps?"

"Stop joking around, Garak. You know that sex with you wouldn't be casual." There was no accusation. It was the simplest statement of fact.

Garak dropped his eyes to the table top and picked up a spoon to stir the remains of his lunch. "I really try not to be all that obvious."

"Then maybe you should have taken up with someone else over the past month," Julian suggested.

Garak nodded his head in reluctant agreement. "That would have been sensible." Slowly he added, as if to himself, "If it was only a game."

Julian's eyes followed a nearby waiter, then dropped to the plate where Garak's leftover stew now formed a tall and sharp peak. Eventually he sighed and looked directly at Garak. "I shouldn't have come to your shop. I don't want to hurt you, Garak, but you know I'm going to."

"My dear doctor, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I'm not some delicate thing that requires your skilled medical care. I see a relationship with you as worth the risk."

"Is it possible for us to have a friendship without sex?"

As much as Garak wanted to say yes for Julian's sake, he found himself shaking his head no. Sex wasn't some emotionless coupling. In many cultures it was a spiritual path, and that was what Garak suddenly realized he wanted - the intimacy, the sharing that made two bodies into one, that drove friendship to a level deeper than bodies drove each other physically. Only in the closeness of sex with this man would he be able to reach that melding that would mean he wasn't alone. And no matter how many times Julian said he didn't want to want him, what they had found together in that dark alley wasn't the scratching of the adrenaline itch of danger. The only reason Julian would fear their kisses was because they could come to mean too much.

"Then that's that," Julian said with resignation and started to rise.

Garak reached out to hold him back. "Julian, couldn't you try to have a relationship with me?" Garak's hand pressed tighter. "What have all your other affairs been - enjoyable interludes? Short term passion? Haven't you ever wanted something more? Something that could be written in the very stars your poets write about? How do you know that that isn't us? Until you give us a real chance isn't it possible that you're passing by something you'll always regret? Isn't it worth a little danger and discomfort to find out?"

Julian shook his head, but still he sat back down and leaned toward Garak. "I can't just jump into your bed. I don't think I'm wired that way, Garak. And, even if I could, I lose the chance for a normal family someday."

"You're assuming that we live long enough to have those families, aren't you? I don't know about you, Doctor, but I've never planned that far ahead."

"Well, maybe you should have, Garak. I've just gotten here. This could turn out to be a completely uneventful tour of duty and then I really will have to worry about the future."

"Somehow I'm not as hopeful on that as you seem to be. But be that as it may..." Garak shrugged. "Let's leave the future to tomorrow. It's now we need to settle."

"Don't you understand, Garak, I'm just not ready for commitments longer than a month."

"Then a month it is. Give me one month to see if you can find something in us that you're not expecting. It's dangerous to your self-esteem, I understand that, but one month out of your life..."

There was a hesitation in Julian's face and Garak rushed on before the doctor could fix his reply in concrete. "If it doesn't work out, it's just casual sex. But if it does..." Garak's smile promised the world. "We'll go back to basics. Pretend we're both virgins and just fumble around until you become comfortable." Julian laughed. "I won't push you into anything you don't want," Garak insisted. "All I ask is that you give us a good try. Just us," he emphasized.

That brought Julian's eyes up to meet his. "Faithfulness, but no sex?"

"Faithfulness, and sex whenever you're ready for it."

"I've rather gotten used to sex again," Julian mused.

"And you can still have it anytime you want. And if you aren't ready, then I think you'll find that among my vast store of sexual skills are some truly amazing mastubatory techniques, which I'd be more than happy to share with you."

Julian stared at him for a moment, then put his head down next to his plate and started laughing uncontrollably. Garak's mouth began to tremble and then he, too, began laughing. As the diners at the neighboring tables looked over, the two tried to pull themselves together.

"I have so missed you, Garak."

"And I you, Doctor."

**********

A week and a half of teenaged fumbling had left Julian more frustrated than he could have imagined. Garak did attract him, though he'd never let Garak know, but in some way Julian realized he was also - not repelled - but disturbed by Garak. It was as though Julian would be betraying his own character if he gave in and let himself enjoy the body of another man. And so, while he did let Garak use hands on him to amazingly intense result, he never let Garak finish him off and, while Garak worked, Julian let himself imagine those hands belonging to a beautiful redhead. It had been touch and go more than a few times but he found he somehow liked getting so close and then stopping. Garak, of course, was going insane. But since the game had been the Cardassian's to start, Julian's sympathy was distinctly limited.

He could have finished himself off, of course. And sometimes he did bring himself close. Early in the morning when he first woke up, or late at night before falling asleep. He'd start out remembering Kanssy, who'd shared his bed for a very satisfying month, and would find that somewhere between strokes his fantasies had moved on to a solidly built and rather dangerous man, with a body that could take a full strength sexual assault and give back as good as it got. Once he would realize the way his thoughts were drifting, Julian would stop and just grind his teeth against the frustration.

Today he was leaning on a familiar bar, listening to Morn, on the next stool, tell a story to a newcomer to Quark's that Julian had already heard at least three times. It seemed the right place to bring one's frustrations to see if they could be drowned in a bottle of brandy.

"Doctor! We haven't seen you here for over a week. Or that very lovely friend of yours. You're still together, I hope." The professional bartender's sincere interest in his customers, and their commerce, pulled Julian out of his misery.

"She's gone home, I'm afraid. I am, as you see me - a lonely man again."

"But not for long, I'm sure," Quark assured him, glancing around the bar, then turning back. "There are four women in here right this very minute that I've seen giving you the eye at one time or other. I'll point them out to you and you can choose one, then have me send her a glass of our very best brandy," Quark looked contemptuously at the cheap brand Julian was drinking. "I'm sure that you'll have a warm bedmate within the hour."

As Quark started to turn to do this, Julian reached out to stop him. "Not tonight, Quark. There really should be some mourning period between lovers."

"Certainly," agreed Quark. "Half an hour seems about right. Now do you see that blonde in the corner..."

"Quark," Julian said firmly, "For the time being, you see before you a celibate man. No blondes, no brunettes, not even a redhead."

"No blondes?" Quark asked in horror.

"No blondes," Julian confirmed.

"Well, if you change your mind, Doctor, just give me a wave and I'll have a woman in your arms before you forget what to do with one." An idea came to him. "Of course, if you're determined to ignore my lovely customers, I'm sure that I could find a holosuite program that would satisfy your every fantasy until you're ready to jump back into someone's real bed. Do you like cowboys, Doctor? I've got a program with a cowgirl and a sheriff that..."

"Enough, Quark," Julian said, stopping him. "No women. No holosuite. Just your brandy."

"Up to you, Doctor. But if I were you," he added confidentially, "I'd try the better stuff. What you're drinking has just a trace of aphrodisiac and you're going to end up really regretting that later tonight if you're serious about going home alone." And with that, Quark left.

For a moment, Julian stared at his glass, then put it down and got unsteadily to his feet. As he made his way out, Odo wandered over to where Quark was pouring a drink and leaned across the bar so he could say in a low voice, "The doctor doesn't usually get that drunk. Know what's up?"

"Just lack of women troubles. Actually," Quark said, leaning an elbow on the bar, "I'll bet he's also having some Garak problems. Have you noticed that it's been quite a while since those two have been in together. For a while it seemed you wouldn't see one without the other."

"Interesting," Odo said, looking toward the door through which Julian had disappeared.

**********

"I hate to tell any good customer that they've had enough, Garak, but I think you'd better call it a night."

"But, barkeep, I've barely started celebrating," Garak said, hugging his glass to his chest.

"Celebrating what? Maybe I'll join you," Quark suggested with unfeigned interest.

"Hope. Optimism. The triumph of possibilities." Garak held out his glass. "And, of course, this very excellent kanar."

Refilling the glass, Quark tried again. "You're not making any sense. Possibilities of what?"

Garak leaned forward, confidingly. "If I told you that, I'd have to kill you." Giggling at Quark's horrified expression, Garak remained inscrutible. "Let me just say that this week is turning out to be much better than it started." He repeated the words with satisfaction, if not with great sobriety. "Much better."

"That's good, Garak. Business picking up? I've been thinking of dropping in for a new suit. Something a bit more dramatic maybe this time. It never hurts to promote a successful image when you want people to see a prosperous business."

"Very astute," Garak agreed, squinting his eyes as though to see Quark in his new raiments. "Yes, I'm sure we could come up with something that would lend a certain cachet to this establishment."

"Good," said Quark, pleased. "I'd been thinking of something in red..."

Garak interrupted. "Too early in the process. Let the materials lead the design. I'm sure you'll be very pleased."

As Garak started to rise from his stool, his glass now empty, Quark casually mentioned, "Saw your friend in here earlier. I have to say he seemed a bit down. And why shouldn't he be, with that beautiful girl gone from the station."

"That beautiful girl," Garak repeated, "was of no importance at all. Merely a temporary dalliance."

"That's just what I told him!" Quark agreed. "But he actually said that he's giving up women. Can you believe that?"

A pleased smile spread across Garak's face. "Did he say that? Well, it's probably for the best. New posting. New interests to take up his time." Taking a piece of latnium out of his pocket, Garak laid it on the bar. "May I say again how much I enjoy your exceptionally fine establishment." And with that he was gone.

Quark caught Odo's eye and the changeling nodded.

**********

The hallway seemed unusually dark as Garak wound his way to 901, Habitat Level H3. When his fellow Cardassians had left the station, they had destroyed far too much in their wake. Now you never knew what was going to be working and what wasn't. Or for how long. Garak could only hope that the replicator in his quarters wouldn't be offline again. Except for lunch, Garak took most of his meals on the small table in front of it, and it would wreck his schedule - and budget - if he had to take all of his meals at the Replimat.

"Wait up, Garak," a voice called from behind him.

Extraordinarily pleased, Garak turned. "Doctor! I didn't expect to see you again so soon. Didn't you say you had some early morning examinations?"

"I had something I wanted to tell you, but now I can't remember what it was." The strangely blurred figure made Garak rub his eyes. "Maybe you remember what we were talking about?"

"Lunch tomorrow?" "No." "Your coming trip to the research conference?" "No." "Palatir's second novel? The one that you didn't want to borrow?" "No."

A glow of mischief rose in Garak. Leaning forward, he asked, "Maybe this?" And kissed Julian on the mouth, pushing his lips apart and moving his tongue deeply into the warm wetness. The body he held stiffened, and Garak started to reach a hand down to see what else might share that characteristic when his wrist was clutched in a grip of iron. With a strange fluidity, Garak found the lips he was kissing change and he discovered himself kissing Odo. The two sprung apart and stared at one another in horror.

Garak recovered first, his head completely free from its previous alcoholic stupor. "I've always wondered how you kept so well informed on station matters."

"My apologies," Odo said, still embarrassed and not quite sure what should happen next.

"Could I perhaps suggest that this conversation stay between us?" Garak asked, attempting to act as if kissing the changeling was the most natural thing in the world. "It doesn't show either of us off to advantage."

Odo nodded. "Agreed. And, again, my apologies. I think we can consider this entire exchange to have never happened."

"My thought exactly." With a slight nod of the head, the two men turned their backs and strode swiftly away in opposite directions. When Garak had turned the corner of the corridor, he leaned against the wall and quietly laughed. He didn't think Julian needed to hear anything about this little adventure. Around him, the lights brightened and Garak laughed aloud as he continued on to his quarters.

**********

The air was cold and thin, the rocks rough and catching on the cloth of his pants. He'd try brushing the dirt off again, but there was so much loose gravel that Garak knew he'd be spending all his time swatting the cloth and that would just use up more of his limited energy. Julian was at least twelve feet above him and moving as smoothly and confidently as he had when they'd started this ridiculous climb forty-five minutes ago. If he weren't getting an excellent view of the man from below he'd be tempted to stop right here. Garak did stop and put his head down on a rock that felt surprisingly comfortable.

It was a week ago that Julian had started these exercise sessions, as he called them. It had started with racketball. Once they'd picked Garak off the holosuite floor, they'd mutually agreed that Garak was not going give Julian any sort of a worthwhile game. And while Julian might have looked amazing in the racketball outfit Garak had designed, the sleek fabric complimenting the sleek body, Garak knew that he, himself, showed to better advantage in more roughly textured cloth, such as what he was wearing now. He looked down miserably at the once brightly colored design, dark and grey with dust, and sighed.

After the racketball idea had died a well-deserved death, Julian had come up with another idea - fencing. Garak had loved the costumes, the formalities, the potential violence. What he hadn't liked was not getting a blade anywhere near Julian. The man was everywhere and nowhere. While Garak's blade slashed air, Julian's had played a rhythm on Garak's steel. Even after Julian had rather obviously restrained his superior skills, the only hits Garak could make were ones that made him feel as if Julian was standing still and waiting for his thrusts out of pity. That exercise, too, had been given up.

So here they were on a holosuite mountain, with the virtual ground lost far below some clouds, meaning he didn't even have the advantage of enjoying a distant view. He knew he was standing on the ground, but his strained muscles were strongly telling him that he was about to die a horrible death if he loosened his grip on the peyton Julian had installed just for him.

"Julian, I can't go on. Please end this program before I do it for you. All I want is a drink and a bath. In that order. Julian!"

A scramble of small stones and Julian suddenly appeared at his side. "What's wrong?"

"I'm dirty. I'm exhausted. And I want to get off the side of this damned mountain." Steeling his heart against Julian's obvious disappointment, Garak continued, "I'm a few years older than you and this body of mine, while more than adequate for everything I choose to do to it, is just not up to the cold and thin air."

"Computer, raise temperature forty degrees and increase oxygen by thirty-five percent," the doctor ordered.

Garak pulled the balmy air deeply into his lungs, closing his eyes and basking in returning warmth. "Thank you," he breathed sincerely.

"Do you think you could keep going for another five minutes? There's a rather wide ledge just a little higher where I was planning to have us stop for a long break. There's food and even an air mattress for your tired bones," Julian assured him. "There's Paravian Stew, which you know you love, four different Earth apple pastas, and what's left of the brandy that you left in my quarters that time," Julian continued, encouragingly. "Just five minutes more and you get your reward."

"Five minutes?"

"Five minutes."

"Brandy? And an air mattress?"

"Brandy and an air mattress. Can you do it?" Julian asked, freeing a hand to put on Garak's shoulder.

Responding to the hopeful expression on Julian's face, Garak nodded. "I can do five minutes." Julian patted his shoulder and reclimbed the distance he had backtracked. Struck by a thought, Garak called out, "How did all that get up there?"

"I trekked it in when I tried out the route this morning," Julian called down.

Garak rested his head back on the rock before taking a deep breath of the warm air and starting to climb again.

The five minutes were more like ten but, when he reached the promised ledge, Garak found Julian setting an actual feast in place next to a wonderfully thick bed. As Garak settled his trembling limbs onto the softness, Julian handed him a large glass of fruit juice. "Brandy," Garak had enough strength to demand.

"After the fruit juice," Julian insisted. "This has exactly the right balance of electrolytes for your Cardassian physiology after the exercise you've had. Drink up," he encouraged, waving the glass. Obediently, Garak took it and drank it down, letting the glass fall next to the bed. "Computer, clear away the clouds," Julian commanded, and a magnificent vista appeared beyond their feet. He smiled at Garak, who was closing his eyes. "Don't fall asleep yet," Julian said, shaking his friend. "You need to eat to keep up your strength. "Brandy," he bribed.

With a groan, Garak sat up and took the small cup Julian was filling. His eyes drank in the view before he even thought to sip the drink. "It's wonderful."

"It is, isn't it," Julian said in satisfaction, pouring himself a smaller one and settling himself against Garak on the mattress. "You never did any climbing when you were young, did you?"

Garak shook his head, enjoying the warmth of liquor and friend. "When I would have been old enough, I was deep into my studies. Vacations at school were just different study trips, always with the purpose of immersing ourselves in some new language or culture. Never to simply enjoy the experience."

"What about vacations with your family?" Julian asked.

Garak could feel himself tightening and purposely relaxed his muscles. "Mother died when I was young, and father was too busy for vacations. I stayed with a housekeeper, but we would go on occasional day trips." He smiled, remembering. "She was very fond of me."

"I'm sure your father was, as well," Julian said, looking over when Garak couldn't control his stiffening.

Garak sat up, metaphorically brushing off the discomfort of their conversation. "You mentioned Paravian Stew. I'm starved. Exercise does do wonders for your appetite. Between the muscles I'm going to develop and this good food, I'm going to have to create an entirely new wardrobe for myself." With a slight hesitation, Julian followed Garak's lead and the discussion turned to food and restaurants.

They woke several hours later, lulled to sleep by warm air and good food. Garak looked down at Julian who had ended up curled into his arms. As always, he found himself wondering at the beauty of the man. As a child, Garak had been attracted to art and aesthetics. Never had he thought to hold art like this. His slight movement must have disturbed the sleeping man because Julian stirred and opened his eyes. Surprised for a moment, then comfortable with the situation, Julian's body relaxed and snuggled a little closer. Garak's smile deepened into a broad grin. Perhaps mountain climbing wasn't so bad after all.

"What time is it?" Julian asked.

"We both have a body clock," Garak reminded him. "You tell me."

"20:35," Julian stated confidently. "We should turn the day back and climb down soon. I've got a meeting tomorrow morning."

"It would be more efficient to sleep here," Garak suggested, receiving a head shake in reply.

Julian lay watching the simulated sky, as a simulated shooting star blazed across the dome. "Vulcan touch technique," he asked once again. Garak shook his head as the now familiar game played out. "Why do we have to wait? We've tried just about everything else." At a raised eye ridge, Julian modified that. "You touch me. I touch you. Surely we can add NOT touching to that."

"And you're ready for me to penetrate you if I lose control?" The answer was clear enough, even in the dim light. "Let me know when you are, and I'll show you just what a "10" can do."

"You must have studied some other cultural habits that I don't know about, Garak."

"Probably," Garak admitted, pondering the question. "Aldebaran kissing?" he asked innocently.

"Gag!" Julian burst out, both of them laughing. "Do they really do that?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," Garak confessed. Reluctant to leave, they lay quietly, enjoying the sense of being suspended among stars that they seldom even noticed anymore. There had been another night like this once, Garak remembered. A chuckle landed an inquiring elbow into his side. "I was thinking about this Andorian tongue technique, and how very much I'm going to enjoy showing it to you in the, hopefully, not too distant future."

"Same problem?" Julian asked lazily.

"Oh, yes!" Garak confirmed with a smile in his voice. "You know that problem Andorians have with premature ejaculation," Garak asked. At Julian's nod, which Garak could feel and only dimly see, Garak explained, "The temple system developed a technique to slow down sex so that a healthy Andorian male could have sex for up to three hours. It was so popular that temple priesthood skyrocketed and the population decreased so precipitously that it was outlawed."

"Fascinating," Julian said rising up to sit crosslegged on the mattress.

"It was extremely popular within a certain spy organization for decades."

"And you were part of this organization?" Julian asked.

"Of course not," Garak told him. "It was just something I was taught by a grateful customer. And whether he was part of that insidious organization I would, of course, have no way of knowing."

"Of course," repeated Julian. He lay back down. "Very frustrating." "I suppose you could describe the process in great detail," Julian mused while two shooting stars criss-crossed overhead.

"Pervert," was Garak's laughing reply.

For the next five minutes they just lay there, letting the quiet permeate their souls.

Garak's voice broke the silence. "Are you ready to finish it yet?" Into the silence he asked softly, "Maybe now?" There was no response - not positive, but also not negative. Reaching out a hand to find Julian's arm, Garak pulled him very slowly on top of himself. For a long while, Garak simply held Julian so that the man could have broken free at any time. Julian's body was tense and then, suddenly, relaxed and lips descended on Garak's, blocking out any view of the stars that were now forgotten by both men. As Julian began to rub his hips against Garak, Garak stayed passive, unwilling to move more than just to meet those hips in a light rhythm, fearful of changing a decision that he was almost sure Julian had finally made. The sound of Julian's communicator buzzing froze them both in place.

Julian's slap at the badge was the response of a trained physician who answers all communications as potential emergencies. "Bashir here."

"Finally!" The female voice coming thru the tinny speaker caused Julian to pull away, leaving the place where he'd lain on Garak to become suddenly cold. Julian sat up. "Kanssy?"

"Computer, stop program."

Blinded by the sudden illumination and confused by Garak's unexpected command, Julian got to his feet on the now visible holosuite floor and walked over to the wall for a bit of privacy.

"What did you say?" the tinny voice asked.

"Nothing. Is something wrong?" Julian whispered, glancing back to where Garak was efficiently gathering together their abandoned picnic.

"No! Something's right!" Her enthusiasm blasted through the silent room. "Would you believe that the deal I was working on for the magneto chips just came through. My boss is sending me back to the station tomorrow to close the deal. I'm going to be there for at least a week! Can you believe it?"

"No." Julian admitted, hesitantly adding, "Congratulations."

"Well, you don't sound very happy about it, Julie, and it was so hard getting through your answering service. Look, I'll come to sickbay just as soon as my shuttle lands. This is really big. They might want me to stay there and act as contract monitor. I'll tell you all about it then." A confused babel interrupted her, and then Kanssy's voice continued hurriedly. "Look, I have to go. Tomorrow. Ooohhh, I can't wait!" Mouth still open, Julian stood there listening to the sudden silence as the static ended.

When Julian turned away from the wall, he realized that their picnic remains had been neatly organized into a pile, and that even the mattress had been deflated. The only thing missing was Garak. With a sigh, he walked over to the detritis and started to pick things up, belatedly noting that the air mattress's flatness was obviously due to some rather large knife slashes. Sighing, he added it to the jumble in his arms.

**********

A whirlwind invaded the quiet lab where Julian had been working for the last few hours. Since he'd checked arrivals, he'd known when Kanssy was coming, but her enthusiastic entrance still caught him off guard. She threw herself into his arms, ignoring the amused glances of the medical personnel who quickly exited the area. "Oh, Julie, I have missed you so much." The words were demonstrated by a fierce grip and kiss, her arms twined around Julian's neck and unremovable, though he did try. Her hands moved up to grab handfuls of carefully arranged curls, and then Julian did manage to put her away from him, with only a wince showing how good a grip she'd gotten.

"I saw that funny Ferengi - Quark - while I was coming here. He told me he'd have our regular table ready at 20:00." She looked more than a little naughty and pleased. "I told him we might not make it tonight. We had some catching up to do." She was back in his arms, her lips on his as if punctuating every sentence with a kiss.

"Kanssy!" Julian tried to say, but that just opened his mouth, which was instantly invaded by a small, enthusiastic tongue. Pushing her hips away, while her mouth still clung, Julian again tried to get out, "Kanssy!" The kiss ended when the woman wanted it to end, and not a moment sooner. Pulling away she struck a pose, hand on hip, then twirled in joy and pleasure, waiting impatiently. "Well, do you like it?"

It took a moment for Julian to figure out what she meant, then ice water metaphorically poured over his body. "The dress. It's lovely. Old?" he asked hopefully.

Pouting, she ran her hands down the rainbow-hued chiffon. "Brand new. That little store across the way. Did you know that a Cardassian runs the shop? Actually he was very nice. I haven't met one before. Wait! He did tell me to tell you..." Julian's heart seemed to stop as Kanssy searched through her very small memory, brightening to add triumphantly, "...that the material for your pants wasn't available any more and that he wouldn't be able to fill your order. He was very apologetic."

While she beamed at successfully remembering the message, Julian found enough energy to respond with a deadened, "Oh."

**********

"Tarkelian tea, Doctor?" Quark asked unnecessarily, since that was always the doctor's beverage of choice. "Extra sweet," he added, smiling at Kanssy.

"Brandy, Quark," Julian requested instead. "A large one." At Quark's conspiratorial grin, Julian added with emphasis, "The best you have, not your house brand.

"I'll have the same," Kanssy announced, pleased with Julian's extravagance.

"You've got it," Quark agreed and started to leave. He paused and leaned down to Julian's ear. "It goes against my principles, but I do think you're making a mistake not to order our house brand."

Repeating himself, Julian insisted, "The best." Shaking his head at the idiocy of hu-mans, Quark left to make up their order.

"I really don't see why we had to come here now. I had a much better idea of what to eat for dinner." Her glance down at his lap turned Julian's face a slightly ruddier tone.

"I told you, Kanssy, we need to talk."

Ignoring him, Kanssy rose in her chair and waved enthusiastically. Julian glanced around in time to see Garak entering the bar in the company of six and a half feet of hard-muscled Klingon, the man's clothing marking him as a diplomat rather than a warrior. As Julian watched, Garak returned Kanssy's wave with a discrete nod, while the Klingon waved back enthusiastically. Garak's eyes passed over Julian as though he weren't even at the same table but, to Julian's shock, his arm snaked around the Klingon's waist, who seemed to take the gesture as exuberantly as Kanssy would have done, crushing Garak to his side. They continued on to a table on the other side of the room while Julian just sat staring. Eventually, Kanssy's voice broke through. "...some sort of violation of a Tellurian ship..."

Julian interrupted, turning to stare at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Malick! The Klingon over there with the Cardassian dressmaker! I told you. He was on the shuttle with me. He's trying to avoid a war with the Tellurians over - something or other. I forget. Anyway, it's all very important." She clutched Julian's sleeve. "I bet that's his 'friend.'" The quotes couldn't have been more obvious if she had drawn them in the air. Julian's head whipped around again.

"What did he say about his friend?" Julian asked insistently.

Kanssy settled in for a lovely gossip. "Well, they haven't seen each other in just years. But they used to be quite an item. He was planning on surprising him. I guess he did." Getting back to a more important topic, Kanssy asked, "Now what was it you wanted to..."

Grabbing her by the hand, Julian pulled her out of her chair and dragged her over to Garak and Malick's table. Her reluctance disappeared at the wide, smiling welcome she received from the Klingon, who looked Julian up and down with undisguised pleasure. "Your description didn't do him justice, Miss Kent." To Julian he added, "Will you join us?"

His eyes fixed on Garak, who maintained a passive expression, Julian nodded, "With pleasure." He seated himself close beside his would-be lover and, leaving Kanssy the chair beside Malick, said in a low, but stressed, voice, "I tried to find you yesterday."

Garak nodded pleasantly. "I was busy."

Malick glanced at the two and a smile trembled at the corner of his lips, even as he listened politely to Kanssy's praises of Garak's dressmaking skills. "I can see that his tailoring skills are, indeed, exceptional. I've never had the opportunity of having him dress me, I'm afraid." The leer clearly made the unsaid point that Garak would have been far more likely to un-dress him. "But, I can assure you, dressmaking is the least of his skills." he finished. Bending a look of affectionate nostalgia to the modest tailor, Malick leaned over and pressed a kiss on Garak's lips, oblivous to Julian's gasp and Knassy's coo of pleasure. "His truly impressive skills."

As Malick settled back in his seat, Julian rose to his feet and grabbed Garak's arm, throwing at the Klingon, "So I've heard. If you'll excuse us for just a minute, there's something I need to talk to Garak about, now that I've found him." And, without giving Garak time to object, dragged him from the table and to the restrooms in the back. There was only a single occupant, quickly leaving at a glare from Julian, who then blocked anyone else's possible entrance by leaning back against the door, his hand still clamped onto Garak's arm. Garak looked down at the hand but remained silent.

"You weren't in your quarters all night," Julian accused. "I had Odo open your shop and you weren't there. Where were you?"

"Just walking," Garak said without enlarging that bare description.

"What's he doing here? Yes, I heard about some diplomatic mission, but did you arrange to have him come?" At Garak's slight smile, Julian shook the other man for the double entendre. "Yes, I'm sure you could arrange that, too. But what do you think you're doing?"

Garak took a moment to peel Julian's hand off his arm, checking for wrinkles on the fabric. "I assume I'm free of the restrictions we put on our relationship." He met Julian's eyes. "You certainly seem to be."

Without warning, Julian pulled Garak into a tight embrace and kissed him with passion as well as anger. The embrace was immediately returned and they began to struggle against the door, grinding themselves together and breathless in their need. A pressure on the door, and disgruntled knocking, then pounding, did nothing to break them apart. Julian pressed his face against Garak's, rubbing his cheek against the ridges as he imagined those ridges that ran elsewhere down the Cardassian's body. There was no reason, no thought in the storm that was shaking him. There was just need. Julian could feel the pressure building and, this time, he did absolutely nothing to hold it back. When it overtook him, he clasped Garak tightly and held on as the contractions took him over, hardly noticing the convulsions taking place in his arms. At last, their bodies collapsed together, and Julian held on tightly, unwilling to let any distance separate them. Their eyes met and they both began laughing, then kissing, and then clutching each other all over again.

By the time they had straightened their clothes and emerged from the washroom, there was a small line of men glaring at them from in front of the women's room. The glares were not even noticed. In a low voice, Garak said, "Malick stopped by to show me a picture of his newest daughter. He's been married for three years now and it's his fourth girl."

"And if he wasn't married..." Julian asked, his jealousy not quite at rest.

"And I weren't committed?" Garak asked in turn. "Then we'd probably be pounding each other into the mattress in my quarters at this very minute." At Julian's tightened glare, he hurriedly added, "Which we never will again." He pulled Julian to a stop. "You need to get your own affairs in order," he reminded him. Glancing across the room to where Kanssy and Malick were enthusiastically talking over one another, Julian nodded. "And we have a problem," Garak said in sudden horror, looking down at his wet, and obviously stained, pants. A quick glance at Julian showed that it was a problem that they shared.

Reaching out to a passing waiter, Julian snatched two drinks off the tray, smiling his apologies, then splashed one onto Garak while pouring the other down his own front. "Problem solved," he concluded with some pride.

Garak's nose wrinkled as the smell rose. "Next time, you get the synthehol and I get the kanar!"

Their laughter was refreshing. Julian's died away as he looked again toward the chattering couple at the distant table. "I still have something I need to do." Noticing the direction of Julian's gaze, Garak stilled as well and nodded. "I'll wait."

**********

Something brought Garak instantly awake. Motionless, regular in his breathing, he listened, then moved very slowly as he analyzed the change in his environment. His voice shocking in the quiet, he said at normal volume, "Computer, lights up ten percent." Julian was caught in midstep, frozen by the unexpected detection. Casually, as though he always wandered through strange rooms in the dark, Julian continued his movement into the room and came to stand beside the bed. "You take foolish risks," Garak said as he removed the phaser from under his pillow, finger still on the firing mechanism, and put it back under the mattress.

"I'll remember to call first," Julian agreed, lightly running a finger around Garak's eye ridge. He looked around. "So, this is where you live."

Garak leaned onto his elbow and looked around the familiar space. "Do you like it? I did it myself, you know. I thought of having a decorator in but, after all, who knows my taste better than I do."

"I'm glad to see you're using the pillow I gave you," Julian said, the doctor adding, "Is your neck feeling any better?"

Surprised at the realization, Garak answered, "Actually, it is!" and rubbed the area under discussion.

Smiling before turning away, Julian walked over to a closet and opened it. Examining the contents, he threw over his shoulder, "I thought you'd keep your rooms warmer." Garak just shrugged.

A locked box stubborning resisting his shoe pick, Julian glanced back to Garak. "Top desk drawer," Garak said, answering the implied question. Julian was back with the key almost immediately. The container proved to contain some latinum, as well as a very lethal little phaser. "Computer, raise lights forty percent." The command was accompanied by a sympathetic, "You can't really see inside that dark closet with the lights so low."

"Thank you," Julian acknowledged as Garak lay back down, relaxed in a scenario which reversed his own visit to Julian's quarters. Closing the box, Julian put it back. "Odo is going to know that I overrode your security, though he didn't ask any questions when I got him out of bed the night before to search your shop." He paused, before continuing his investigation. "He probably knows what we've been up to anyway."

"Probably," Garak agreed with a small smile.

As Julian looked around the spartan space, Garak pointed at another grid that hid a second closet. Julian nodded and proceeded to perform the same inspection there.

"You're surprisingly good at searching," Garak noted professionally. "I wouldn't have thought it was a useful skill in a physician."

"Spies aren't the only ones who need to be able to go through someone's things. Back when I was an intern, this was something we'd have to do when we had a patient who was an addict and we needed to find his stash."

Head bent over the desk, the doctor missed Garak's noticeable wince. Garak sat up. "Well, luckily, that isn't why you're here. Would you like me to type in my computer password?"

"Wait until I finish here. I'd like to see the password when you type it." The smile Julian threw at Garak was returned by a shouted laugh.

"You know I'll change it."

"Of course," Julian acknowledged, "but I'll enjoy making you do that."

It seemed, Garak thought, that Julian was not only getting even for Garak's first intrusion into Julian's space, but was also taking control of their relationship. It was a different game than he was used to playing, but it did have a spicy edge to it.

It was another five minutes before Julian finished with the desk. Picking up a large computer pad, Julian glanced at Garak, who responded with a recitation of his password. Julian quickly made his way through the files, shocking Garak only when Julian sent copies to himself. "So I can take my time looking through them," Julian explained to Garak's pleasure.

"Can I offer you a drink?" Garak asked. "Perhaps some brandy?"

"No, thank you," Julian replied, head now bent over the labels of holobooks. He glanced up momentarily to request or, perhaps, order, "And I'd rather you not take one yet either."

Smiling, Garak put down the decanter he had just lifted. "Whatever you say, Doctor. It would seem that you're in charge of this little adventure." Julian flashed a smile at him and returned to examining the labels.

Temptation was winning over patience and Garak could feel Julian start as he stepped up behind the man and allowed his erection to find its natural place between the slim hips Garak lightly clasped. Night shirts were so practical. A shiver went through Julian's body and his head rose for an instant before he returned to sorting through the books though, perhaps, with a little less concentration on his task.

"There, that one. I meant to have you borrow it. A classic Cardassian mystery that I'm certain you'll enjoy." A few small thrusts made the point that there were other things yet to enjoy. It was with disappointment Garak found himself pushed back as Julian straightened and pulled away to face him. At least, Garak noted, the book he had mentioned had been left out.

"Next..."

If the doctor was using a clinical attitude to try to make Garak uncomfortable, he was not succeeding. "Me, I would imagine," Garak suggested with a smile. At Julian's nod, Garak said, "Computer, raise the temperature seven degrees." Neatly and quickly, Garak removed his nightshirt and folded it onto a chair, then came to stand before Julian, the rough texture of the carpet pleasant beneath his bare feet.

"Fascinating," Julian muttered as he circled around.

"I like to think so," Garak agreed, smiling and comfortable as Julian continued his examination. "But surely I'm not the first naked Cardassian you've seen."

"The first live one," Julian admitted. "And the autopsies, while thorough enough, were just holo images."

"It's so difficult to obtain Cardassian bodies, now that the war is over."

There was an edge to Garak's voice that drew Julian's attention. "For which we're all grateful," the doctor assured him. Garak nodded, accepting the doctor's oblique apology for the awkwardness of his phrasing. Finally, stepping back for one last overall look, Julian gestured for Garak to lie down. "The table, please." He corrected himself. "I mean the bed." Looking at it critically, he added, "It's very narrow and high."

"But the central location makes the room appear so spacious, don't you think?" Garak lay down, smiling as Julian slowly made his way from the crown of Garak's head down to his feet, and enjoying Julian's scientific examination of his organ, Julian weighing it in his hand before putting it down gently and continuing his exploration. The smile never left Garak's lips.

The pleasant thread of Garak's thoughts broke abruptly as he became aware of the doctor standing looking down at him. "Finished, Doctor?" he asked.

"For now. But it's time to move on to Stage 3."

"Which is?" Garak asked, curiosity evident.

"Ground rules," Julian said with quiet seriousness. "I've just spent a long time thinking about what happened between Kanssy and me. Some of the unpleasantness could have been avoided if we'd been clear and honest with each other before we started." Very slowly, he began stroking Garak's cheek, as if to mitigate what was coming.

"You should know, before we start, that this isn't a happy-ever-after story. I have a long history of short term involvements, and I can't think I'm about to change. I'll be faithful to you while we're together, and I won't insult you by asking the same of you. I know you will be." Julian ran his fingers up the ridges that ran into Garak's ears, leaning down to drop a quick kiss on lips that softly parted in response, and following that up with small kisses to the corners of Garak's mouth, while Garak's eyes never left Julian's.

"When we break up, I'll hurt you. I can only say now that I'm sorry for the pain I'll cause you, but that's the way it will be." He paused to let the words sink in. "This is the time for you to change your mind, if you're going to." Garak swallowed, but nodded and closed his eyes. Julian returned to placing kisses that framed Garak's face, letting his lips glide over the eyes and forehead ridges, and finally ending with a kiss to the oval indentation in the middle of Garak's forehead.

"What you teach me I'll use on other people when we're no longer together," Julian continued inexorably. "But while we are together, you'll always know where we stand. I'll be honest with you and I'll expect honesty from you." Garak's eyes opened again. "Oh, not in the small things. And I'm not saying we won't have secrets from each other. But in the big things..." Again, Garak slowly nodded and let his eyes fall closed again. The kisses resumed, light as puffs of vapor, and there might well have been vapor in the room because some seemed to have condensed in the corners of Garak's eyes.

Increasing the pressure of lips on lips, while simultaneously holding down Garak's forearms, Julian began changing the mood between them. Garak relaxed and let Julian control. Lips moved over ridges and along the chin line, small licks bringing up goosebumps as Julian worked his way around the side, and then back, of Garak's neck. A few nips textured the skin more deeply. Julian followed this up by kisses that explored Garak's chest and then ran lower. By now it took more force to restrain Garak as Julian settled in to licks and nips that circled their intended target, without ever touching it. Then one quick lick to the end of the ridged organ, resulting in a spasm of Garak's body, and Julian straightened, standing quietly until Garak opened his eyes, having no idea what the next play in their game was to be.

Taking Garak's hand, he ran the palm gently over the back of one of his own hands, his eyes never leaving Garak's. "Teach me."

Garak's voice was husky and took a moment to steady. "Do you have any idea how many months it took me to learn the basic techniques? And it was years before I could do it reliably. Let me do it to you. I promise. I won't leave you wanting."

"Teach me." Julian was relentless.

"Are you always going to be this difficult, Doctor?" Garak asked, curiously.

Julian smiled. "No, but I may as well get my way while I can. What you do to me, I do to you."

"Equal and opposite. Action and reaction." Garak nodded approvingly. "You're a very fast learner."

"You have no idea," Julian admitted with a small, secret smile. "Now, teach me." The demand left no room for argument.

"The trick," Garak explained, though he knew the exercise would be futile, "is to become so aware of the skin that you're able to move with the shape of the body. It takes close observation and steady hands but, most of all, it takes an instinct for knowing when you've gotten too far away. Getting too close is obvious," he added, demonstrating by carressing the hand he held.

"Your hand participates in the stimulation, of course, since your instrument is skin, after all, and is at the same distance as that on which you're working. Much less sensitive, of course, because of the lack of body hair. But it's the feedback in your own hand that tells you where you are." Julian nodded.

As Garak talked, he turned Julian's arm over and, tuning the man out, concentrated on the motion he was about to perform. With increased awareness, the contours of the surface anatomy seemed exaggerated, much like time slowing in an emergency. Once started, it wasn't difficult to maintain the proper distance. Old skills had come back. Only a slight trembling, at first, betrayed Julian's reaction, or the man's subsequently regained control, both effects being lost on Garak as he maintained his focus on his own actions. When he felt that he had adequately made his point, Garak pulled his hand away breaking the connection. Aware again, he was surprised to find Julian aware, and not lost in the sensations.

"My turn," Julian announced. While Garak attempted to conceal his amusement, Julian picked a spot on Garak's chest that was free of the ridges. As expected, his hand would fly up and down, but never at the needed height to produce the desired results.

Garak, expecting failure, tried not to appear discouraging and let himself retreat into fantasies of his immediate future. Ten, twenty, thirty failed attempts. Garak lost track and stopped counting. After all, even when Julian only brushed against his chest, it was very pleasant and even tingly. That brought Garak alert in an instant. There was no way that the doctor should have been able to make Garak's skin tingle, the characteristic initial sensation. Not breaking his still awkward and uneven motion, Julian used his other hand to push Garak's head back down, only the smallest interruption in the sensations being the result of the simultaneous motion. Garak couldn't catch Julian's eyes, of course, because Julian was concentrating, but there was most definitely a tingle. And it was increasing.

Taking a deep breath, Julian looked down at the still figure. "Now be quiet," he warned, though Garak hadn't said a word. "I need to concentrate."

When Garak next regained any coherency, Julian had moved away from the bed and was quickly removing his clothes, putting them neatly next to Garak's nightshirt. Once naked, he reached down and took something out of the side of one of the shoes which had been carefully placed under a nearby chair, then walked back to the bed, holding up a packet for Garak's view. "Lubricant," he explained, unnecessarily.

"Remind me to see what else you put in your shoes," Garak got out as Julian began vigorously applying the contents of the newly opened packet to the appropriate part of Garak's anatomy.

"Later. Right now, you're going to finish what you started quite a while ago. And then..." Julian concluded mischievously, "...we're going to play turn around and I'll show you a few tricks of my own."

**********

Awakening in the half-light of the familiar room with his customary immediate alertness, Garak could feel the warmth behind him and the weight of the arm slung over his waist. He breathed out in a long sigh. So this is what happiness felt like. He would have laughed out loud except for the fear the sound would also awaken the man behind him. For now, he was content to simply - be. No dangers to run from; no soul-deadening boredom to endure. Just a moment of complete peace.

But moments aren't timeless and the present must become the remembered past. And so, before this fragile bubble of time burst, Garak did what he did best - he began to capture it. He'd been trained to observe, but it was his nature, perhaps inherited, that had taught him how to neatly store away those observations in such an organized manner that he could retrieve them for later analysis and possible correlation.

This data he would put away, too, but in its own private place so that he could take it out again to cherish.

Like running hands over silk, he let his body feel and stored those feelings away - data in his mental computer. The chill of his front. The warmth of his back. The flow of breath on a certain spot on his back that was there and gone; there and gone. The pressure of the arm on just that spot on his hip. The smell, tantalyzingly familiar, and now soaked by the only perfect exercise into the material of his bed. He inhaled deeply. He could place himself, in his mind, in a remembered location and be there. Tactile memory - the edges of memory vision dim, but Garak could push them back, inch by inch, to recapture forgotten details. Aromas were more difficult to remember unless you smelled them again but, oh, how desperately he wanted to remember this one, this fragrance of man. Filling his lungs, Garak imagined the redolent aroma passing into his bloodstream and changing his very being. Julian and he merging more intimately than they already had.

Temporary? The good doctor hadn't the faintest idea just how addictive Garak intended to become. Whatever it took to capture Julian as throughly as the man had captured him, Garak would do. Boring? Never. Garak would become an endless source of stories and mysteries to intrigue the scientist and mesmerize the man. Sex? Julian couldn't even imagine. But he would.

What else had Julian asked for. Oh, yes, honesty. Trust the man to know just where to find Garak's vulnerabilties. The shopkeeper/spy whose trade was deception. Well, if that was the only currency in which this transaction could be paid, then so be it. The big things. Tain's face slammed into Garak's mind, but Garak forced it ruthlessly away. That, too, someday. Not now.

This slim and beautiful man might look soft, but Garak knew he wasn't. The hardness would be at the rock bottom of his soul or he would never have chosen Starfleet as a profession. He would be able to handle the blood and the bodies of Garak's past. What worried Garak more was the differences in their base philosophies. The young and idealistic doctor had been trained up in Starfleet's idiotic willingness to let total disaster happen if it violated their precious rules and regulations. Garak had not the slightest doubt that the ends really did justify the means. To avert disaster, he was willing to balance right and justice and become judge and jury. There, they would be at odds. But if Julian was anything, it was rational, and Garak was certain that, with time, he could make the idealistic man into the hard realist. A terrible loss in some ways, that innocence, but necessary.

They would endure.

With shock, Garak realized that he was planning a future. He, who had never known if he'd be alive from one day to the next, who had wondered if he even wanted to live after being abandoned on this godforsaken station, was actually looking forward to tomorrow. And did it really matter if tomorrow never happened? He had this moment. He had now.

The game was over. He'd won.